My mother has 7 living children who are all doing well with the exception of 1 daughter whom she wants to leave the house. I am honoring my mothers wishes to help her update the will. Not all the daughters agree with my mothers decision. My mother is of sound mind. I need some advice please. Thank you
If the 1 not-doing-well daughter inherits the house, will she be able to afford it? There are taxes, insurance, upkeep and repairs. We just got done paying a $2K surprise plumbing bill because of a rootball that grew into a main sewer line and was backing up into the basement. Will she inherit the house just to have to sell it, or lose it? This reality needs to be considered. My son paid a $3k plumbing bill on an older home be bought 2 years ago. Spending money on a home is constant.
Your Mom may eventually need more care than her family is willing and able to give and selling her home would get her an appropriate level of care. Many seniors have this to fall back on. Anticipation of inheritances can cause adult children to make some poor care decisions for their parents.
And, if your Mom ever needs Medicaid for pay for any LTC (which many elders do need eventually) then Medicaid will put a lien on the house so that even if this daughter inherits it, she will need to first pay off the lien to get ownership. This also needs to be considered.
Your Mom needs to make a rational decision, not an emotional one. It's her money, she can do what she wants, but there are always "downstream" consequences to any 1 decision. Maybe it would be better to have the Executor sell the house and evenly distribute the procedes. I would never recommend she split the house ownership into 7.
A 20 year old will should have been updated anyway long ago, so make that lawyer appointment today.
She has chosen to give her remaining assets to the child she sees as being in the most need of them.
Whether that is "right" or "wrong" is not my decision to make, nor yours, nor the other sibling's.
Stay out of it.
If your mother is of sound mind she is capable of contacting her own attorney and doing her own will. It's too bad she has involved you all to this extent instead of doing it herself. Any attorney can assist her with drawing up in her will her wishes and her reasons to be read after her death.
Everyone can go nuts at that time; she will be dead and uneffected.
A friend or neighbor of your mom can drive her the a lawyer's office, if that's what she wants. Anyone who goes there with her should be prepared to sit in the waiting room, because a lawyer will want to question mom extensively about her intent and capability. The lawyer will want to ensure that mom isn't being coerced. Personally, I wouldn't want to be within 10 miles of such an appointment if she were my mom! It's her circus and her monkeys. Let her be the sole ringmaster.
You state you are honoring your mothers wishes. How so? Driving to the attorney so she can update the will? Does this update benefit you? And if not, Why doesn't your mother ask the one she is going to leave the house to drive her. After all the one benefiting should do the grunt work as well and all those not involved with the directive should stay out of that business regardless of honoring a wish. That is my advice.
Jassy
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