My 84 y/o wife was discharged from hospital requiring at least sub-acute rehab to improve her balance, strength, range of motion, walking or self-propelling a wheelchair. I can assist in her bathing, toileting, dressing at home, but she will need a 'handler' to competently help her into and out of bed, getting into and off a chair, couch and toilet seat. I could be the assistant to the handler, but not the lead.
She needs to understand fully WHY it is to her advantage to really TRY in rehab. As long as someone is progressing, the longer Medicare pays. Most advantage plans pick up the remainder.
If she fails rehab, the truth is that you’ll have to have somebody besides you to help lift dw onto the toilet. It will be 24/7 care that at 20 an hour is about 250k a year.
If you do decide to try home care, you should consider splitting your finances, to protect your half of your joint assets for your own future care. Make it clear to W that this is what it would take. The home care will only be able to continue until her half of the assets is used up. Then it's Medicaid with no options. The bitter truth (probably with tears for both of you) is the only thing that will work to change her mind about trying rehab.