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My Husband did that. Often it was a fairly quiet moan but if he got excited or if I was on the phone it would get louder. Almost like he wanted to join in on the conversation. (My Husband was pretty much non verbal the last 8 years of his life, he maybe spoke 1 or 2 words, rarely a sentence.) I do not like anything in my ears but I did use earplugs once or twice. I had headphones that would pick up TV sounds so I could watch TV and hear what was going on. But I did not like the headphones and resorted to using the CC on the TV (closed caption) I did tell myself that I would miss that noise when he was gone. (and I sometimes do) I know the feeling is a bit different in your case being a MIL and not a spouse. You can't get it to stop, or at least completely. There are medications that help with anxiety that might help. If it gets real loud, leave the room. As long as it is safe to do so. If you can wear earbuds, headphones do so, again as long as it is safe.
Per your profile, your MIL is 91 years old. Can she still enjoy a piece of chewing gum or a hard candy? Will those pose a choking hazard? Or too hard on her teeth and jaw? If not, you can try those to keep her mouth busy, so that she will not moan.
Are there activities that distract her from moaning? Such as watching TV or listening to music?
I'm just throwing out suggestions. Hope you find some ways that will help.
Good and helpful suggestions but likely, as you suggested, candy, etc. would pose too much of a choking hazard.
This is a tough one and most of us would find it unbearable while wondering if there is pain or anything that we can work toward alleviating. I think it's likely just the broken brain's need for stimulus and self-generated as distraction from the loss of other physical and neuro-sensory input. The human brain is so very complex and when broken, almost impossible to discern.
I stopped in the store once, a child and her mom were walking next to us and the little girl asked her mom "Why is that man making sad noises" Her mom sort of tugged at her arm sort of to shush her. I said " He is not sad. His brain does not work as well as yours or mine. Do you have friends in school that have Autism?" When she nodded I said "Do they make noises or hold onto something to help them in class?" and she nodded. I said "He does the same thing, he has Alzheimer's and and this is the way he calms himself. So he is not sad, thank you for being concerned".
So I am sure the noises are self soothing. Watch for other cues for pain. Grimace, wincing, resisting a movement sometimes, a change in the moaning if you try to move her, rubbing an area or guarding an area.
This from the internet: "Nearly all disruptive vocalizations are related to a form of brain injury; most have dementia due to Alzheimer's disease or cerebrovascular disease [ 2, 3 ]. In susceptible persons, vocalizations can be triggered by a variety of stimuli, including the physical environment, stress, anxiety, or caregiver behaviors [ 5 ]."
We aren't even on the cusp of learning what goes on in our poor brains, and especially as they descend into dementia. But this is very common. The verbalizations and even chewing motion, etc. are so common and there honestly is no way of controlling it. I would discuss with her MD. Sometimes very low level doses of anti-depressants can have some effect on repetitive behaviors. This has to be so distressing to you and I am so sorry.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
For no reason?
The moaning is a kind of self-soothing, would be my guess. How about a twiddle blanket or a comfort blanket, have you tried anything like that?
Often it was a fairly quiet moan but if he got excited or if I was on the phone it would get louder. Almost like he wanted to join in on the conversation. (My Husband was pretty much non verbal the last 8 years of his life, he maybe spoke 1 or 2 words, rarely a sentence.)
I do not like anything in my ears but I did use earplugs once or twice.
I had headphones that would pick up TV sounds so I could watch TV and hear what was going on. But I did not like the headphones and resorted to using the CC on the TV (closed caption)
I did tell myself that I would miss that noise when he was gone. (and I sometimes do) I know the feeling is a bit different in your case being a MIL and not a spouse.
You can't get it to stop, or at least completely.
There are medications that help with anxiety that might help.
If it gets real loud, leave the room. As long as it is safe to do so.
If you can wear earbuds, headphones do so, again as long as it is safe.
Are there activities that distract her from moaning? Such as watching TV or listening to music?
I'm just throwing out suggestions. Hope you find some ways that will help.
Good and helpful suggestions but likely, as you suggested, candy, etc. would pose too much of a choking hazard.
This is a tough one and most of us would find it unbearable while wondering if there is pain or anything that we can work toward alleviating. I think it's likely just the broken brain's need for stimulus and self-generated as distraction from the loss of other physical and neuro-sensory input. The human brain is so very complex and when broken, almost impossible to discern.
So I am sure the noises are self soothing.
Watch for other cues for pain.
Grimace, wincing, resisting a movement sometimes, a change in the moaning if you try to move her, rubbing an area or guarding an area.
"Nearly all disruptive vocalizations are related to a form of brain injury; most have dementia due to Alzheimer's disease or cerebrovascular disease [ 2, 3 ]. In susceptible persons, vocalizations can be triggered by a variety of stimuli, including the physical environment, stress, anxiety, or caregiver behaviors [ 5 ]."
We aren't even on the cusp of learning what goes on in our poor brains, and especially as they descend into dementia. But this is very common. The verbalizations and even chewing motion, etc. are so common and there honestly is no way of controlling it. I would discuss with her MD. Sometimes very low level doses of anti-depressants can have some effect on repetitive behaviors. This has to be so distressing to you and I am so sorry.