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So I’m 24 I live with my father and take care of him I am in the process of becoming his home care taker though an agency the problem I’m having is my dad plans on granting POA to someone that doesn’t have his best interest. A women that has lived with us for over 30yrs that was a friend of my mom is who he is granting poa or she already has it . When my mom died in 2020 she moved out the next year and she takes care of his finances she never shows him his bank statements. My dad wants a Will and she says to me “there won’t be a will “ he’s a veteran and she says the VA will pay for his funeral and she is taking all his policy money what do I need to do ? Also she sent me documents to sign that say they are “prepared by him “ but he didn’t make them.

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Why are you planning on becoming your father's caregiver? Do you not have a job?

Call Adult Protective Services and report financial abuse.
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Bellam222 Oct 2023
Because I live with him and he’s 80 with rheumatoid arthritis and needs someone with him majority of the day. I have a job I’m in college as well. And I’ve done so they came out spoke with him and now in the process of speaking with her
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Legally, she doesn't have to show you the PoA paperwork. Your recourse is to go to an elder law attorney who will send her a letter demanding proof and if she doesn't show it, can lead to her being forced to show it to a judge in court. But then what? If she isn't his PoA and your Dad doesn't have capacity to assign you then you'd have to pursue guardianship through the courts and this is very expensive and time-consuming.

How do you know she's taking all the policy money? Do you mean he made her the beneficiary? A Will won't change this.

"...she takes care of his finances she never shows him his bank statements." If your Dad needs someone to take care of his finances then maybe his memory isn't good enough to know (or remember) if he's seen his statements or not. If he has dementia then this isn't unusual.

"...she sent me documents to sign that say they are “prepared by him “ but he didn’t make them." How do you know this?

If you have so much "proof" of abuse then take it to an attorney to see if you have a winnable case... but if you do -- then what? Are you willing to become his legal guardian?
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I would not care for your Dad if someone else held the POAs, financial and Medical. If your Dad is competent, he can see a lawyer and have her POA revoked and assign u.
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Bellam222 Oct 2023
I kinda agree with this and yes he is still competent he’s fragile and vulnerable behind her back he complains to me and says “I hope she is doing right with my money “ but when he talks to her he doesn’t bring it up. Growing up my mom always was in control and her (which is a white lady and we are a black family ) anytime I ask her how she met my mom it’s always a blank story and she never answers my question she will give me a complete different answer that doesn’t relate to my question
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DAD,
Honestly? You trust Jane over me?

then why did you ask me to take care of you? YOU DO REALIZE JANE is the POA for your health and finances…

if you want me to take care of you, you will need to change your your living trust , so I will have your best interest for your HEALTH N FINANCE. so you need anything in a hurry, I don’t need to bc ask or explain to Jane.

unless dad has siblings or hire a trust attorney let them be his fiduciary.
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Time to consult an elder law attorney about options and costs of options. Your father has a right to choose someone over you if he is competent to do so. Is he?

She has been there 30 years. She is hardly a stranger to him.

Don't sign anything.
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Bellam222 Nov 2023
Yes he’s still competent
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Your response to others state that you are taking care of your dad, working and going to school. How in the world are you going to do all of this?

I understand that you live with your dad and that you care about his needs. I am concerned though that you are stretching yourself too thin. That’s an awful lot on your plate.

Do contact an elder attorney. Make sure that your dad isn’t being deceived by this woman. What is your father’s mental condition?

I find it odd that he doesn’t explain his relationship with this woman to you. You’re his daughter, naturally you are going to be concerned about his well being.

A friend of mine recently lost her godmother. All hell broke loose when her godmother died. My friend is still in shock. Her godmother had two private caregivers who were able to coerce her into signing documents.

The godmother hadn’t made her will yet. She told my friend that she wanted her to inherit everything. She didn’t have children of her own and looked at her godchild as a daughter. Others heard her say this to her goddaughter.

Somehow, the caregivers coerced her godmother into signing documents and then they got everything! I mean everything, her condo, her new car, expensive furniture, her jewelry, etc. Watch your back!

Wishing you and your father all the best.
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Bellam222 Nov 2023
Hi so he has rheumatoid arthritis and kidney disease but he’s still competent he tells me that “this was all your mothers idea” when it comes to his money and the lady being his poa . My mother passed on 2020 he’s never had control of his money. He’s always let my mother be in charge of his money, and this lady that lived with us but what he fails to realize is that she plans on capitalizing off of him he thinks that he will have a will but he’s not going to have one according to her(his poa).
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