He is living under her roof, not paying utilities, using her for taking care of my brothers 6 year old hyperactive son. Doesn't help her with household chores and financially provides for my brother's 6 year old son. My mother shops, cooks all the meals and never gets help from my live in brother.
Obviously your brother doesn't care about his son or mom, it is a dangerous situation for both of them to be in. We just had a grandma shoot and kill her 8 year old twin grandsons. Her friends said that something must have snapped from all the strain and stress of caring for these little boys, because she loved them and they can't imagine that she would hurt them.
It doesn't matter if your brother has POA, he is financially exploiting your mom. Not paying his way living in her home is proof. Then using her up as babysitter, poor lady.
I hope that you rescue her soon. Don't give up, keep calling and filing complaints, they have to investigate. Be sure mom will tell them the truth or it won't go anywhere.
Best of luck.
So you don't live near her, is that correct?
If you don't, here's what I I would do.
I would call Adult Protective Services and the local police, I would explain her fear of retaliation from her son and everything else you have shared. Tell them that you need help, helping her because of her frail health you don't know what to do. Be calm and have notes in front of you to stay on point. Be diligent, keep calling and asking for help until you get it. Be sure and let them know that she is in real danger from this yahoo, which is true if he is doing the things you say. I would also tell them that she feels suicidal about it all.
I am sorry for your mom. No one deserves to be abused but especially a 80 year old woman.
Your brothers trip may be the perfect time to get help. He won't be able to abuse her or try to intimidate her or his son to lie.
Can you record your conversations with her? This may help get him dealt with.
However, be sure that all of this is real and not her dementia talking.
Can you get her to her doctor? If her health is that bad, she must go to a doctor pretty regularly. Tell her doctor what you’ve told us and that you suspect abuse. In addition to APS you can also contact Child Protective Services. What he’s doing by leaving his child with her could be seen as neglect and possibly even abandonment. And, if he has POA and is spending her money on himself, that’s fraud. Get an attorney and make your brother account for the expenses.
There are local people you can contact for help. But as Isthisreallyreal writes, if she won’t admit to what’s going on, helping her will be darned near impossible.