Follow
Share

sometimes she goes into a sleep where she does't respond when you call her or touch her continue to call her this goes on for about 5-10 minutes. my mom can't do anything for her self now there's difficult time when she can't speak can't walk or stand at all

Hi Ladyrocks,

You haven't come back to the forum and, having been at this stage recently with my own mum, I can imagine the reason why.

I just want to tell you and anyone else who feels lost at this stage in their LO's condition that it's okay to let them sleep.

You don't need to shake them awake for food and drink, but do ensure that you provide mouth care to keep it moist, especially when they start to breathe with an open mouth.

End of life care is about providing comfort, which means alleviating pain and agitation. Nutrition and most every day meds are no longer necessary. Even my Mum's epilepsy medication was stopped by the palliative care doctor, as one of the drugs in the syringe driver was an anticonvulsant (as well as a sedative to calm Mum's agitation).

My stepdad found it difficult to just stop everything that had been keeping Mum alive. At first he fought me about pushing Mum to take nutrition, which she was refusing and I was accepting her wishes. I had to explain that Mum's swallow was becoming unsafe and giving her tablets could make her choke, which would be painful and frightening for her. Plus, he would feel awful if he was the reason for Mum dying in distress. It didn't work and it took the doctor and district nurse having strong words to get him to stop doing something that was causing Mum discomfort.

In the end, he became reconciled to allowing Mum to sleep when she started to become extremely upset and agitated when awake; she was crying out for help, for her mum and for her husband, yet couldn't be comforted by him. I was the only one who could comfort her, by stroking her forehead and hair while singing "down in the valley", which Mum had sung to us because her mum had also sung it. But the respite was short-lived.
Drugs gave Mum real respite and she was able to sleep peacefully again, until she passed away.

So, if your loved one is nearing the end of life and has started sleeping all the time, be thankful. It is the most peaceful way to die.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to MiaMoor
Report

Lady, so sorry, let your mom sleep, and maybe it's time to consider hospice.

We are always here to lend a kind word, vent or any questions. You got are support.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Anxietynacy
Report

Sleeping a lot is common.
Sleeping a lot happens as you get to the end of your life.
Sleeping a lot is one of the "declines" Hospice takes into consideration when evaluating or reevaluating a person for Hospice.
By the way if your mom is not on Hospice you might want to have her evaluated for what I think is an amazing, underused medical service.
And if you need it you will get all the equipment that you need as well as a Nurse 1 time a week, a CNA 2 or more times a week to help give her a bath (could be a bed bath) and order supplies. (all the supplies will be delivered and are covered by Medicare/Medicaid/Insurance)

Just make sure that you are repositioning her at least every 2 hours to help lessen the possibility of pressure sores.
You don't even have to wake her up to move her, just shifting a sheet will move her, reclining a chair a bit m ore or sitting her up a bit more. Putting the feet under a wedge or pillow, moving the wedge or pillow.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Grandma1954
Report

Yes, let her sleep.

You don't ask a question, but if you are in a situation where you are struggling to provide care for her, it seems she would qualify for LTC in a facility, which is covered by Medicaid once she also financially qualifies. You can talk to an elder law or estate attorney, or Medicaid Planner for your home state for specifics on how it would work for your Mom.

May you receive peace in your heart.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Geaton777
Report

Sleep is a Blessing - Let her sleep .
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to KNance72
Report

You don't ask a question, so I will just say let her sleep, as that is common when end of life is drawing near.
My late husband slept anywhere from 16-20 hours/day for the last 6 months of his life, and was under hospice care in our home.
I would definitely bring hospice on board now, and let your mom be as comfortable and pain free as possible as she gets ready to leave this world for the next.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to funkygrandma59
Report

Sleeping is common with dementia patients. My mom sleeps almost 20 hours a day and is awake only for 45 minutes at most. As long as she is comfortable and is getting nourishment it will be sufficient. Unfortunately, this is the progression of the disease.

Send good thoughts and peace during this difficult journey.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to AMZebbC
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter