Follow
Share

She is currently responsible for all her finances and health decisions. She said she will not come to take care of her anymore if other sisters won't help. As her POA, is that illegal?

Apparently, your sister has asked for help from her sisters and they cannot or will not offer help. POA does not mean she needs to care for your mom physically. She's in charge of taking care of financial and medical decisions when your mom cannot do those things for herself. It is impossible to do it all, though I think many people are trying their best to do it all, making themselves sick in the process. It does depend on how much help is required. If your sister makes this threat it means she is burnt out. Perhaps you all could get together and come up with a plan. It does really help to have input, but only if you can get along with each other. Remember that your sister is not getting anything out of being POA. She is only giving of herself in this situation. Help her find a solution, please, and don't resort to legality, just stay in the realm of concern for all.
Helpful Answer (8)
Reply to ArtistDaughter
Report

Your question is very telling...
Sounds like your sister is begging for help. Instead of hoping she can be legally forced to continue to burden the responsibility maybe the sisters could realise she is struggling and figure out a way to help her .
I am the sister who is left to deal, and my sister does not realise how hard it is since she has chosen to never experience what I have.
May I ask, why is it you do not want to help her?
Helpful Answer (8)
Reply to FarFarAway
Report

I guess you don't understand the difference between being a person with POA and being a caregiver. There is no legal requirement that a person with POA ever provide caregiving. Folks with POAs make decisions, they don't provide care. Of course, there could be overlap if someone happens to be someone's caregiver as well, but there is no legal obligation for a person with POA to provide caregiving.

Sounds to me like she's tired of being the one responsible for everything at the cost of her own home life. If you and the other sisters aren't willing to share responsibility for mom's care, then it is time for a family meeting to decide the next step for mom.
Helpful Answer (8)
Reply to graygrammie
Report

Yes it is legal. It sounds like the sister with the POA is really burned out.

Have you and your sisters considered helping out with Mom's care?
Helpful Answer (8)
Reply to brandee
Report

Its not at all illegal for your sister the POA to stop providing hands on care for your mother, it's not part of the requirement of a POA. She can use moms money to place her in Assisted Living or Skilled Nursing care, in fact, so I doubt she's bluffing. She can also use moms money to hire in home help to give her a break, burn out is real. I'd have a sit down meeting with your sister to see how you can help her....sounds like she really needs it.
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to lealonnie1
Report

I don't blame her! If I were your sister, I'd put mom in AL and where she can be cared for and your sister gets the help she needs! I come from personal experience - I'm here on my own 24/7 taking care of my 96yr old Dad! Caregiver burnout is real! Your sister needs help or Mom needs to go into AL. I hope you all can put your differences aside to do what's best for your Mom!
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to Mamacrow
Report

Yes it's legal , you sister needs help, just because she is POA doesn't mean she should do everything.

Burnout is horrible, my advice to you would be for you to be more concerned with your sisters health.
And help her deal with this, no matter if your sister gets mom placed somewheres.

The stress of caregiving, tears family's apart. Trust I know.
When we should be working together, for whats best for mom, we end up , with horrible disfuction and anger .

Best of luck.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to Anxietynacy
Report

There is nothing in a Financial POA or Medical POA that says you have to physically care for the principle or be at their beck. A POA does give her the right to take Moms money and place her in an AL or Longterm care. So it comes town to if you allcdon't want Mom placed, then you all need to pitch in to help care for her.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

This is a common misconception. There is no legal requirement that a person with POA is required to provide actual (physical) caregiving chores for the Elder/patient.

They can use their POA to either place the Elder in a facility, or hire caregivers to come to the home, paid for by the Elder's money. They can sell the Elder's home and use the profit to pay for the Elder's medical costs.

Being "responsible for finances and health decisions" DOES NOT mean the POA also must function as a full time Caregiver/Unpaid Slave.

Apparently none of you sisters will offer any help. It's already hard enough for the POA to deal with finances, doctor appts, coordinating with various doctors, ordering supplies, buying food, keeping the Elder clean and fed, and making sure the Elder's bills get paid.

A POA doesn't generally get paid for all they do, either. Have you ever worked 40-60 hours a week for anyone for FREE?
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Dawn88
Report

POA = Power of Attorney, not hands on caregiver. It is a legal designation. Duties of the POA (when invoked, they don't have any legal duties until the power is invoked, depending on how it is written)
Act on the Principal's benefit
Pay Bills
Manage Properties (including legally allowed to sell the property)
Handling tax issues
When Health Care POA as well -they are responsible for making medical decisions

As other's have said, in no way is the POA required to provide hands on care. Their only responsibility in that area is to ensure that the principal is cared for.

Being the primary caregiver is difficult. Being the SOLE caregiver is incredibly stressful -especially when there are siblings who are willing to offer opinions but not help.

If your sister decides to no longer provide hands on care for your mother, her responsibility is to either find her a safe home or let APS know that there is a vulnerable adult living on their own.

POA does not indicate that she is expected to resign herself to full time caregiver. And she can (and probably should) find appropriate care, so that she can also maintain her own life. While she can't insist that other family members participate in care, other family members cannot insist that she provide the care either.

What she doesn't have to do is involve family in the decision to move mom either. Out of courtesy, a POA can involve family - but ultimately if that POA is invoked, she doesn't have to consult with other family members at all.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to BlueEyedGirl94
Report

See All Answers
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter