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My friend has lived in my house for 10 plus years. she does not pay rent, but does help out. she had severe trauma in her life, one being sexually abused as a small child for years by her doctor, and a controlling and abusive mother and a physically abusive husband, she has shown severe mental issues. I was told that the P.O.A.'s did not work unless she volunteered to be seen by a doctor, even if she was a danger to herself or others. She became very angry with me and started threatening me, over a course of 2 plus years. i was told the only way to get us help was to take out a temporary order of protection for abuse against her. i was told when the state police came i was to tell them she needed to be taken for a psy. evual. and she would be taken to a hospital. they refused at first and it wasn't till the officer heard her say she wanted to kill herself, that they did. the hospital had a tele health eval. done with her and myself separately with a psy. hospital an hour away. i told them her problems and history but i was told they had determined they would not emit her and get her help since she had dementia and the hospital still 2weeks later won't let me see the report and the head nurse told me i had to take her home, the day after she was admitted. i said no, that it looked like the cancer might have returned and i would know more soon and i had neglected my own health, and i am usually in a wheel chair, i could not take full care for her right now, in my home. my free lawyer for the elderly just keeps saying this is a grey area of law and she does not know what to do. everything she had advised me so do and what would happen so far has been incorrect. the last time i brought my friend some food and flowers the hospital tried to get me to sign some papers, i think it was about getting some one else to be her P.O.A. i don't know who, because i had notified her family and tried to find out some history about her, and if they would take over for me with her, they refused to have anything to do with her or tell me anything and then sent me a registered letter to that affect, and were angry that i had the nerve to annoy them. my free lawyer is not going with me before the judge this Wednesday. she said i had to ask for a perminite restraining order against her or the judge would send her home to live with me with out her getting help or continued help, or a complete diagnosis, or me having any help with her in my home. the lawyer told me that the hospital said she had to go to a nursing home and not an assisted living place, my friend hates nursing homes and misses her dog. also that the medicine they put her on would take about a month to kick in and then i could go back to the judge and get rid of the protection order. i asked the lawyer repeatedly what lawyers i could go to even if not free where i could get some help for us. she did not think it was necessary. she has stated repeatedly judges get mad if people say they were threatened just to evict persons, and anyway i might not be her P.O.A. any more, she could pick some one else. the only thing i get from the hospital is she is no trouble and is alright but does not understand what she did wrong that i put her there. she went in friday night and has been in the E.R. about a week and a half, when they finally gave her a room. the officer when she took my friend away told me not to ask questions she would call me in a few minutes and talk with me but she would be taking her to one of two hospitals. after over 2 hours and no call i tracted down the officer and she had taken my friend to a different hospital then the two she mentioned. please help us with correct info. and some lawyers names. i live in nothern maine. and the hospital she is in now was a hospital i went a while back for myself to the er, who did not have problems with me till they thought i was jewish. also my friend helped get the town manager and police chief jailed where the hearing is .

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If she has been diagnosed with Dementia and declared incompetent, then your POA should be in effect. If Immediate, it was in effect when friend signed it. Read your POA. Do you have Medical too? That may need a Dr declaring her incompetent. Thats the one you need to get medical info.

I think you may be going about this all wrong. Be assertive and tell the Social Worker that your friend cannot come back to your home. Its an "unsafe" discharge because you can not care for her any longer with ur own health problems. Refuse to take her to your house. If I were you, I would give up your POA and allow the State to take over her care. Things will go alot easier if you do. The State will provide her with a Guardian. She will be placed and cared for. Then your responsibility to her will be over. Then u can visit her.

Your lawyer is not going with you! Then cancel the hearing because u have no representation. I really don't see how you can have a restraining order against someone who cannot understand what that means.

Are you asking us for lawyer info? I do think you need a different lawyer but we are a forum of people from all over the US and other countries. There is no way, unless one of us lives in Maine, that we can help. Call your County Office of Aging and see if they know of a lawyer. I really don't think you need one, though. Like I said tell the SW you cannot and will not take her home. You are willing to give up your POA so the State can step in.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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To be quite honest, when an attorney tells you that there is nothing that he/she can do, I don't see how you can proceed at all.
I would resign the POA with the help of Adult Protective Services and not allow a discharge to my home of a person I am unable to care for. Clearly she is too ill to be in your care. If APS refuses to intervene I would simply refuse to speak with anyone about discharge back to your home.

I doubt that your POA is any good for anything at all, because it seems that the attorney/hospital are not saying you can use said POA to direct any care, diagnosis or placement.
Last ditch efford I would see an attorney to resign any extant POA and I would evict this woman; the judge can be as "mad" as he/she wishes to be.

I would tell any social workers who call that you cannot allow this person back into your home, that she frightens you and you are unable to care for her. Your home is not a care facility.

I think that what is clear from all your wrote us is that you cannot care for this friend now anymore. You will need to make that clear to anyone who thinks she is safe to discharge home alone.
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