She's been getting worse, literally BY THE DAY, that there are people, or a person, hiding in our backyard, or near our wall, and WON'T take my answer that, NO, there's no one there (even after she's concerned me enough that I've gone out with one of my two FIREARMS) only to find that she's imagined the whole thing!!! Today, JUST TODAY, she's alerted me FOUR TIMES already!!!! What can I do? HOW can I deal with THIS? WHAT do I say to her aside from already going out to "look" for these imagined intruders (again, FOUR times just today!)??? Please help me!!!
I hope you are finding some useful strategies here. We are all wishing you the best!
When you say she alerted you - does that mean you are in the home w/her or she is calling you at a different location. If you're there, try to change conversation or agree and give reason they 'intruders' are there. If you're not there, she may no longer be able to live alone.
A woman's husband said he couldn't use the bathroom because of the people in it. His wife went in and politely but loudly told "them" they would have to leave now, Paul needed the bathroom, then accompanied them to the door with "have a nice day"and other cordialities, then shut the door behind them and said OK honey, it's all yours.
Have not had that problem with my spouse but if it arises I will try to be as ingenious as they were, take their advice and never argue and try to come up with great explanations for what he thinks he's seeing.
Next Watch Teepa Snow videos on YouTube. She is an expert speaker working with dementia patients. Search for her videos on working with hallucinating patients. Watch all her videos they are the best help!
Check with her pharmacist to make sure this is not from new meds or med related.
Distract by seeing if she can help in the house with folding towels etc, dusting etc
Best of luck, now go watch Teepa!😊
I believe there’s even a black box warning, however I’ve now had 2 psychiatrists and a neuropsyche doctor keep my LO on that medication with full knowledge of warning. Ya have to wonder sometimes what’s the lesser of two evils.
She too has delusions, and was in psychosis, and she’d tell me about 3 men that were around her house.
Literally so so many different stories such as that.
Finally I got her to a mental health crisis center, and the Psychiatrist asked her if she wanted to come back to reality. My LO said yes so the Dr placed her on an Anti-Psychotic medication Risperdone.
Within days she came out of her delusions.
Eventually I got her to a Neurologist he prescribed dementia medication Namenda, and eventually added Ariceft and I finally got her to a permanent psychiatrist Dr who immediately took her off the anti-psychotic Risperdone that the earlier crisis psychiatrist placed her on. The new psyche Dr placed her on Trileptal for mood stabilization as well as an anti depressant medicine Lexapro and she was semi ok for about a year but then stopped taking her meds, or would just screw up her pill box.
To make a very long long story short she ended up once again in a constant deluded state from October to July, I couldn’t get the psychiatrist to place her back on a anti psychotic medication but instead he filled out lengthy paperwork stating she needed to be placed in a 24-7 secured facility.
She fell in June and broke her hip, she was so out of her mind, fortunately the hospital psychiatrist placed her on the anti psychotic medication Zyprexa and there was a wonderful Social Worker at the hospital who understood what was going too so a few days after hip surgery she was sent to a nursing home for Long Term Custodial Care, and rehab in the hip.
While there she was evaluated by a Neuropsych Dr., and then a few days later a Psychiatrist came in to also evaluate her. Both Dr’s stated she has Lack Of Capacity, and is now living in a Skilled Nursing Facility on there Residential side. She will never be able to live alone again, and I personally believe because she was left in such a psychotic state for so long that this in itself did some additional permanent damage.
Her dementia is getting much worse too and shes been in the nursing home for almost 3 months now, and has not once asked me about her home, her stuff or her cat not anything! It’s very sad, but I’m relieved she is safe and getting the level of care she needs.
My LO is only 67 years old.
So if I have any advice for you I’d say get her to a Dr to get the necessary medication to get her out of her deluded state, that’s of course if she doesn’t just have a UTI. Obviously It would be better if she just has a UTI.
One thing I used to say to my LO when she’d tell me crazy things like men are outside her home is that it must be frightening for her to feel unsafe., and then just assure her that you believe that she believes that ppl are outside but you are protecting her.
But don’t say mom there’s nobody out there.
Cuz trust me you’ll never get her to believe you. These are fixed beliefs in her mind and nothing you say will take them away.
Best to redirect her thoughts to something else .. like Mom it’s Tuesday ice cream day are you ready for your ice cream cone.
Anyway, good luck to you.
Agree also that you really cannot convince her that these are hallucinations. To her they are real. I do like MountainMoose's solution - play along with the 'game', or DareDiffer's suggestion that they are security you hired to keep people out of the yard. Inconvenient as it might be, going out to "check" and "shoo" them away when she says they are there might work too. Sounds like this is daytime, which would be easier than at night! If you can use something else as a "weapon", not the guns, it might reinforce that you are "handling" the intruders. Whatever works (arguing, explaining, trying to convince her with words is the least likely to work.)
One thing that helped with my mom was I pretended the hallucinations were real. Actually it was rather fun. If Mom saw a strange woman in the kitchen I asked Mom if the woman had Mom's permission to in her home. "No." I would go into the kitchen and loudly (for Mom's benefit) order her out of the house, that she didn't have Mom's permission to be here, then "escort" the woman out the back door and make a show of locking all the locks. Mom was satisfied and calm and immediately forgot all about it. Once Mom awoke with chickens in her room. I rounded them all up and "put" them in their coop. She was satisfied and went back to sleep.
My Gram, who lived to 98, had hallucinations when she had UTIs and once when she visited me in Colorado and her oxygenation was poor.
Until you can find and deal with the cause:
1 - try distracting her with another activity
2 - reassure her that you are "on guard" and won't let anybody or anything hurt her.
3 - realize that she is getting into a thought "do loop" where her mind keeps running along the same thought lines over and over and over again. When Gram got into these thought "do loops" about a family rift in the way distant past, I would acknowledge the sadness of this happening and change the subject.
4 - Make sure she has plenty of lights in the evening. As the sun goes down, being tired in the evenings and shadows may appear to be scary things which may be the reason for "Sun Downer's Syndrome"
That said other things can cause hallucinations.
UT
Medications
Double check with the pharmacy about medication interactions
Have her checked for a UTI
I do hope you have the firearms locked and in a location where she can't get to them. NEVER underestimate what a person with dementia can do when they get it in their head to do something. Even if you think she can't get to where you keep the firearms put another level of security in place. (Gun locked in safe..safe kept in closet...you should also lock the closet)
By the way if she is seeing movement outside it might or might not be a hallucination, she might be seeing branches move, squirrels running around gathering nuts, large birds. Keep drapes or blinds closed.
Change lights inside to LED's that are brighter and have a more white light.
You could also put up security lights outside so that IF anyone or thing is in the back yard a light will come on to illuminate the yard.