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My mother passed away.
Thank you all so much!



My father went to his doctor and he is ok with his catheter now.



He did let me gather up his bills and get his bank account numbers believe it or not. I am setting him up for auto pay.



My sister has said often she hates us both so we have no contact with her. IDK what was changed in the will. She had it done one week before my mother died as I said. My mother was in terrible pain in the hospital when it was done and was probably on some sort of opioid.



The lawyer also kicked everyone out of the room when he came to change the will including my father.



She never had POA my cousin did. My father was the executor of the old will. If he is still the executor and he can't handle it (he probably can't) I will get POA for him with me as the POA



My father is seeing his lawyer tomorrow



I don't hate him I am just frustrated. Which hurts extra because I am dealing with my loss at the same time.



Thank you all (((hugs)))

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If an actual lawyer was in the Mom's room helping her make changes or create a new Will, this means he also assessed her for capacity at the time to do so. Being on pain meds doesn't automatically make one incapacitated legally.

Is your Father seeing a lawyer due to the concern over your Mom changing her Will in the hospital? Or is he there to make you his PoA and Executor?
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Mary444 Oct 2023
We are seeing a lawyer tomorrow about this. I'll bring up POA as well thanks
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{Hugs to you.}
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My sister is unfortunately a bad person.

Her will is in possession with the new lawyer my sister hired.
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Curious… were your parents still legally married? Both your parents are the biological parents of both you and sister, right?
I would think your parents would have had a living trust together.. with a pour over will to cover all assets.. perhaps it’s different in other states. This is why I wondered if your parents were still married..
At least take this time to breathe.. and focus on your health and dad’s. Ag as in, I’m sorry you’re going through all if this…
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Mary444 Nov 2023
They have bank accounts scattered every where and I can't get a grip on it.


They never had a financial advisor and they had/have a very good amount of money


The most I can do at this point is at least try to figure out my mother's social security :(

and step back from my father for a while
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yes they are still legally married

I assume I have to contact Social security and the myriad of bank accounts they have, my father is wallowing and cant help

I resent this
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Yes it's very odd. Why would she want my father out of the room?

He isn't exactly the best person in the world but he was her husband. She asked for him when they were moving her to hospice. I actually think they loved each other.

:(

anyone with advice on when the will will be read? timeline?

I hate this
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your parents were still married… I guess mom could have had a separate will..
one thing I learned from a friend.. she gave everyone she had lusted in her living trust and will a copy…
everyone has. Copy so there are no secrets or misunderstandings… I haven’t heard about doing that before, but it makes sense.
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Another strange question.. is you dad clinically deemed impaired to make health snd financial decisions??
You may want to inquire..
is your sister POA for your dad? Health and financial?
If sister is, was thus dad’s decision? Does he k ie and understand?
Are you concerned for his well-being that he will be taken care of when he needs to go to assisted living or having financial stability should he needextra care?
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The lawyer kicked everyone out because he needed to privately ascertain whether your mother was under any undue influence, it was the ethical thing to do. And wills aren't "read" like you see on TV, since it was newly executed the lawyer and executor will be known to each other therefore the first steps will already be underway - freezing of assets, setting up estate accounts and probate if needed, and informing creditors and heirs. If you aren't named as an heir you have no legal right to even see the will, although once probate is filed it will be a public document.
BTW, I'm sorry for your loss, all the family dysfunction you are experiencing no doubt compounds it.
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