Follow
Share

She insists that she takes her own baths and just took one, which of course she didn't. She cannot get out of the tub on her own. She will only bathe....has never taken a shower. I have tried everything. I have her tub set up with shower chair and removable shower head with hose.

You may need to hire a bathe aide to come in a few times a week. Not only do the experienced ones know the tricks of the trade in getting an uncooperative person to do what’s needed without a fight, it’s also often true that people will cooperate better for an aide than a family member. A CNA experienced with dementia patients looking for side work could be a great help to you both
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Daughterof1930
Report

You need to begin to take more of a role in her hygiene.
Chances are she also needs help toileting as well.
"Mom, I have your bath ready" Then you bring her into the bathroom and help her.
If you think about how many steps there are to getting a bath or shower ready then actually taking the bath or shower and "we" do it all without thinking of all the steps.
The alternate would be to hire someone to come in 2 or 3 days a week to give mom a bath or shower.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Grandma1954
Report

Agree with others, and I do get what you're struggling with.
My aunt would fib that she sponge bathed. I knew it wasn't true because you smelled her.
When her neighbor would visit, she would want to sit and be social, and smelly.
Afterwards, I couldn't take it, and told her, I was getting her bath ready. She went to her room, shut the door, jumped in the bed, and threw the covers over her head. I don't believe I saw her spring so fast. She just wouldn't listen to me andwouldn'tlet me bathe her. Probably about three times I had luck.
So now my cousin has help coming, and since the help isn't family, I think the caregiver is having better luck than I did. Sometimes it takes an outsider that they'll listen to.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Tiredniece23
Report

We used to tell my very elderly Aunt with advanced dementia that she was going to the doctor that afternoon, or that someone she remembered was coming to visit. Eventually, even that ruse stopped working and we hired a neighbor who was already a PT caregiver to come in 2x a week to bath her. Sometimes my Aunt was cooperative and sometimes is took some cajoling.

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/how-to-help-with-bathing-and-personal-hygiene-top-tips-from-caregivers-212010.htm

It may need to be sponge baths for your Mom. It may also be time for her PoA to read the document to see what activates the authority -- if she has a PoA and they are already active in taking over management of her affairs.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Geaton777
Report

You say that you've "tried everything" but have you actually tried just taking her hand and leading her into the bathroom and helped her get into the prepared bath, and then of course just wash her up yourself?
That way she'll feel safe and you'll know that she's actually clean because you cleaned her yourself.
I would have to help my late husband into his walk in shower, sit him down and then wash him up real good, and then again help him out and dry him off.
And yes I always got a little wet in doing so, but at least my husband got his needed showers and he felt safe with me right there.
And of course if you're not comfortable bathing your mom, you can always hire an aide to come at least twice a week to do so, and then use the extra large body wipes and waterless shampoo caps for the in-between.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to funkygrandma59
Report

Same with my mom. “Everything” goes on a calendar on her fridge, including “bath days” Tues. & Fri.”, that way she knows it’s coming. I also bought a small space heater to heat that space 1st. That has made it easier. :-) I have to remind her of when she was an ER nurse and people would come in that had not bathed, in Lord knows how long, and how she had to endure the stench … I said, mom, you don’t want to be one of those people!
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to DenaC1
Report

Does she have Alzheimer’s or dementia? They will always refuse a bath or shower unfortunately. It’s always a struggle. It has to be a creative endeavor or just live through the squawking.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Dementia153
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter