I don't know what to do. My mother, 80 years old with Dementia Alzheimer's, punched my 20-year-old son and me today. She threatened to hit my FIL if he intervened. She had our dog restrained and choking her with her collar and when we tried to get her to release the dog, she hits us, hard. I thought about calling the police, but my mom said she would tell them that we hit her first. I have the incidents on video with exception to the very beginnings which would prove we did not touch her in any way. I'm worried that the violence is going to escalate. I have her on lists for facilities and am working on getting the Medicaid application done, but everything is taking so long. I was told if you mention that the person is violent or problematic, then they don't have to take them. I'm exhausted and my family is scared and exhausted. Who do I call and what do I do?
Try calling your mom’s doctor. Ask for help, what to do.
If you really want her out of the house, you can call an ambulance. They can force her to go to the hospital because she’s a danger to others.
Also, very important, hide any guns and sharp knives
You follow. When she is there ask them for a 'Social Admit' because she is violent and aggressive and cannot be looked after at home. Then refuse to allow her back. They will find a facility for her who can meet her needs.
When there's aggression and they start getting physical, it's time for placement.
Then, next time she hurts anyone or anything in your home, you call 911 and get her the help she needs and potentially get her out of your home, if that's what you want.
Then she has to get her out of the home. If that has to be done via an ER Dump (Social Admit) then that's how they will have to do it.
Maybe , MAYBE if this is a UTI and the aggression clears when the infection does she can be managed at home. I'm not sure I would chance her hurting my kid or my dog with a knife, say
Per your profile I would like to say WOW I can't believe you have 2 dementia parents in your home! That's a LOT! I hope you are getting some help to care for them because you are going to burn out any minute, if you're not already there. This is toooo much. Any help you do get needs to be paid by your mom and/or FIL. Not you.
Best of luck and please let us know how this unfolds.
She can be medicated to reduce the agitation and anxiety.
And NO facility will take her if she has had violent outbursts. (Typically a 90 day time frame must pass with no violent outburst for a facility to accept a resident) Given that I would get the outbursts under control as soon as possible.
Next time she does become violent you call 911.
Explain to the dispatcher that this is a person with dementia. They will hopefully approach the situation differently than a domestic violence call.
She MUST be transported.
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