My parents are both 92 and live in their home independently. My Dad suffers from dementia. He is terrified of her as she emotionally abuses him if he goes against her wishes. He wants to see me, but I don't have any access to him. She does not allow him out of the house and won't let me in the house. He is a prisoner there. She doesn't talk to him if he tries to do anything that she hasn't approved. I want to see my father, especially because of his advanced age. I'm afraid she won't let me see him if he goes to the hospital or when he is dying. I spoke to APS, but they said that they can't "see" the kind of abuse I'm describing, so they can't do anything. Do I have any rights in this situation? He is under her control and is powerless.
Therefore, you need to figure out your mother and how to sweet talk your way into the house. Your mom obviously doesn't trust you. So, you need to think outside the box. Get your mom to accept you as a non-threat. And maybe - she will allow you in. Only you know how she thinks. So, what can you do to allay her fears and have her open the door for you. No more threatening her of APS, or calling the cops, etc... If you angered her, apologize. But do Not make it soooo obvious!
He did not leave her when he was capable, ypu have no right to force a seperation by removing him.
Your mother is likely jealous of the fact that your main concern is him. Dad is 92, you have no legal standing.....so bite your tongue and kiss up to mom if you want to have dad in your life.
Hugs and prayers for you NY, and to anyone else living thru this situation.
Just to be sure I've understood you correctly: your father is living at his home with your mother. Two months ago he was diagnosed with dementia, but more recently was assessed as still having mental capacity. You are now hoping to arrange a further assessment.
Your mother, meanwhile, is undermining your efforts. But is it correct that she is your father's primary caregiver, and the one responsible for his welfare?
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