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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Sometimes older sheets will pill and cause a scratcy feeling. If nothing is wrong or if whatever is wrong is corrected, tell your mother the machine has been serviced and cleaned thoroughly and all the "grit" is gone, or some similar story. My grand m-i-l consistantly complained that one of her live flowers exploded with stickers, which flew into her chin. (May have been chin hairs?) I used tweezers to gently scrape her chin in the particular spot and purposely gently pressed inward to mimic grabbing a chin hair, then victoriously pretended to jerk the "sticker" out of her chin and exclaim "Got it!" Never another complaint about stickers. We must live in their world.
Seems like she having a sensation of something irritating her skin. Try changing laundry soap, fabric softener and her personal hygiene products to ones for sensitive skin. Also consider getting her skin lotion with high fat content since senior skin tends to be thinner, less sebum (skin lubricant), and easily irritated.
Could it be a laundry soap or roughness of the sheets, or the thinning of the sheets so that she can feel what is under her? I'm sensitive to certain laundry soaps which make my skin extra itchy or a burning sensation (no visible symptoms).
Can you wash her sheets in a different soap or better, use a set of sheets that she would not normally have on her bed and see what she says? Maybe she is just feeling the normal "wear" of her sheets...
Some really good answers from others already. Another anecdote about my mother who had dementia, she swore there were so many ants on the floor and ground that she couldn't walk without getting stung. There were no ants. Turns out she was wearing shoes without socks (she had disposed of all socks) and her feet had sores from rubbing on her shoes. That's what was causing the "stings." Point being that what your mom may be feeling as "grit" may actually from dry hands, split fingertips, rough nails, or the like. Just a thought.
I totally understand the obsessive parts of dementia as we experience it from time to time with our Mother who lives with us (98). Seems like the obsessive issue rotate like old tv reruns. We have: going through her “stuff” by her chair to make sure she gets it all when she goes home; thinking all her family that are dead were killed by someone and had one big funeral, going to visit her parents, needing to sell her two houses and two cars (there are none); thinking her son who lives elsewhere is evil, etc. We have become expert at totally changing the subject, keeping reminders out of site, or providing an activity that gets her mind off the obsession. That is all you can do. Learn to use your voice, expressions and a change of activity to move the thoughts into the past. After a while you become so natural at it and your LO will benefit from a more positive experience. Just hand her a cookie, or a magazine, or two magnets to examine, a plant to look at, putty to mash, a walk, ask if she needs a blanket and if she is cold, a look out the window, a tv show, etc. It really takes so little to move the mind onto something else. Don’t engage with her in the obsession. Don’t try to argue. Making sense is gone so you will get nowhere.
With aging, dry eyes is also possible. Despite having regular eye exams, my 95yo mother was convinced she needed glasses. The eye Dr told us she has extremely dry eyes and nothing but drops and ointment would help. She kept them beside her and asked for them every 10 minutes as she would forget she just put them in. I finally got them out of her sight and offered every 1.5 hours for awhile. Eventually she stopped asking, though we still give her drops a couple times a day. She was convinced it was glasses she needed when I believe it was the lint from the Kleenex. She’s addicted to Kleenex so I try to buy the type with less lint.
It's normal for the elderly to be more sensitive. Have you tried changing the detergent to a liquid sensitive brand without dyes? Is there any type of rash? How about changing the detergent and washing them in a different machine? If that fails, you can tell her that it wasn't washed in her machine and there's nothing anyone can do. She could be right and you can't see or feel it like her. Quick story... mom's washer wasn't draining properly. Open the filter and some lint &dirt, but there was a teaspoon stuck in the pipe leading to the draining hose! How did the teaspoon get down there? You'd think that it would just lay in the bottom of the washer. I had to pull it out of there with a pair of pliers. These seniors, lol. You never know what they'll do next.
I would tell her that you and others have examined the machine and clothing and can find nothing. I would tell her that it is normal to have hypersensitive skin in aging, so not her fault. And I would now be watching carefully, because it is sounding like this may be the beginning of a downward trajectory you need to keep an eye on for her safety.
If your Mom has cognitive impairment there may be no "convincing" her of anything since it has nothing to do with logic, reason, reality, etc. Even if you don't think your Mom has dementia, it can start at some point and manifest in a variety of ways.
You can try to implement a therapeutic fib: "The repairment was here to make sure that no grit is in it." or "I bought brand-new sheets that won't have any grit in them" (and hand her sheets that are in some sort of packaging.
You can also choose to redirect the conversation whenever it comes up or ignore it completely by pretending you're getting "an important phone call" and leaving the room. You will need to consistently not entertain this delusion or it will just waste your time. There's no fixing a delusion. You need to create your own work-around.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Can you wash her sheets in a different soap or better, use a set of sheets that she would not normally have on her bed and see what she says? Maybe she is just feeling the normal "wear" of her sheets...
Quick story... mom's washer wasn't draining properly. Open the filter and some lint &dirt, but there was a teaspoon stuck in the pipe leading to the draining hose! How did the teaspoon get down there? You'd think that it would just lay in the bottom of the washer. I had to pull it out of there with a pair of pliers. These seniors, lol. You never know what they'll do next.
And I would now be watching carefully, because it is sounding like this may be the beginning of a downward trajectory you need to keep an eye on for her safety.
You can try to implement a therapeutic fib: "The repairment was here to make sure that no grit is in it." or "I bought brand-new sheets that won't have any grit in them" (and hand her sheets that are in some sort of packaging.
You can also choose to redirect the conversation whenever it comes up or ignore it completely by pretending you're getting "an important phone call" and leaving the room. You will need to consistently not entertain this delusion or it will just waste your time. There's no fixing a delusion. You need to create your own work-around.