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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Your question brought tears to my eyes. Start your note from your heart. I so appreciate your generosity to your sister and for acknowledging her sacrifice, contribution and willingness to be there for your mom when you can’t. We all need to be sending checks of money, love, good cheer, encouragement to our loved ones who are serving in our stead. Thank you for this post. I want to do the same.
From your bio I would say send what you can often. The regular appearance of Support would cheer me and let me know you were with me in spirit which would mean more than the money itself.
You’re very generous. All caregivers should have siblings like you!
So many people have siblings that could care less about the caregiver.
You are a blessing! Why don’t you call your sister and ask her if there is something special that she would like, ask what the price is and you can contribute to whatever she desires.
All caregivers need a break. If you could pay for additional help for a limited time that would be very special!
You can start your note with, “Thank you for caring for ‘our’ mom. If I had heard this from my siblings it would have meant the world to me.
I was expected to do everything, never complain, never tire, as if I was a machine instead of a human being.
I wouldn’t say anything like it’s a ‘blessing’ to take care of mom. Honestly, I ended up in a caregiver support group and therapy after caregiving for decades, 15 years in my home. My therapist said to me, “Caregiving becomes a burden to the caregiver when it starts to consume your whole life.” How vert true!
You sound appreciative of your sister’s hard work. Caregiving is one of the toughest jobs ever.
"Sis, I love you. I can't believe all you are doing for Mom and I worry I cannot help more, cannot be there more. I just worry about YOU. Could you please use this in some way for some thing you might not otherwise do/have? Or tuck it away for a rainy day? I know that money means nothing, but right now it is all I have to give. Please accept it from me; order out dinner more. Hire on some help. Whatever you want. Again, I love you. If you can think of something more I might be able to do could you let me know, could we sit and talk?" Something along those lines I guess.
I doubt that you'd even need to write a note, but that is up to you.
Just express what is in your heart and she will get the message.
I give my kids a crisp new $100 bill for their birthdays--years ago that meant something to them--but I always wrote in the card "To be spent unwisely"...now if I forget that, they call me and say "Do I have to spend this wisely?" It's a family joke--esp as all 5 of them make far more money that DH and I do.
I would hope that she would spend this money 'unwisely' meaning, NOT on bills, but on herself. However, if paying down a bill brought her joy, I wouldn't fuss.
There should be about 2,000,000 more people like you out there!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
“To care for those who once cared for us is one of the highest honors.” ― Tia Walker
You can find many caregiver quotes, poems and prayers on the internet.
After that express your appreciation, love and thanks for what she's doing. Go from there.
From your bio I would say send what you can often. The regular appearance of Support would cheer me and let me know you were with me in spirit which would mean more than the money itself.
So many people have siblings that could care less about the caregiver.
You are a blessing! Why don’t you call your sister and ask her if there is something special that she would like, ask what the price is and you can contribute to whatever she desires.
All caregivers need a break. If you could pay for additional help for a limited time that would be very special!
You can start your note with, “Thank you for caring for ‘our’ mom. If I had heard this from my siblings it would have meant the world to me.
I was expected to do everything, never complain, never tire, as if I was a machine instead of a human being.
I wouldn’t say anything like it’s a ‘blessing’ to take care of mom. Honestly, I ended up in a caregiver support group and therapy after caregiving for decades, 15 years in my home. My therapist said to me, “Caregiving becomes a burden to the caregiver when it starts to consume your whole life.” How vert true!
You sound appreciative of your sister’s hard work. Caregiving is one of the toughest jobs ever.
How wonderful that you care about your sister!
Try not to make a big deal about it, leave it unsaid. Enclose it in a Christmas card, or in a thank you note.
Just do it, and good on ya!
As for the amount? How about $750/mo.
Actions speak louder than words! I couldn’t agree more with your advice.
Saying thank you is a sweet thing to do. A pretty thank you card with a simple personal note speaks volumes.
Something along those lines I guess.
I doubt that you'd even need to write a note, but that is up to you.
Just express what is in your heart and she will get the message.
I give my kids a crisp new $100 bill for their birthdays--years ago that meant something to them--but I always wrote in the card "To be spent unwisely"...now if I forget that, they call me and say "Do I have to spend this wisely?" It's a family joke--esp as all 5 of them make far more money that DH and I do.
I would hope that she would spend this money 'unwisely' meaning, NOT on bills, but on herself. However, if paying down a bill brought her joy, I wouldn't fuss.
There should be about 2,000,000 more people like you out there!