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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I acknowledge and authorize
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I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
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I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Remembering/wanting to take a shower. Finding the bathroom. Assembling the stuff she'll need - shower gel, shampoo, towels, etc. Setting the temperature controls. Turning the water on. And off, later. Undressing and getting into the shower, all in the right order. Keeping her balance. Reaching all the bits that need washing. Rinsing the soap off. Getting out safely. Getting dry.
Some of these tasks easily allow for dignity to be preserved and, as you can imagine, some don't so much. With the ones that don't, if those are the ones your mother needs help with, you'll have to develop a technique that lets you both pretend you're not there. You're aiming to be like an extra helpful bathmat.
Is the shower kitted out for safety? Grab rails, possibly a shower chair if space allows, that kind of thing?
Do you have a shower seat/transfer bench? That will let her sit while showering. It let my grandma shower by herself for another few years. I would just set everything up with a transfer bench over the lip of the bathtub. She could then sit on it outside the tub and scoot into the tub. Then she could sit there and bath using a handheld shower head.
Here are a few ideas to maybe implement as you see fit.
Keep any areas not being cleansed at the time covered with towels or lightweight material and then cover back up when you move to the next area. This will also keep her warm.
Use gloves if you aren't already - They keep your hands from becoming soiled plus mom most likely has had an exam with a healthcare worker wearing gloves - in both your minds, bathing places that "never see the sun" with gloves on will seem much more clinical and less embarrassing.
If she is able, have her do the best she can on more personal areas then finish whatever she is unable to wash adequately.
Keep in mind, even if it feels very weird at first, you HAVE to look to check her skin for any problems, especially where any skin touches skin like beneath breasts and any skin folds. Tell her what you are doing beforehand and why.
Don't bathe her in embarrassed silence; lighten both your moods with conversation, stories, singing or whatever small talk you can manage. Try to be relaxed and normal so she can feel that way also.
Make the less intimate portions of the bath, such as shampooing or lotioning her back, into a relaxing treat with a nice scalp massage and neck/shoulder rub while you're at it.
It WILL become less stressful/uncomfortable for both of you with each bath. Keeping her clean is a major part of maintaining her dignity, if you look at it that way.
I hope something here helps you - great question, by the way. Mom is lucky to have you able to help her with a thoughtful, caring attitude.
Have you contacted Council of Aging in your are? They will do an assessment and if she qualifies you can get help with bathing. An aide from an agency will come to your home.
In the meantime, what about sponge baths? Have you thought about assisted living or a nursing home if her care becomes too much? This is a lot for you to be dealing with, especially since you have children at home.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Remembering/wanting to take a shower.
Finding the bathroom.
Assembling the stuff she'll need - shower gel, shampoo, towels, etc.
Setting the temperature controls.
Turning the water on. And off, later.
Undressing and getting into the shower, all in the right order.
Keeping her balance.
Reaching all the bits that need washing.
Rinsing the soap off.
Getting out safely.
Getting dry.
Some of these tasks easily allow for dignity to be preserved and, as you can imagine, some don't so much. With the ones that don't, if those are the ones your mother needs help with, you'll have to develop a technique that lets you both pretend you're not there. You're aiming to be like an extra helpful bathmat.
Is the shower kitted out for safety? Grab rails, possibly a shower chair if space allows, that kind of thing?
Keep any areas not being cleansed at the time covered with towels or lightweight material and then cover back up when you move to the next area. This will also keep her warm.
Use gloves if you aren't already - They keep your hands from becoming soiled plus mom most likely has had an exam with a healthcare worker wearing gloves - in both your minds, bathing places that "never see the sun" with gloves on will seem much more clinical and less embarrassing.
If she is able, have her do the best she can on more personal areas then finish whatever she is unable to wash adequately.
Keep in mind, even if it feels very weird at first, you HAVE to look to check her skin for any problems, especially where any skin touches skin like beneath breasts and any skin folds. Tell her what you are doing beforehand and why.
Don't bathe her in embarrassed silence; lighten both your moods with conversation, stories, singing or whatever small talk you can manage. Try to be relaxed and normal so she can feel that way also.
Make the less intimate portions of the bath, such as shampooing or lotioning her back, into a relaxing treat with a nice scalp massage and neck/shoulder rub while you're at it.
It WILL become less stressful/uncomfortable for both of you with each bath. Keeping her clean is a major part of maintaining her dignity, if you look at it that way.
I hope something here helps you - great question, by the way. Mom is lucky to have you able to help her with a thoughtful, caring attitude.
In the meantime, what about sponge baths? Have you thought about assisted living or a nursing home if her care becomes too much? This is a lot for you to be dealing with, especially since you have children at home.
Wish you all the best.