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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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You can't really 'do' anything if dad is refusing to see you. You can visit him from afar by going to the facility and watching him without his knowledge. Check with the nurse when you get there to see what kind of mood he's in, and if he's receptive to seeing you. Play it by ear, in other words, to determine whether or not you should let him know you're there. Dementia brings lots of moods with it, so you never know what you'll find, or what's 'normal', except that everything is chaotic and ABnormal. I never knew what I'd find when going to see my mother who we thought had vascular dementia. Sometimes she was fit to be tied while other times she was docile and happy to see me.
If you wind up going and find cussing and threatening dad, just leave and tell him you love him in spite of his rancid behavior. Tell him to let you know when HE'D like you to come back for a visit! That's what I'd tell my mom when she was in a particularly crappy mood.
Good luck; I know how dreadful this whole disease truly is. Sending you a hug and a prayer for peace.
Thank you! That is exactly what I am trying to do. When he does call with his accusations and verbal assault (ugh), I tell him I love him and bye. I try to visit, but if he want let me in I try to not get upset. It is the hardest thing I have ever experienced. The constant distrust and accusations are so hard to deal with. He goes from telling me how much he appreciates me to accusing me of stealing all his money! Life is hard.
Nothing you can do except stop visiting him and do not answer his calls. If he doesn't want to have a relationship with you there is no sense in trying to pursue one.
If you do decide to be abused when he starts on the phone, hang up, when you visit if he starts leave and don't answer the phone or visit him for a period of time.
Welcome to the world of Dementia, and yes this is normal.
"Lewy bodies affect several different brain regions in LBD: the cerebral cortex, which controls many functions, including information processing, perception, thought, and language. the limbic cortex, which plays a major role in emotions and behavior. the hippocampus, which is essential to forming new memories."
Lewy body as you see plays with the persons emotions. Is Dad medicated for his symptoms? You are going to need to learn to go with the flow and except that the person you knew is drifting away. His brain is dying. Eventually, he will need more than an AL can give him when it comes to care.
There is nothing you can do to argue with a disease that involves dementia. Of all the dementia's Lewy's seems often to have the most volatile ups and downs. Call Dad and ask if he's up for a visit. If he is not, that frees your day for your own life. I am glad he is in care. Forcing, arguing, explaining-----? None of that will work. Just get on with your life the best you can, knowing this is not Dad, but the disease talking. I sure am sorry you're going through this and wish you the best.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If you wind up going and find cussing and threatening dad, just leave and tell him you love him in spite of his rancid behavior. Tell him to let you know when HE'D like you to come back for a visit! That's what I'd tell my mom when she was in a particularly crappy mood.
Good luck; I know how dreadful this whole disease truly is. Sending you a hug and a prayer for peace.
If you do decide to be abused when he starts on the phone, hang up, when you visit if he starts leave and don't answer the phone or visit him for a period of time.
Take back your power.
"Lewy bodies affect several different brain regions in LBD: the cerebral cortex, which controls many functions, including information processing, perception, thought, and language. the limbic cortex, which plays a major role in emotions and behavior. the hippocampus, which is essential to forming new memories."
Lewy body as you see plays with the persons emotions. Is Dad medicated for his symptoms? You are going to need to learn to go with the flow and except that the person you knew is drifting away. His brain is dying. Eventually, he will need more than an AL can give him when it comes to care.
I sure am sorry you're going through this and wish you the best.