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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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If either of you are a veteran, definitely check with your local veteran affairs office. There are resources for a veteran, a veteran's spouse and a caregiver for a veteran.
I’m 72 and also an elder orphan, so I understand how overwhelming it can feel to figure all of this out on your own. These resources have been helpful to me, and I hope they can be useful to you, too.
1. Eldercare Locator The Eldercare Locator is a free national resource connecting older adults with services in their area. Whether you need help finding an elder care attorney, caregiver services, housing options, or other supports, they can point you in the right direction. Website: www.eldercare.acl.gov Phone: (800) 677-1116
2. National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys (NAELA) is a great resource. They have a directory of lawyers that specialize in issues like estate planning, Medicaid, and long term care. Website: www.naela.org
3. Area Agencies on Aging (AAAs) Your local Area Agency on Aging can provide referrals for services like transportation, meal delivery, home modifications, and legal assistance. The Elder Care Locator can help you find your local AAA.
4. BenefitsCheckUp This tool from the National Council on Aging helps older adults find out which benefits they qualify for, including help with healthcare, housing, and food. Website: www.benefitscheck-up.org
5. Legal Aid and Senior Legal Hotlines Many states have free legal aid programs and senior legal hotlines to help older adults with basic legal needs. You can search for these through your state’s bar association or ask your local Area Agency on Aging for guidance.
I hope this helps. We’re not alone, and there are many resources available to support us as we navigate aging without family nearby.
I would put in writing advanced directives about how both of you want end of life to look like for one another. I work in hospice eldercare. Sometimes people have a ton of family but they all left things got so bad. I would put clear instructions for the guardian about going to an adult family home with the last spenddown of $50,000 in cash for both of you, then medicaid if it goes to that. THen spell out what the advanced directives look like. For example I put in mine that if I ever get to late stage dementia, start declining food or water or aspirate that means the body shutting down, just let it happen. If I ever get to the stage of dementia where incontinence, falls, impaired judgment, wandering, elder exploitation begins, violence, etc usually late and final stage 6 or 7 I put in there that if they pass the death with dignity laws in another state for other state residents to choose that while still decisional (and I write this wish while decisional) just take me there for that. We just had a couple in an upscale nice area in memory care where the husband stabbed his wife of 65 years to death at age 87, and completely incompetent, now facing jail time. I don't ever want to become like that, it seems so undignified, they probably pay $20,000 per month for both to go into memory care to have that happen. I have very clear instructions for the slow, painful diseases like dementia or parkinson's and same types of instructions for cancer, or other terminal diagnosis. Sorry to sound so morbid but I work in hospice, which I love the work as we only get one chance to help people have a comfortable end of life experience or death. I have a million stories to tell about that. As a result, I know what I do and don't want for mine. I have written my wishes and boundaries out so that my loved ones (if I am lucky enough to have them still around when this occurs) may carry my wishes out and be at peace with my choices (and would rather my loved ones get any pitily moneys left to them to go live their lives in peace). I have never seen these things handled perfectly but the more functional cases the clear wishes of the loved one or for the guardian always the most functional. Also since you have each other, believe it or not one of my most functional patients involved a case where the husband died of vascular dementia after becoming violent, and his ex wife after he got diagnosed, divorced him per his instructions then put him in a medicaid spenddown community as they had both committed to these plans during the prime of life like in their 50's when both of sound mind, and both had wishes that they would carry this out and vice versa. None of us immune from the ravages of old age upon our bodies and assets, just make sure the assets go into the trust or divorce etc in time, not an attorney but always hear about 5 years.
Many of us with families or kids would not want their help anyway. They often live away as well and lead busy lives. So we are sort of on our own. I would never ask my child for anything! Apart from legalities, consider as women live longer importance of women’s network or having GFs. Some think it will be OK to live together. Not for me.
Consider seeking help from an Independent Advocate. They can provide assistance with medical navigation, advance directives, elder care management etc.
