My 83 year old mom won't eat food! What to do?

My husband didn't like Ensure but he was fine with it in a blender with ice cream, or with Carnation Breakfast and milk and ice cream. Would that be a way for Mom to enjoy the Ensure?

How long has this been going on?

my alz seminar said to make with the junk food of their choice. her body isnt in need of nutrition and is beginning to reject it. cookies and ice cream just taste good even when your not hungry. at least its some sustenance. my mom liked strawberry insure on breakfast cereal. food and water will not reverse the wasting away that is inevitable. at a point mom wanted nothing to eat or drink. the organs were near death and couldnt use either. when the food and water was refused mom lived about another 20 hours , 10 of them unconscious.

My sister and I took care of our paternal grandmother for about four years until she passed in February 2012. She had COPD (never smoked a day in her life) as well as the worst case of rheumatoid arthritis that the rheumatologist had ever encountered. Because the RA took such a toll on her immune system, she was hospitalized 13 times over the last two years of life for pneumonia and various respiratory infections. She was a tiny woman, barely 4'10" and never reached 90lbs at her healthiest.

About 18 months before she died, she spent 16 days in the hospital due to a Staph infection that turned out to be MRSA. Her doctor was always very compassionate but honest with me and told me that it would take a miracle for her to survive the drug/antiobiotic regimen required to treat MRSA. Amazingly, she made it through and we took her home. She weighed 79lbs the day we checked out of the hospital, compared to 83lbs when we checked in 16 days earlier. When we took her home, she had no appetite and on her best days she might force down half of a BOOST. A week later, she was down to 75lbs and my sister and I were both on the verge of losing it because we didn't know how to help her! We were literally watching her starve to death and it was killing me.

The Nursing Director at our local hospital became one of my best friends and my emotional rock during this time (and still is to this day). I went by to see her and vent some of my anger and frustration about how helpless I felt. She told me that she had just hired a nurse a few weeks earlier who had shared a story with her about a patient who had no desire or interest in eating and was wasting away. The patient liked a particular brand and flavor of nutritional drink (BOOST or Ensure and only vanilla). So the nurse went to the grocery store and found that Haagen Dazs ice cream had the most calories and highest fat content of all brands. She bought several pints of it in vanilla and starting making the patient 'milkshakes' with the ice cream, Boost/Ensure and also included a smoothie/shake mix with high protein content. The patient loved them and those shakes saved her life!

So I immediately went to the grocery store and bought everything to make similar shakes for my grandma. While I was in the ice cream freezer section, after I stocked up on Haagen Dazs, I saw some ice cream made by a local dairy and suddenly a long-forgotten memory from 30+ years earlier came rushing back to my mind! My grandma LOVED their Butter Pecan ice cream when I was a little kid! =) She stopped buying because my grandfather had heart disease and shes forced him to eat very healthy, so we only ate things that all of us could enjoy. I grabbed all 10-12 pints of Butter Pecan on the shelf without another thought.

Within two weeks, she was back up to 78lbs and barely topped 80lbs at the four week mark! Ice cream saved her life!!!

In the 9-12 months prior to her death, she lost her appetite again but I contacted her doctor before she had significant weight loss. He prescribed Remeron, an anti-depressant that is frequently used as an appetite stimulant, and it started working within a few days. For the rest of her life, we just ramped up the dosage of Remeron (with her doc's consent, of course) to keep her eating well.

I hope this helps! I know how difficult it is to deal with this situation and you will be in my thoughts and prayers!

Kindest regards,
JasonR

When people age and are not that active they really don't require as much food as you may think they would. If ice cream is what she likes and eats with no problem then try making a shake for her with the ensure. Make her a shake with some protein powder, or mix the protein in some yogurt. Make sure that she is getting her fluids which are very important. Good luck, hope things get back on track.

I am sorry that you have to go through this. But think of it like this it is food not very nutrious ,but at least there is food that she likes. At her age she should be able to eat whatever ahe wants . We do,I realize that she has health issues. But, if she is content let her eat.example, my momis 97and she did not eat for over fifty days no food, but she drank a lot of root beer. After while she wanted toast and jelly. Be patient and remember to have days filled with the things she likes it makes for a much nicer memory.

My father went through the same thing and we are now going through it with my mother-in-law; post stroke. We have tried everything to get her to eat. We get her anything she asks for but she will only take a bite or two and refuse the rest. We even brought our 5 year old grandson (her great grandson) to visit and he ended up feeding her spoon by spoon. He was thrilled! She however eventually refused that too. What she will eat from time to time is a Wendy's Frosty. At this point, calories are calories no matter where they come from. Be willing to allow her to eat/drink anything that might appeal to her at the time. There are many reasons that can cause a person to lose their appetite but one thing we found with my father was that it was one thing he could still control when everything else was being decided for him. I hope this helps. Hang in there and know that you are not alone.

Don't do what we did with my mother - worry and nag, worry and nag and drive yourself crazy, because you can't make a person eat if they don't want to. Maybe the doctor can give her something to increase her appetite, maybe not. (nothing worked with my mother.) People of advanced age don't need as many calories, and if they won't eat certain foods, provide whatever she will eat - calories are calories. Just make sure she drinks enough ensure to get needed vitamins, etc, then give her whatever she will eat. My mother has been anorexic for 15 years and we stressed constantly trying to get her to eat - to no avail. She is now 99, still living independently, no meds, and never sick, For her - not eating much seems to have prolonged her life. She is skinny as a pin, lies about eating, has no appetite, etc. We just stock her with baby food, ensure, yogurt, bread and sweets like coffee cake, raisin bread, etc. because it is all we can do and it seems to be all she needs.

Just on the lighter side: I've been bringing our Sheltie to the nursing home when I visit my husband; he makes so many of the residents smile and want to pet him. My husband doesn't eat much of the nice lunch they give him, but he'll eat a peanut butter sandwich, and so as not to waste the food, our Sheltie loves to come for the visits and gets a good lunch for himself!

Have you ever tasted Ensure? I spit it out myself and I don't have an eating problem. Make some smoothies with fruits and veggies that have bananas (sweet), some honey and/or stevia (not any other sweetener), blend and see if that works. Anything with a milk component or thick like that is not good.

I agree with the Ensure (I am a nurse who takes care of my mom, she lives with us is 80 years old) especially all the different flavor you can add a baba a to it in the blender or anything with the chocolate flavor as they only taste the chocolate! Yogurt can be added for protein, a good quality ice cream, even vitamins can be added! The main thing is make a blender full and give it to them through out the day not all at once their stomaches are to tiny to consume it all at once and if they feel pain they will not drink anymore! Also a favorite of my moms is home made chicken soup.......onions,celery,carrots, chicken breasts,and chicken stock....cook for an hour and a half shred the chicken.....it's a great hot meal with everything they need in it ! In fact the elderly love soups of any kind and with a little creativity you can get all the nutrition in one bowl for them.