Hello. My father (79) has had dementia for a few years now, but only in the last few months he has become worse. He gets old memories confused and tells us things that happened in his past we know are not true. He has also become progressively more agitated and adamant about things.
A couple of days ago he more or less snapped. He called me in the afternoon and told me he could not do it any longer. He was very agitated and angry, almost manic when he called. I asked him what he meant, and he said, "your mother! I can't do it any more! She's been lying to me and doing things behind my back!" He then went on to tell me what she has done to him (like moving money to a separate savings account she opened), none of which are true. He then said, "I'm leaving!" And he left their home.
I found out later he went to get a hotel room. Mom did not know he had left. She can't be left alone for too long as she has a history of seizures and falling. She knew he was upset, but not to this extent. He returned home the next day, but will not have anything to do with her. He has basically said that he wants to live alone now. Mom knows not to cross him, so she is playing it cool for now.
I live 6 hours away and I am going to get her to bring her to my house for a visit for a few days, depending. I want to make sure she is safe and provided for. As for my dad, I'm not sure what to do at this point.
Anyone else have any experience with a situation like this? Any advice would be welcome!
I have no idea who their doctors are as they never tell me anything regarding their health. I have no idea what or how many medications they are on. Mom is now open to telling me about these things and the next step in my plan is to contact their doctors. Right now I am just trying to diffuse a tense situation and bring as much peace as I can so they don't overreact and my dad do something crazy again.
My mom knows her coming here is temporary. She has already told me she wants to live in an assisted living facility so she can socialize and get the care she knows she needs. My dad would never talk about the future at all.
Again, I thank you all for taking the time to respond to my question.
Also, yes, as others have said, he can't be driving in this condition.
I'm sorry you're facing this challenge, especially from afar and so suddenly.
Best of luck.
If you take mom into your home for any reason, she may be there for life. Think very carefully about that! It rarely works out well for both, and you may not be able to sustain the care she needs for the long term. If I were you, I would be gathering info for care facilities because that seems to be what they both need NOW, not in some hopeful distant tomorrow. Sorry, OP. No one likes being in these situations.