Shoegal100: Same as you, I too am an "elder orphan" but without the blessing of having one soul at my side. I was advised by an organization to find an elder law lawyer, and wonder if you might not want to try it? I'm in the middle of trying to find one near me though it's difficult and time consuming :). If you are familiar with the elder law and already have an elder law law lawyer with whom you both are very happy, would you kindly send me her/his contact please?
shoegal00: Your town's Council on Aging should be a good starting point. My mother benefited greatly from her's. She was a legally blind woman living alone till the age of 94 when I had to move in with her from out of state only because her blood pressure plummeted.
"A Place For Mom" was mentioned earlier. I'm not going to say they aren't a good resource, but keep in mind that they may not point you to the most economical options. Also, check into adult family homes....residential houses where only 5 or 6 residents are, with 1 or 2 caretakers. Many of these will allow folks to "age in place", self-paying for 2 or 3 years, then transitioning to Medicaid. In my experience (with my dad, who had dementia) this is a more affordable option.
It is good that you are thinking about this now. Planning is everything. Read, get professional advice, evaluate your finances and personal resources. Then, make the best plan you can and be prepared to alter it as needed. Don’t wait until it is an emergency.
My husband and I are both elder orphans, both sets of parents, grandparents, aunts & uncles all passed away.Are there any resources available to us? We are 73, my husband is disabled?
Dave1951: obviously family that were a generation older than those of us in our 70’s have either died or if still alive are likely unable to look after anyone including family. But as recommended to OP, make appointment with a lawyer that specializes in Elder Law. Some may offer a free one time consultation. Search for local senior services in your area on the internet - then call them. Your husband is disabled? Contact services for disabled seniors.
I sure understand your concerns - im not even married! totally on my own so - I have an elder lawyer who drew up a will. I will do a trust a bit later to make sure no one can fight with my will/decisions but it costs about 3k. Get a hold of your states "office on aging" and they'll have lots of help available. a place for mom is good with videos/info and help you think about assisted living in later years - I'm definitely doing that in a resort style community in Washington or California. And AARP is really a WONDERFUL resource! I've been getting the magazine for 15 years (now almost 65) and it's a really good read with tips you would have never thought of. I never would have been as prepared as I am without AARP. also strongly consider your place of residence. some states definitely give elderly folks marvelous care whereas other states will let you "slide." With the political divide I'm moving!!!! Start with your states office on aging and they'll send you lots of stuff to go through right away. Good luck!!
Please plan your future now. I will be also since I have no children or close relatives. The court will appoint a Guardianship to someone, but I would start thinking about downsizing and moving to a an apartment for seniors. Have an Estate Plan drawn up by an Elder Care Attorney. Good for you to think about this now!
Sure! It depends what you are looking for. You don't need family members to take care of you, should the need arise.
If you have a home and some money, you can consider selling your home and moving to an assisted living apartment. You can live independently among other elders, often with communal meals and activities, along with competent nursing assistance as needed. That's pretty expensive.
If you lack the funds for such luxury, you may qualify for medicaid assistance and have options for Home and Community Based Services. I believe every state offers some variation of this.
As Gaeton pointed out, you should meet with an elder law attorney and appoint someone you trust to be your POA when you are unable to make decisions or manage your financial matters, as well as having an Authorized Medical Representative, that is, someone who can make medical decisions on your behalf if you are unable. You can also make written instructions as to what you do wish in certain conditions, such as what life-saving and life support systems you do or do not want. A trusted friend, neighbor, or a young person who is like a son or daughter to you is an ideal choice. Although, you can find a professional to fill that role, such as an accountant or attorney to manage legal and financial matters on your behalf.
We just had our Wills and Trusts updated and since we are also elder orphans have designated the attorney as our executor for the "last one standing." We have each other as the primary executor and health care proxy but one of us will go before the other unless there is a car accident. Of course, they charge for this - clearing out a home, making arrangements for cremation etc.
First and foremost you both will need to figure out who will be your Power of Attorney (and it cannot be each other, it needs to be someone significantly younger than yourself, local, competent and willing).
