In the nursing home, they cannot force her to take meds. They suggested a psych facility but said then her medical needs won't be met. Hospice cannot pick her up. She was spitting at everyone today. What do I do if this continues? Can they make her leave the nursing home? I am ready to just wash my hands and let her alone to her own choices. One day they tell me she probably make it through the night, the next day they say that is no longer the case. I am so lost. What do I do now?
that fit into their story LINE
If we are taking care of a sick or elderly person who is cranky, paranoid, controlling, mean, or any other negative behavior you can think of, each and everyone of us will learn over time that we will make up stories or hide the truth from the one we are taking care of just to get them to do what is necessary either for their own good or to get them through the day. It is excruciatingly clear that if we try to practice "honesty is the best policy" it will only blow up in our faces.
And the repetitive stories, as well as the confabulation (making things up that fit into their story 9 or memory gaps) are just part of the process. They have no awareness that they're doing this. The sad part is when we realize that's the only memories they have access to. It's a pitiful disease.
tablets are often better AND CAN BE disguised IN PUDDING or applesauce
I am frankly surprised that they CAN'T handle it
TO help take some of the pressure OFF the nursing home
There's AN uncooperative, almost psychotic phase
Is she in A LOCKED AND licensed memory care facility
a new place that suits HER needs
Capsules are tough because they're not supposed to be broken up. If doctors are made aware of the problem, they can frequently prescribe a crushable tablet as an alternative. Or sometimes a liquid, such as Tylenol or Advil.
Flavored liquid Tylenol or Advil can be put into juice and giving it is imperceptible. Medical tablets are often bitter the candy disguise inputting or applesauce. Your profile says your mom has dementia. Is she at a dementia friendly facility? Nurses and caretakers there typically know the routine. Unfortunately what you describe is not out of the ordinary and I am frankly surprised that they can handle it.
Also, if they are alternating between telling you she's on her last leg and then she's not, a conversation with the doctor is in order as to whether or not she's hospice appropriate, which would involve the doctor certifying that in his opinion she has 6 months or less to live. Then through the hospice program there are other services available the help take some of the pressure of the nursing home.
There's uncooperative, almost psychotic phase that a lot of dementia patients get into at the end and that's why Haldol, which is an anti-psychotic, also comes in a liquid form. How progressed is her dementia? Is she in a lot and licensed memory care facility? If not, they just don't know how to handle her and the inadequacy of that is rubbing off on you. YOU may need to find her a new place that suits your needs and level of care.