Follow
Share

I have asked quiet a few questions dealing with my Mom's dementia in the last little while. She was being up and average of 2 to 3 hrs. a day for at least 2 months. Now for the past month she gets up earlier and stays up later, just out of the wild blue! She picks up the daily newspaper on the couch when she sets down in her chair, and never puts it down all day. She reads the same page and the same story continuous. Yesterday, she had the county paper with a couple pics of convicts and she stared at them all day! Today, it is a coffin draped with the American flag where a law officer is being buried! Is she using this as a cover up to "peep" out from behind it, to see every move I make (I am not allowed out of her sight)? But sometimes I notice she isn't even paying attention, just staring at the paper. Has anyone experienced anything like this before? I think I am going to go stark raving crazy before any of the conditions around our home ever changes for the better. HELP! Any advice?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

22 Answers

Most
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
First, try not to get your hopes up that conditions will change for the better. They will change. Sometimes the new conditions will be less stressful for you than the old conditions, but sometimes they will be worse. It is just the nature of dementia, and not anything you are doing or not doing.

My husband used to "read" the same piece of paper for long periods of time. It could be anything handy -- the newspaper, a piece of junk mail advertising eye glasses, a recipe, a magazine cover. He did not do this day after day -- just periodically. I took it as a sign he was having a "bad day" cognitively and tried to keep everything easy for him. (In the very early days of his dementia he would sometimes "read" the piece of paper upside down. Definitely a bad day.)

It might be more pleasant for Mom if you handed her a magazine with fun pictures, such as the one about birds or another nature magazine. That might be nicer than staring at convict's pictures. But it really might not matter. She may not be taking in what she is seeing in any case.

I suppose this could be a cover for watching you, but it doesn't sound like it. If she wanted to watch you, wouldn't she just do it?

The disease is what it is. No behavior, no matter how strange, is really surprising.

Feel free to keep popping on here to compare notes with other caregivers.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
My MIL used to go to bed with a book every night. It had been a ritual for years and years. She enjoyed it and like to fall asleep while reading. But, we did notice how she never finished a book - read the same page over and over. This is an obvious sign of cognitive decline - and truly sad when you think about it. As Jeanne suggested - try a magazine - I used to do this with my MIL. We would sit at the table with a favorite magazine (Victoria) which we both enjoyed.

It would generate conversations into gardening which she loved as well as cooking and home decorating. I had saved many of my old copies, so on many days, they were a life saver and she truly enjoyed them.

And as Jeanne mentioned, if she wanted to watch you - she just plain would, right? Maybe not, but that is what my MIL did - she was always watching us - it was a challenge to deal with, to say the least. Take care.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
yes my husband does this quietly now. He used to rant about what he was reading, but now just sits and stares at the papers all day. He can read but does not understand what he is reading. The phone is another story. Ugg! I think they are trying to understand and comprehend. He used to read aloud to us all day, and we had to remind him to read to himself. I thank God im not living alone with this situation. Our grown son is here to witness this too, My husband is just 56.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
When I worked with dementia/Alz residents, pleasant picture books or a magazine that hones in on a previous interest are the best......yes, very sad but part of the process, unfortunately. I used to get so angry when families would visit & quiz their loved one on what they were reading......just go with it as long as it doesn't agitate! Sometimes old family pics will divert them to the "old times" & hopefully pleasant memories. I also would not put the news on or noisy shows during sundowning hours.......
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
my mother in law does the same thing. I take care of her 24/7 because we recently moved in with her. She reads the newspaper and all of the magazines that she gets from all the medical supply companies or vitamin companies, etc. She is reads like that for up to 10 hours a day! Then she wants me to sit quietly while she reads the ads to me!!! And it takes about 15 minutes for her to read 2 sentences. I have gotten so frustrated with it, and I'm trying to try new ways to deal with it.. because she wants me to sit and listen to her for an hour or two or three... it seems like she has lost the concept of time. I have even walked away while she is talking and it doesn't seem to make any difference. I have 4 children and my husband, who is in bad health also, to take care of!
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
kdwildflower, losing the concept of time seems to be common, at least to certain kinds of dementia. It wasn't so bad for my husband but my mother seems to have NO sense of the passing of time. That is a tough one to deal with. I wonder if it would help to set a clock in front of you both and say, "I'd love to listen to you read. I can stay until 3:30 and then I have to start supper." Then "Thank you for reading to me. I enjoy that. Now I have to start supper. You can keep reading to yourself." Personally, I don't think I could listen to 2 sentences for 3 or 4 hours and retain my sanity. I hope you can come up with ways to minimize that chore without hurting MIL's feelings.

What a journey!
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
My fil does this and agree that it is merely a ritual. He has no comprehension. It is just something to do and fill a void for him. I think he just zones out but this allows him to feel normal in front of others. He watches tv but doesn't seem to get anything out of it. He likes photo albums of he and his family when he was a little boy. This seems to be pleasurable for him. I advise to just keep photo books handy and not worry about it. This is the cognitive degeneration.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
My father would sit a couple of hours with the paper, but not really read it. My mother will also try to read, but have to read the same thing over and over. It never sinks in, but she tries. Reading is hard for older people, particularly when there is dementia. If she seems to enjoy sitting with the paper, I wouldn't worry too much. It may be because it is familiar to her, so helps her feel a bit more balanced. Sitting all day with it is a lot, so I understand your concern. I just don't know what the best thing to replace it with might be.

My father used to work crossword puzzles. Every day he would do the one in the newspaper. In his last months of life, he couldn't work the puzzles as well, but still he would sit with his pen in hand over the puzzle. It is probably because it was familiar to him and he wasn't ready to give up working puzzles just yet.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
kdwildflower, why don't you go ahead and start a new post with that question. It may get more attention that way, from people who don't have a "reader."
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
My mom "reads" the newspapers, but really seems to read the headlines over and over. She'll repeat them out loud over and over, but there doesn't seem to be much comprehension. She saves days and days of newspapers, saying she is going to read them later. I know she isn't reading them. I let a certain amt of them build up and then throw them away. Sometimes she tells me to "take them to Daddy, he wants to read them". She's referring to my father, who died almost a year ago and she can't remember that he died. So I tell her that he'll enjoy them and I'll take them to him. That seems to satisfy her. She can't follow the TV news either. She can be watching TV and think that what's she's watching is happening right outside her apt. She can't tell the difference between a TV show and the news. I think reading the newspaper is a familiar behavior that makes them think that they're looking normal. I just go along with it and keep paying for her to have the newspaper delivered to her at her memory care unit. My very best to you!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

Recent Questions


Popular Questions


Related Questions

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter