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If I had a dollar for everything that my FIL said someone else said (someone he perceived we would think would have some authority over us, after him demanding we do something didn't work) ..in order to try to make us do something that he wanted us to do...I would be a very rich woman.
I would proceed with caution. Unless your father's name is on the deed to your home - no one can force you take him into your home. Unless you are his POA, legally you don't have any responsibility in any way - and even as the POA, you can relinquish that responsibility. Filial laws have given me nightmares because I was terrified that we would somehow become responsible for my FIL's care at some point - but from what I understand they are very rarely invoked - and if your father is genuinely homeless due to need and not choice - chances are probably good he will qualify for Medicaid.
Do your due diligence - I wouldn't sweep it under the rug or laugh it off - but I wouldn't indulge it either. Unless your father and his "lawyer" produce certified legal documentation I would let it ride and have a good attorney name in my back pocket in case it escalates.
Morally - you have zero obligation to help. This is your father's way of suddenly stirring the pot because being homeless is hard for anyone but being homeless and elderly has to be next to impossible. But you didn't do that to him. If he managed to walk into Legal Aid and get some advice - he can be pointed in the direction of other assistance for his situation as well. Or if he used some lawyer friend or some former lawyer friend to try to scare you into helping him - then that's not even anything for you to waste your time on.
Additionally - while not all people who are homeless are also mentally ill - the chances increase exponentially without access to medical care. You have been estranged for a reason. You don't want to open the door to this.
How old is he.? I think your Dad is pulling your leg. If he is homeless, he can't afford a lawyer. Like said, laugh and say right Dad, bye.
He lives in PA so I don't know how NJ filial laws would have anything to do with this. And the law takes in consideration, the finances of a child. You won't be expected to help Dad if you can't afford it. Also, you don't have to take him into ur home. You would just have make sure he has shelter, food and clothing. If that means he gets a HUD apartment and food stamps so be it. This is NJs law...
"New Jersey, like several other states, has filial responsibility laws on its books, which can be enforced when a parent is unable to cover the costs of their care and does not qualify for Medicaid or fails to properly utilize its benefits.May 12, 2023"
PAs laws, I read, are the broadest in the nation...
"The best way to avoid a filial support claim is to make sure your parent qualifies for Medicaid. If Medicaid benefits are available, they are considered payment in full for the parent's care. Consequently, no money is needed from the adult child because the parent's bills are covered in full by Medicaid benefits.Mar 20, 2023"
Only 29 states still have this law. There were set up before welfare and Medicaid and foodstamps. There are programs, depending on Dads age, that he can take advantage of. These laws are rarely enforced. All Dad has to do is go to his County Social Service Dept and ask for help.
I would not see a lawyer until you get a letter from Dads lawyer. No one can force you to take him into ur home. Me, I think I would block Dads calls. Let numbers you don't know go to voicemail. Then tell whomever that you are estranged from Dad and feel no responsibility toward him. There are people on this forum that felt sorry for an estranged parent and got involved and regret it. It would take a letter from a Court or Adult protection for me to get a lawyer involved. Your Dad has options, he needs to pursue them. Remember, ur estranged for a reason.
Nope. There is no reason for you to house your father.
Pennsylvania IS a filial responsibility state If you are fabulously wealthy, the Court might find that you need to arrange for care for your dad and help him get Medicaid.
I have no knowledge of NJ law, but that sounds really unlikely. Does your father have a history of finding good legal advice and reliably communicating it to others?
He isn’t a cotenant on your house title, is he?
If you are going to worry about it, look into NJ filial responsibility law and consult an attorney. However, I doubt that even if he needs support (defined ADL or cognitive deficiencies?), and no exception to you being responsible for supporting him applies (insufficient funds, deadbeat or abusive parent history), that you would have to bring him into your home and provide hands on care. IF there is ANY exposure to financial support liability, I would expect the lawyer to have suggestions.
"He says".. LOL,, you dont know his att, said anything, or if he even has one! You only have his say on this. And no,, you don;t have to. Tell him his attn, can take him in. Tell him your more than willing to let the state take over..
OK, he's dumping his problems on you through his lawyer.
His lawyer can't make you do ANYTHING. Even if you are dad's POA, you can relinquish that.
How is it that dad is homeless yet can afford an attorney?
I would quickly find my own attorney and fight this. People give so much authority to lawyers and since my son is one and he's kind of a jerk a lot of the time, I have lost a great deal of respect for the profession at large.
A good attorney is a great find (like ours). Your dad's sounds fishy to me.
Can you speak to the attorney directly? If you're not open to reconciling your differences with your father, and have no capacity to take him in, care for him and all that his needs entails, say as much to the attorney. No one can force you to care for him.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I would proceed with caution. Unless your father's name is on the deed to your home - no one can force you take him into your home. Unless you are his POA, legally you don't have any responsibility in any way - and even as the POA, you can relinquish that responsibility. Filial laws have given me nightmares because I was terrified that we would somehow become responsible for my FIL's care at some point - but from what I understand they are very rarely invoked - and if your father is genuinely homeless due to need and not choice - chances are probably good he will qualify for Medicaid.
Do your due diligence - I wouldn't sweep it under the rug or laugh it off - but I wouldn't indulge it either. Unless your father and his "lawyer" produce certified legal documentation I would let it ride and have a good attorney name in my back pocket in case it escalates.
Morally - you have zero obligation to help. This is your father's way of suddenly stirring the pot because being homeless is hard for anyone but being homeless and elderly has to be next to impossible. But you didn't do that to him. If he managed to walk into Legal Aid and get some advice - he can be pointed in the direction of other assistance for his situation as well. Or if he used some lawyer friend or some former lawyer friend to try to scare you into helping him - then that's not even anything for you to waste your time on.
Additionally - while not all people who are homeless are also mentally ill - the chances increase exponentially without access to medical care. You have been estranged for a reason. You don't want to open the door to this.
He lives in PA so I don't know how NJ filial laws would have anything to do with this. And the law takes in consideration, the finances of a child. You won't be expected to help Dad if you can't afford it. Also, you don't have to take him into ur home. You would just have make sure he has shelter, food and clothing. If that means he gets a HUD apartment and food stamps so be it. This is NJs law...
"New Jersey, like several other states, has filial responsibility laws on its books, which can be enforced when a parent is unable to cover the costs of their care and does not qualify for Medicaid or fails to properly utilize its benefits.May 12, 2023"
PAs laws, I read, are the broadest in the nation...
"The best way to avoid a filial support claim is to make sure your parent qualifies for Medicaid. If Medicaid benefits are available, they are considered payment in full for the parent's care. Consequently, no money is needed from the adult child because the parent's bills are covered in full by Medicaid benefits.Mar 20, 2023"
Only 29 states still have this law. There were set up before welfare and Medicaid and foodstamps. There are programs, depending on Dads age, that he can take advantage of. These laws are rarely enforced. All Dad has to do is go to his County Social Service Dept and ask for help.
I would not see a lawyer until you get a letter from Dads lawyer. No one can force you to take him into ur home. Me, I think I would block Dads calls. Let numbers you don't know go to voicemail. Then tell whomever that you are estranged from Dad and feel no responsibility toward him. There are people on this forum that felt sorry for an estranged parent and got involved and regret it. It would take a letter from a Court or Adult protection for me to get a lawyer involved. Your Dad has options, he needs to pursue them. Remember, ur estranged for a reason.
"he said.."
Right. After 15yrs the man calls you up & demands to live in your home. He's unstable right?
I would just call him out on his BS.
Pennsylvania IS a filial responsibility state
If you are fabulously wealthy, the Court might find that you need to arrange for care for your dad and help him get Medicaid.
But provide housing and hands on care? Laughable.
He isn’t a cotenant on your house title, is he?
If you are going to worry about it, look into NJ filial responsibility law and consult an attorney. However, I doubt that even if he needs support (defined ADL or cognitive deficiencies?), and no exception to you being responsible for supporting him applies (insufficient funds, deadbeat or abusive parent history), that you would have to bring him into your home and provide hands on care. IF there is ANY exposure to financial support liability, I would expect the lawyer to have suggestions.
Then, I would laugh hysterically and walk away.
Maybe, I would mumble something like, ‘Funny joke, Dad. Thanks for the laugh 😆.’
His lawyer can't make you do ANYTHING. Even if you are dad's POA, you can relinquish that.
How is it that dad is homeless yet can afford an attorney?
I would quickly find my own attorney and fight this. People give so much authority to lawyers and since my son is one and he's kind of a jerk a lot of the time, I have lost a great deal of respect for the profession at large.
A good attorney is a great find (like ours). Your dad's sounds fishy to me.
Also, verify the attorney's license is legit by using state bar data search to see if there's any complaints against him.