My mother is a very proud woman. But she is trying to pack and move a 4000 square-foot home into an apartment with very little help. I am unable to help her as I have just had a hip replacement. She has been a member of her church for 30 years. Should I call her church and ask for help even though she is resisting that help?
When emptying out my parents house, neither parent had ever mentioned to me that they are saving this or that for me. I pretty much donated all the furniture that was left in the house, once my Dad choose what he wanted to take to senior living. But he was the type that would have been happy with a cot and sleeping bag :)
Your Mom may feel overwhelmed if the church members come to help, as there will be 101 questions from them "do you want to keep this?" "do your want to keep that"? I remember I got annoyed with my sig-other when he was doing that to me, every few minutes. So, unless your Mom has already set out items to pack, then the church members could help her. Or she may not want the church members to see all of the items.
Added: Could your Mom budget for a moving company? Let the moving company do the packing. I assume she had hired one to do the heavy lifting. I remember moving from a house to another house just around the corner. I thought this would be easy moving all the small stuff. Boy, was I mistaken. I wanted to keep everything, too.
I actually sat my Mom down and started saying want, don't want.
When a house sales, current occupant/s usually have a very short time to get moved since they no longer own the house.
Perhaps communicate only by phone right now. If she does not see you or hear from you about the move (though it's still a worry for you) maybe she will realize sooner rather than later that she can not do it alone.
If you are in contact with her church friends and you explain your reasons for not calling, will they be willing to check on her daily, call her, and encourage her to hire someone to help with the major moving tasks?
Charities pick up good furniture and/or appliances. These items can not be moved by you, your mom, or her friends. While you are still recovering from your surgery, you can do some telephone or on-line work in your own home to locate/communicate with potential help - paid and unpaid - and just not say anything to her until absolutely necessary.