Mom and Dad have lived in AL for two years. Mom's dementia continues to decline. AL is not enough anymore. My husband and I spend the night with them on weekends. And I go there by myself the rest of the week. My Dad and I are exhausted trying to help her. We are constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, ie: falling, cleaning up poop, and now she is hallucinating, verbally abusive, sundowning, and hitting my Dad!
Do we find a place for her to live in a memory care facility, even though she still knows who we are? Feeling a little lost....need direction. Thanks so much.
Many have posted here about risperodone and other psych drugs helping with hallucinations.
You will soon be inundated with advice!
Does your parents ALF have Memory Care? If not, perhaps it’s time to look for one that does have elevated care options for both their sakes.
Who manages your mom’s meds? Has she seen her doctor recently? Does she have access to a geriatric psychiatrist?
Oh and do have her checked for a UTI tomorrow. That can be a huge contributor to the behavior described.
Mom has fallen backwards and fractured her neck TWICE. We must watch her constantly because she won't use her walker. Taking a low dose of antibiotics, daily, because the UTI's have been prolific. They are FINALLY under control.
She can't toilet herself. She eats with her hands.
Now she thinks all the caregivers at the AL are having affairs with my Dad! This is creating quite a ruckus at the AL as the employees are not trained to handle her behavior. They mean well, but her behavior escalates when they talk to her. She has a dead look in her eyes. She cannot finish a sentence. Her hands shake. Poor thing is a mere shell of who she once was.
The way she acts now has been a slow downward spiral over the past 2 years.
Right now, he can rein her in, tomorrow who knows? The only difference in the apartment is that there is no kitchen area and he can sign her out when need be.
Your circumstance is a little different as she is becoming violent. Perhaps you can find a home that offers both, so he can be in one room she in another, they can still visit each other. Good Luck!
Wishing you the best of luck!