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The last time she had cardiac arrest in 2015 she was heavily drugged and woke up after several weeks. I have to work so I can’t stay and watch them all the time . The hospital is bad but I know she was on heavy medication before and when they brought her down she woke up. I wish I could get her moved but they probably won’t allow. I can’t understand why they do this and don’t listen to families. She is on Medicaid and I feel they are trying to save money. He is hesitant about a peg tube due to quality of life but I asked the alternative and he said hospice. Does that make sense? He is going to examine her brain but saying it may not show anything. I feel like some holes is going on here but I can’t put my finger on it. The other thing is this hospital has a ton of lawsuits. I don’t know what to do. She was in skilled nursing before and they were short staffed when she was getting sicker.

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You really do not want them to do CPR on someone so frail. It breaks bones.

Good for Mom not wanting a peg tube. My daughter, RN, does not recommend them unless its something used to get over a hump, not to keep someone alive. And yes, without a peg tube, Hospice would be recommended. If a doctor has asked for a DNR, then he feels they have done all they can, its time to let her go. If Mom is competent, family has no say in what she wants.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Yes it makes sense. It sounds like she has irreparable damage from all of this, including her two cardiac arrests.

In other words, she might be 78 but her body has already tried to die twice.
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Reply to Bulldog54321
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Back in 2023, in June, you wrote us that your mother was in care; at that time she was already very ill. And it does sound quite honestly like your mother has been exceptionally ill for some time now. I am so sorry. This flu and pneumonia may not be survivable.

If you have a long history of knowledge of what your mother would want, if she would want to fight on no matter how awful the quality of life is, then you can refuse to make your mother a DNR. They have asked; you have said no. She will, then, require a tube for nutrition, whether permanently or temporarily. These tubes are not without complications of diarrhea, bedsores, resulting sepsis from infection and so on.

I think that we are missing a lot in what your mothers overall condition, diagnosis and prognosis was before the pneumonia.

I am so sorry. Often when there is grief to be faced we want to blame someone. Doctors, hospitals, nurses and long term care facilities get most of the blame. Hospice gets the blame. Often people blame their loved one for not "taking good enough care of him/herself". And lastly people may even blame themSELVES. The sad truth is that we all do die. Your mom has had a long life and now is very ill and may not make it. I am so very sorry.

Again, if you are your mom's POA, Medical POA, or have an advance directive in which she says she wants all heroic measures until she passes, you can request that the doctors continue and attempt resuscitation. Just know that it often breaks fragile bones, causes more pain, and is ineffective statistically.

Again I am so very sorry.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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I’m sorry your mother is so ill. That’s a lot for anyone to recover from. You can request another medical opinion, ask to see results of tests or scans, or see if she’s stable enough to move hospitals. My mom had a huge stroke in her early 70’s, slept a solid three weeks in hospital afterwards, while our family was hugely encouraged to do a feeding tube as a temporary measure until she recovered. And four doctors gave great hope of recovery as we sought several opinions. Doctors have no vested interest in losing a patient. The feeding tube was placed and she moved to rehab. After months of valiant effort by all, including mom, it became sadly clear no recovery was possible. I share that to say, strongly consider mom’s ultimate health and if recovery is truly likely . I learned there are fates worse than death, watching my mom live in a body that could nothing proved it for me. Gather all information you can, speak to multiple medical professionals, and strongly consider what kind of life you mom would want. My mom lived a long nightmare, I hope your mom will be at peace, however that’s supposed to happen. I wish you the best in a hard time
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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You can transfer her. Call her insurance company and tell them you need to transfer her because this hospital is not a good one. Does she have a PCP or cardiologist other than hospitals. Get the involved.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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