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My husband's grandpa has gotten into trouble with the super obvious scams several times now. For example, he just fell for the ol' "I transferred too much money to you; can you buy a bunch of gift cards and send me the info so I can get the money back" scam. His family is thinking about different ways to stop this from happening again.


Grandpa is okay with the idea of being monitored in some ways, so my first thought was something like a kid's tablet, where they can only visit certain sites and/or be monitored 24/7/365 to prevent as much of the scamming as possible. Problem being that we don't want to limit him too much nor do we want to offend him with "kiddy" things.


His family suspects he is starting to have dementia, but he's a bit too stubborn to let anyone help him more directly... I am not looking forward to my husband getting old, but I can just prod him to let people help him. Been doing it for years 😂


Anyway, is there anything elderly friendly that still protects him from the sketchy sites? It has to be more than just an indicator since he's been told to call my husband (works in IT, specifically in security) if he's trying to do ANYTHING with money via the internet/phone and obviously doesn't. Unsure if he's forgetting that he's supposed to do that, being too stubborn to do that, or a combination. Regardless, it's not working. Help.

Ok - you need to shut this down, please listen. I know people who have lost $ in the 6 figure range and more from scammers who are relentless and sneaky. Please take immediate steps to cut him off from the ability to access his funds. Do not wait. Review his accounts, run a credit report on annual credit report.com and make sure that he cannot send any of his money to scammers. Someone needs to step up and become his sentinel. If not addressed, he could lose everything he has.
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Reply to jemfleming
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Try using the blocks on his phone that block every call except from known family and friends. Also use the blocks on his computer for children to prevent most of the scammers and cons from getting to him. Try to limit his online social activity to times when somebody is there to monitor his activity.
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Reply to Taarna
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PertyQuirky: Perhaps he needs to be tested for cognitive decline.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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Hi, I recently got my Mom the new Lively Smartphone4 (formerly Jitterbug?) It looks and works exactly like a smartphone but you can set up various levels of blocking and control from the app. It also has tracking and safety call button features. :) it is also a fraction of the cost of Verizon!
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Reply to Lindy55109
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There is a program called Telecalm. We never ended up using it - because we had to take my FIL's phone away. But for a year before that I had to basically create and lock down a "home" page on his phone that only had the phone app and a couple of social media apps he enjoyed everything else was hidden from his access. Even with that limited access it still caused problems (like calling 911) so we basically finally had to take the phone away.

Telecalm is not cheap - but it gives the caregiver control over what calls go through. It has an app that you can use to track usage. It is a special phone and their claim is that it blocks late night calls, repeated calls, prevents 911 abuse, and 100% of scam calls. If they are getting any other kinds - texts or emails for examples - if that type of app is on the phone the caregiver can control access. Likely by must removing the application. They claim to protect users from outgoing call problems and is able to restrict incoming calls to ONLY trusted contacts.

In addition, it gives the caregiver control over what is on the phone and who they can talk to using the phone.

Again, I have never personally used the service. But my BFF used it for her mother and could not say enough good things about it.

If they are still using the internet on a computer or tablet - you can look for parental controls.
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Reply to BlueEyedGirl94
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Yep....we've definitely been through that with our mother and her dementia. She was declared mentally incapacitated about 18 months ago and I have POA, but that didn't stop her from transferring $75K out of bank account(!). Luckily we fixed it, but that was just the beginning. She said she would never fall for a scam, but we just didn't feel safe with her having full access to texting, calls, and the web anymore. My sister found a great phone platform called Pinwheel and it has worked well for us so far. You have to buy their phone as it's programmed to their platform, but it's worth it. It's a nice smart phone and my mother liked having something new. You will pay for a regular cell phone service, and then pay $35 or so a month for the Pinwheel platform, but again -- it's total peace of mind. You can control all of the apps, you can see all of the activity through your own app on your phone, the phone doesn't allow any internet browsers; and the best part is you control the contacts in the phone. My mother has 10 or so friends and family in her phone who she can call and text, and it's plenty. Best of luck to you, and hang in there!
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Reply to ShanSea
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I replaced my mom's debit and credit cards with a reloadable card called True Link. She gets the card and I get the access to the website where I control what categories and/or specific business the card can be used for. It's linked to her checking account but I control the reloading and limits. It's not perfect but it's made life way easier.
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Reply to Slartibartfast
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It's not only sites, but also emails, calls and texts that can be scams. Legitimate requests are not urgent. Can you ask him to get a second opinion (you or your husband), if he gets a request for money or personal information? We got an email earlier this week saying that our credit card used to pay our internet provider was expiring soon, and to click a link to provide updated credit card information. It was a scam. I could tell that it was a scam by looking carefully at the email address it was coming from. It was obviously a bogus email address, but if you didn't look carefully, it appeared to be coming from a trusted business. Make sure all of his paperwork is in order while he is still able to sign legal documents. He needs to set up powers of attorney (POA) for medical (healthcare proxy) and financial (durable POA) matters. He needs a will and a living will with his advance medical directives. Maybe now is the time to offer to help with his finances? Would your grandfather-in-law let you or your husband handle his bills? Then you can set up online accounts, paperless is best. This should be done by his POA for financial matters. You can put limits on his accounts, or set up notifications to come to you if he withdraws more than a certain amount, etc. You can also ask to receive paper copies of his bills and statements at your address if you prefer paper. Have the talk with your husbands grandfather what he wants to happen if he becomes incapable of caring for himself. Would he want home caregivers, or to go to a senior facility where he'd have people his own age? Much depends on his finances. All the best to you and your family!
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Reply to NancyIS
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Where are this man's children? They should be looking out for him not the grands.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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"Stubbornness" is an early symptom of dementia. Falling for obvious scams is another. If his family cares whether he causes his own impoverishment which results in an inability to fund future care for him, then they need to stop worrying about offending him with kiddy things and start putting solutions into place.

One critical thing will be for your Grandpa to assign a PoA. Maybe it's already your husband. If Grandpa has a PoA, then this person needs to read their PoA document to see what is required to trigger the authority. Usually it is one official medical diagnosis of sufficient impairment. The PoA will need to take him for his free annual Medicare wellness check. Prior to the appointment the PoA needs to discretely get a note to the staff (or through the medical portal) to perform a memory test. Based on those results, further testing can be ordered, like a MoCA test which will measure his executive functioning (judgment). But you already know the outcome to this test since he's falling for scams. The PoA just needs the diagnosis on the clinic letterhead and signed by his primary physician.

Hopefully Grandpa isn't still driving. Even if he's physically sound, his impaired executive functioning can cause him to do some dangerous or ill-advised things on the road.

Grandpa can be given a reloadable cc and an allowance. His checking account should only have the minimum of funds to cover any bills and auto payments. ALl other money should be in less accessible accounts like savings.

He should not be on the internet. Sorry. Give him an iPad or Grandpad. Get him a Raz mobility phone that is controlled by the PoA or caregiver (this is what I have for my Mom, plus my old iPad with no internet connection).

If Grandpa doen't yet have a PoA assigned, a Advance Healthcare Directive, Pre-need Guardian form, and Last Will, then some one of his adult children need to help encourage him to do this soon. Otherwise he risks becoming a ward of a court-assigned 3rd party guardian.

He won't like any of it but his kids should read some of the nightmares other families have been through with out-of-control elders with dementia. He could connect with one of the many experienced financial predators who know how to pull off romance scams, marry him, get him to assign them as his PoA, then literally drain every single penny out of him and his estate as his family watches helplessly from the sidelines.
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Reply to Geaton777
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