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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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dmvinson, what your Mom is doing is quite normal for a person who has Alzheimer's or Dementia. Let her continue to believe that she had spoken with your Dad and that she is planning on visiting. Don't tell Mom that Dad had passed, she will only grieve all over again.
When the time comes and Mom is ready to go visit Dad, now is a good time to pull out the "therapeutic fibs". Being it is winter, you can always use winter storms as a good excuse not to travel. You can also tell Mom "maybe tomorrow", chances are she will forget that you had said that.
Dmvinson I think I understood your post regarding your mom to mean that she is telling you she is about to die and that she is telling your dad that she is coming to visit him (as in heaven). Is that right? Is she agitated when she says this or is it matter of fact? Not a problem if the later, if she is upset and crying then you might want to let her doctor know in case she needs something to calm her. Of course we often think when we hear something like that, that the person may be depressed. But she may actually be looking forward to it and is just letting you know. If it’s a statement she keeps repeating and it bothers you then try redirecting her comments as Freq Flyer suggested. “Not today, Mom. We have to get the laundry done. Here, you fold these towels.” You don’t mention her health status. Has she been ill with Alz a long time? How old is she? Since you didn’t pose your post as a question, we are just making assumptions. The more details you give us enables us to offer more beneficial suggestions to help.
she does have demitia and she is crying when she says this says she is tired she had been asleep and then was shaking hert head yes and woke up saying she was going and told dad she was comming to see him wanted to hold my brothers hand
I guess the best is to roll along with what she says about your dad. Doesn't hurt anything if either she thinks she's talking to him or thinks she's dying soon. At 97, either scenario kind of makes sense.
I completely agree with not reminding her that dad is gone. Doesn't matter and can just cause her pain every time she hears it.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
When the time comes and Mom is ready to go visit Dad, now is a good time to pull out the "therapeutic fibs". Being it is winter, you can always use winter storms as a good excuse not to travel. You can also tell Mom "maybe tomorrow", chances are she will forget that you had said that.
I think I understood your post regarding your mom to mean that she is telling you she is about to die and that she is telling your dad that she is coming to visit him (as in heaven). Is that right?
Is she agitated when she says this or is it matter of fact? Not a problem if the later, if she is upset and crying then you might want to let her doctor know in case she needs something to calm her.
Of course we often think when we hear something like that, that the person may be depressed. But she may actually be looking forward to it and is just letting you know. If it’s a statement she keeps repeating and it bothers you then try redirecting her comments as Freq Flyer suggested. “Not today, Mom.
We have to get the laundry done. Here, you fold these towels.”
You don’t mention her health status. Has she been ill with Alz a long time? How old is she?
Since you didn’t pose your post as a question, we are just making assumptions. The more details you give us enables us to offer more beneficial suggestions to help.
I completely agree with not reminding her that dad is gone. Doesn't matter and can just cause her pain every time she hears it.