My 94 year old father is in assisted living. They have healthy meals 3 times a day. My dad loves breakfast and says that is all that keeps him going. He refuses to eat whatever they serve for lunch or dinner. He will go back to his room and drink Ensure and eat a banana and anything sweet he can get his hands on. He has always been a picky eater but it's gotten worse lately. Could this be a natural part of aging that makes him not want real food? He loves anything sweet and I cannot keep enough sweets in his room. On the other hand, he complains that he can't eat anything they serve for lunch or dinner.
If I were you, I'd be grateful that he drinks an Ensure and eats a banana.
That is good (enough) nutrition.
Many factors possibly involved:
- digestion / body functions changing
- taste buds changing
- doesn't care any more about eating healthy
- you can always try to provide something like a brownie with raisons, almonds or some other healthier items in it - add peanut butter.
- could be how his brain is changing / dementia - since he says he can't eat what they serve him at lunch or dinner.
- If it were my dad, I'd bring him anything he wants. I did for my companion - friend in a nursing home. pizza, desserts (from Whole Foods), sushi... whatever he wanted.
It is my opinion that at his age, it doesn't matter what or how he eats. As long as he enjoys it.
Gena / touch matters
That said - Sweets can provide Emotional Comfort
If i'm to be honest (and i will :-) ) i turn to something sugary when i'm stressed or need energy. Is he sleeping ok? Address with doctor if not.
but becoming aware of this tendency I try and swap for healthier options.
Also - to check out teeth - dentures may squeeze - general tooth issues?
I read many years ago and i think for me it was true that our bodies can mistake thirst for hunger - so that could be happening. Is he drinking enough water. Sometimes its merely habit that needs to be slowly changed to healthier options. Berries are excellent - they can be mixed with yogurt - honey instead of sugar sort of thing. Be aware that fruit contain high levels of sugar hence why i mentioned berries best. And lastly - maybe a vitamin/tonic.
Some reading for you:
People crave sugar for a variety of reasons, which can be both physiological and psychological:
Biological Factors: Consuming sugar stimulates the release of dopamine in the brain, creating feelings of pleasure and reward. This can lead to repeated cravings as our brains seek that pleasurable experience.
Energy Source: Sugar is a quick source of energy, and the body may crave sugar when it needs a fast boost. Blood sugar levels can drop after not eating or following a low-carbohydrate diet, prompting cravings for sugary foods.
Emotional Eating: Many individuals associate sugar with comfort and reward, frequently turning to sweet foods during stress, sadness, or celebrations. This emotional connection can strengthen cravings when seeking solace or happiness.
Habitual Consumption: Regular intake of sugary foods can contribute to habitual cravings. The more sugar you consume, the more your body can get used to it, leading to increased cravings over time.
Environmental Cues: Marketing, social settings, and availability of sugary foods can trigger cravings. For instance, seeing advertisements or being around others who are consuming sweets can prompt a desire for sugar.
Nutritional Deficiency: Sometimes, cravings for sugar can be a sign of nutrient deficiencies, where the body may signal a need for quick energy sources.
Hormones: Hormonal fluctuations, men have them as well and, can affect cravings for sugar.
Understanding these factors can help individuals manage sugar cravings by finding healthier substitutes, employing mindful eating practices, and addressing emotional eating patterns.
For example: If your Dad is eating bacon and toast with jelly in the morning, that's the salty and sweet.
Assisted Living usually has a short menu of choices for meals. (At least my Mom's AL community did)
See what they are offering. Maybe have a meal there (my Mom's AL let a family member eat a meal there and billed the meal to her monthly bill). Maybe the food is bland because some residents may have salt restrictions and they figure those who want salt will add it to their food.
Ask your Dad specifically why he doesn't like the food. You don't say that your Dad has dementia, so I assume he is in regular Assisted Living, not memory care AL. Hopefully he can tell you why the lunch and dinner doesn't thrill him. Sometimes you can make polite suggestions for the kitchen staff/cooks.
But...have you asked him to join you for lunch or dinner at the facility?
Say...Dad, How about if I join you for lunch next Saturday. this does a few things.
Lets you know what type of meal they serve and if it is any good.
You joining him might encourage him to eat at least that once.
Gives you a chance to see how meals are served and what the dynamics are in the dining room.
I have a friend that is in an Independent Living facility and I swear that it is like High School all over again. There are cliques, there is the "cool group", the "chatty group", the "fancy group" and so on and heaven forbid you sit down at the table that so and so ALWAYS sits at with her group. It is rather amusing to watch.
At least he's eating breakfast and an Ensure. He will get enough nutrition even if it's not an ideal diet.
I am teasing you, but I seriously would not meddle in the food choices of someone 94.
Leave him be. As a retired RN I can tell you that MOST people in their 90s eat only one meal a day, and that sustains their needed level of activities. It is amazing how little it takes to keep us going.
And of course, no matter our food choices, we will none of us live forever.
Best out to you. Do all you can in the coming year to give your beloved father HIS OWN CHOICES in life whenever you can. Old age is such a time of loss piled upon loss (I guarantee you as an 82 year old). So you want him to have his own choices without your input whenever he is able, and this food choice is one of those times, imho.
Let him eat whatever he wants, he has earned the right!
Is it possible that it's not just about sweets but that he is having trouble eating? As their dementia progresses many people find it difficult to chew and swallow (dysphagia) and typical breakfast foods are often softer and easier.
I mean he is 94 years old and he now deserves to eat what he wants and if he wants.
No one better try telling me what I should be eating at that age. In fact, no one better tell me now at 65 what I should or shouldn't be eating. We will all have to live with the choices that we make.
And what's the worst that will happen to your father by just eating sweets, other than him enjoying himself and maybe dying a year or 2 earlier?
I've shared this true story on this forum several times now but I will share it again. One of the ladies in my caregiver support groups mom(who had dementia)lived to be 103, and only ate ice-cream and cashews for the last 5 years of her life.
That to me sounds like the perfect diet to enjoy the last years of ones life, don't you think?
I figured at their age, if they want ice cream for breakfast, you ask if they want one scoop or two.
I remember my Mom's grocery list. Each week she had ice cream, Little Debbies, Hostess, bakery made pie or cake, Pepperidge Farm cookies (soft), chocolate chip muffins, along with a chicken or hamburger, and frozen veggies.