He’s only had one episode of incontinence. My problem now is aggressive outbursts, telling me to get out, swearing banging his walker against walls, talking to himself mostly saying disparaging comments about me. Very upsetting and wears me down . Any suggestions on how to handle it?
You are entering now later stages in which the incontinence for certain will become much more prevalent. The outburst may as well, and he may require medication. When you enter pill-land-ia there are the problems of side effects, too much sleepiness, more frequent falls and etc.
The sad truth is that you already KNOW more tricks than all of us put together after giving nine years of care. If they aren't working I think you may understand that the time may be coming when you cannot no longer manage at home giving care that really requires several shifts with several people on each to do the care.
I am so very sorry.
I don't have any answers but let me know if you find some? It's only been a little less than 2 years of me dealing with my husband cognitive issues, moods and his incontinence . Telling me I have a boyfriend and giving away all his things and money to this imaginary person. Im totally drained and at my wits end on what to do. I don't get much sleep because when he is sleeping is my only quiet time to myself and I use that time to cry and worry. Typically from 3am-6am. His stroke neurologist won't give him mood stabilizer meds because it will be harmful for his kidney transplant
Also, do you have a helper who comes in sometimes so that you can get a break? This is really important for your own mental health, to be able to get of the house on your own for a bit.
good luck!