This would be a discussion with a certified elder law attorney (CELA). I have a form that names a legal guardian of my choosing, should the situation turn out like that (otherwise you will be court-ordered a 3rd party guardian by a judge).
You should consider transitioning yourselves into a senior community that has a continuum of care. Without family, there won't be anyone to legally be able to get you proper care so you will need to plan to move *before* you think you "need" it. This will also mean figuring out your finances to pay for such care. The reality is, without family to help, you won't be able to age-in-place in your home for long. Also, the cost of hiring out help is outrageous anymore (not to mention trying find the help in the first place).
Also consider hiring a Geriatric Care Manager for your medical needs.
What type of resources are you looking for? Your local Senior Service Center might have programs that could help you if you need help. they probably are looking for Volunteers is you are looking for something to do. But a bit more info might help get you some better answers.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I’m 72 and also an elder orphan, so I understand how overwhelming it can feel to figure all of this out on your own. These resources have been helpful to me, and I hope they can be useful to you, too.
1. Eldercare Locator
The Eldercare Locator is a free national resource connecting older adults with services in their area. Whether you need help finding an elder care attorney, caregiver services, housing options, or other supports, they can point you in the right direction.
Website: www.eldercare.acl.gov
Phone: (800) 677-1116
2. National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys (NAELA) is a great resource. They have a directory of lawyers that specialize in issues like estate planning, Medicaid, and long term care.
Website: www.naela.org
3. Area Agencies on Aging (AAAs)
Your local Area Agency on Aging can provide referrals for services like transportation, meal delivery, home modifications, and legal assistance. The Elder Care Locator can help you find your local AAA.
4. BenefitsCheckUp
This tool from the National Council on Aging helps older adults find out which benefits they qualify for, including help with healthcare, housing, and food.
Website: www.benefitscheck-up.org
5. Legal Aid and Senior Legal Hotlines
Many states have free legal aid programs and senior legal hotlines to help older adults with basic legal needs. You can search for these through your state’s bar association or ask your local Area Agency on Aging for guidance.
I hope this helps. We’re not alone, and there are many resources available to support us as we navigate aging without family nearby.
So we are sort of on our own. I would never ask my child for anything!
Apart from legalities, consider as women live longer importance of women’s network or having GFs.
Some think it will be OK to live together. Not for me.
You don't need family members to take care of you, should the need arise.
If you have a home and some money, you can consider selling your home and moving to an assisted living apartment. You can live independently among other elders, often with communal meals and activities, along with competent nursing assistance as needed. That's pretty expensive.
If you lack the funds for such luxury, you may qualify for medicaid assistance and have options for Home and Community Based Services. I believe every state offers some variation of this.
As Gaeton pointed out, you should meet with an elder law attorney and appoint someone you trust to be your POA when you are unable to make decisions or manage your financial matters, as well as having an Authorized Medical Representative, that is, someone who can make medical decisions on your behalf if you are unable. You can also make written instructions as to what you do wish in certain conditions, such as what life-saving and life support systems you do or do not want.
A trusted friend, neighbor, or a young person who is like a son or daughter to you is an ideal choice. Although, you can find a professional to fill that role, such as an accountant or attorney to manage legal and financial matters on your behalf.
This would be a discussion with a certified elder law attorney (CELA). I have a form that names a legal guardian of my choosing, should the situation turn out like that (otherwise you will be court-ordered a 3rd party guardian by a judge).
You should consider transitioning yourselves into a senior community that has a continuum of care. Without family, there won't be anyone to legally be able to get you proper care so you will need to plan to move *before* you think you "need" it. This will also mean figuring out your finances to pay for such care. The reality is, without family to help, you won't be able to age-in-place in your home for long. Also, the cost of hiring out help is outrageous anymore (not to mention trying find the help in the first place).
Also consider hiring a Geriatric Care Manager for your medical needs.
Help?
Companions?
Hope you will give us details so we can respond.
Your local Senior Service Center might have programs that could help you if you need help. they probably are looking for Volunteers is you are looking for something to do.
But a bit more info might help get you some better answers.