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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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They stopped taking her vitals, is this normal for palliative care? Please let me know. I'm very upset and confused. She has stage 4 lung cancer and it spread to her bones.
I'm extremely sorry to hear that your mother's advanced cancer has spread.
What you can expect from a good palliative care service is that, as far as humanly possible, your mother will be kept free from pain and anxiety, and that her own sense of wellbeing will take priority over everything else.
Stopped taking her vitals... I sympathise with how radical this feels to you, when your loved one is after all in a medical setting. But the thing to remember is that anything that is done to her has to have a point. What difference will it make if her bp is up or down or her heart rate varies? The focus of palliative care is altogether the patient, how she is feeling, whether anything can be done to make her more comfortable.
Do you have anybody with you to support you as you go through this? The perfect - as opposed to good - palliative care team should also be considerate of you.
I have my 3 older siblings who also help take care of her. I being the youngest don't really get to do much but talk to her and try to keep her as comfortable as possible by bringing up the good times we all he'd when we were all younger and spending time as a family.
I see you are in NY, in America there is a difference between palliative care and hospice so it's important to know exactly what service she signed up for. From your question I'm assuming that treating the cancer isn't on the table, is there a reason your mother hasn't opted for hospice care?
She is still thinking about getting chemotherapy but isn't sure because of the Drs telling her the different outcomes that could happen. She had received radiation treatments but ended up in more pain so I am not sure what is going on. It's not just me helping her out in anyway I can but my 3 older siblings are also helping care for her.
I would have opted for Hospice rather than palliative care. With palliative she can still seek treatment. they will focus on symptom management. If she is not having treatments for the cancer I would switch to Hospice. I think she and you will get more care from Hospice than palliative.
She’s likely on palliative care while in the hospital and will go on hospice once she’s released. Just went through this with it FIL who also had cancer. the hospital stopped trying to “cure” him and instead kept him comfortable just like hospice would but still allowed him to be treated for some things.
So sorry that you are dealing with this situation. Your mom is only 57? Goodness that's soooo young to have stage 4 cancer. So sad. But certainly not the only one I've heard of, unfortunately.
Anyhow, my understanding of palliative care is that the point is to keep the patient comfortable instead of focusing on treatment (as was the case prior to the switchover). So, I guess you have to figure out how to adjust your thinking to also focus on how she is feeling. Is she in pain? Is she comfortable?
I guess it's time to hold her hand and make sure that she is as comfortable as possible. Remember the good times and let her feel the love.
Thank you for your words of wisdom and comfort. I have been doing just that even with posts on Facebook to her reminding her of the good times we all had when my siblings and I were growing up.
You need to talk to the staff at the hospital. Didn’t they have a care conference with you when she went on palliative care & explain everything to you? That is what they did with my FIL who had cancer. He Too went on palliative care while in the hospital. He was kept comfortable while still recieving chemo. She’s likely on palliative care so she can be kept comfortable & pain free while still being treated in the hospital. I am so sorry you are going through this. It doesn’t sound right that they don’t check her vitals, even on home hospice vitals are checked when the nurse comes.
I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this. What you're doing for your mother is exactly the right thing.
Are there plans to move her from the hospital?
May it go gently with her, but don't forget to take care of yourself too. Eat, shower, get outside for some fresh air - make yourself do the basics, because it'll help you be a more comforting presence when you're with her. Keep in touch, hugs to you.
Yes, she had gotten a hospital bed delivered to her apartment. My oldest sister is staying with her for a while to help her. Thank you for your words of wisdom and comfort. I will keep in touch.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
What you can expect from a good palliative care service is that, as far as humanly possible, your mother will be kept free from pain and anxiety, and that her own sense of wellbeing will take priority over everything else.
Stopped taking her vitals... I sympathise with how radical this feels to you, when your loved one is after all in a medical setting. But the thing to remember is that anything that is done to her has to have a point. What difference will it make if her bp is up or down or her heart rate varies? The focus of palliative care is altogether the patient, how she is feeling, whether anything can be done to make her more comfortable.
Do you have anybody with you to support you as you go through this? The perfect - as opposed to good - palliative care team should also be considerate of you.
If she is not having treatments for the cancer I would switch to Hospice. I think she and you will get more care from Hospice than palliative.
Anyhow, my understanding of palliative care is that the point is to keep the patient comfortable instead of focusing on treatment (as was the case prior to the switchover). So, I guess you have to figure out how to adjust your thinking to also focus on how she is feeling. Is she in pain? Is she comfortable?
I guess it's time to hold her hand and make sure that she is as comfortable as possible. Remember the good times and let her feel the love.
Are there plans to move her from the hospital?
May it go gently with her, but don't forget to take care of yourself too. Eat, shower, get outside for some fresh air - make yourself do the basics, because it'll help you be a more comforting presence when you're with her. Keep in touch, hugs to you.