So for two and a half years I have lived with my elderly mom and diverted I don't know how many hours caring for her. I've put up with her verbal abuse and her stubbornness and cried myself to sleep many a night because she's slowly getting more and more mentally unstable. So far the family has learned that under the Medicaid caregiver exception, I would be allowed to stay in the house if she has to go into long-term care. Today, my sister, who makes about 10 times what I do annually and doesn't have health issues, told me flat out that she wanted a third of the assets from the house if it comes to that. I'm making poverty level money right now and I don't know if I can find a higher paying job at my age and with some of my health issues. I do work a part-time job, but I don't have much to play around with. How does my family expect me to be able to pay them for their share of the house when my money is so tight? And how does the caregiver exception work when there are other siblings? I've gone on various sites looking to see if it's specifies what happens in this situation, but I think it's pretty clear that it's the caregiver who has lived in the home for 2 years or more who gets the house. We could sell the house, but then I still have a problem because with my share of the money, I'll be lucky if I can buy a place, and with my low income, I'm never going to be able to get a mortgage loan, so it would have to be something that I can pretty much pay out right for. I would get a lawyer, but I don't have money for one. I'm not saying my family shouldn't get their share. I figured that I might stay in the house at most another 10 years and then we could sell it and split three ways. But if she expects me to somehow pay them for their share right up front, I don't know how I'm going to be able to do that.
Is your mother still capable of making a will? You do know that the home will go to whomever is designated in the will? If she is not able, or willing, then you need to see a Lawyer at once.
You need either to work out a care plan in which you will now get paid, or find out what to do about the house. I wish you the best of luck and we all would appreciate any update you can give us after getting your professional advice, as that may help others.
I am glad you are forewarned by your Sister as forewarned is forearmed. And I am glad you have written this cautionary tale for others to see. As you say, you cannot trust, or if you DO trust, then "trust but verify". I sure wish you good luck. To be frank, I think that if you have given the care you should get the home. Otherwise Mom can go into care on Medicaid and when she is gone the home will go to Medicaid. I wouldn't warn or speak to the sister. Go DIRECTLY TO A LAWYER.
A similar question was asked and answered. I really don't think the Caregiver clause is cut and dry. Each state has their own rules and regulations. One I think is, you must be able to prove you can pay the bills, taxes and upkeep. I have no idea how it works when siblings are involved but I am sure I explained that the house is your Moms until her death. So buying out siblings is just not on the table at this point. Once Mom passes there will be a lean put on the house whether someone is allowed to stay there or not, according to the rules in my state. If a person is allowed to remain there, if they leave, sell or die, then the lean needs to be satisfied. The house will then probably need to be sold and the Medicaid lean satisfied. If any proceeds remain then that will be split up between the beneficiaries. THERE IS NO GUARENTEE THAT ANYONE WILL INHERIT THE HOUSE. Medicaid can recoup the money spent on Moms care. Wills don't mean a thing when the government is paying for a persons care. The house will no longer be an exempt asset when she passes. I sold my Moms house after her death and Medicaid was paid what was owed them. By the time the outstanding taxes were paid and my out of pocket, the 3 beneficiaries got 3k each.
You need to call your local Social Service Dept and talk to a Medicaid caseworker and run this but them. Your siblings also need to get the correct info.
If they could pay the bills and taxes, we probably wouldn't have an issue with them staying for a while. We know that even though he has financially supported them, they have also spent a great deal of their energy that they didn't initially expect to spend on his care. When they moved in, they expected it to be temporary and it became much more permanent as his health declined. But considering the actual situation it wouldn't be feasible not to sell the house as quickly as possible if he wasn't paying the bills any longer.
It wouldn't be about getting 'our share'. It would be about whether they could pay the bills on the house, maintain the house and pay the taxes. If they can't pay those, and we don't have the additional funds to do so, then we risk losing the house altogether and that is not something any of us want.
So I ultimately, I guess my question is, are you able to maintain the home and pay all of the bills on your own while you continue to live there? Could there be any potential Medicaid clawback that could leave you without the home in the future? Do you have a backup plan? I would certainly suggest talking to a lawyer about your specific situation. Ours is pretty cut and dried because the sibling can't pay the bills on the home so there are no other options. And it's not personal for us. It is just the only option we have.
1. Mom or Dad has SS & retirement $ & savings to pay for all costs on fully owned home (taxes, insurance, utilities, etc). Mom has $ to pay for health insurance / care and is NOT on community based Medicaid.
So Yankee a ? for you, right now is your mom fully able to pay all property costs and all her living costs & some $ for emergency repairs without worry? There is no mortgage, right? And this allows you to save most of the $ you make from your PT job? So that you have a nest egg that could cover property costs for still in her name house for somewhere btw 2, 3- maybe 4 years? If not, how much could you save up for the future?
If mom dies & never was on Medicaid, then terms of her will are what happens. So if in will assets evenly divided by ea sibling / heir, then that’s what happens. No deduction from house $ from your share cause you lived there rent free unless there is specific terms in moms will as to that. Should you want the house, you would need to buy out siblings share & you become the sole owner. All done via probate court filings.
BUT
2. should she go onto Medicaid, situation changes dramatically. If she goes into a facility, LTC Medicaid requires copay of basically all mo income to facility. All she gets to keep is small PNA / personal needs allowance which tend to b $50-60 mo. PNA used for replacing toiletries, clothing or perhaps paying in room phone or cable. Will be no-nada-zero of moms $ anymore to pay anything house.
Property costs & maintenance fall to family. I doubt Sissy will pay a penny, so could you afford all property costs for 2-5 years? Often family is totally unaware of Medicaid copay requirements.
Also as home is still totally moms, is she were to sell it, mom cannot gift any $ to Sissy or you, etc. If mom does this, it creates a transfer penalty that keeps her from being eligible for Medicaid. In order to file for LTC Medicaid, mom needs to be living in the NH, so by the time the penalty emerges, mom will have a hefty bill at the NH. And NH will go after whomever in the family they can to get paid, like Sissy; they can file for a judgement against your mom and get their own lien placed on the home via a judgement.
Other compliance issues with Medicaid will also come into play.... If you were living there as her full time caregiver her past 2 years, your free room&board can be considered in-kind compensation & if you can provide documentation as to that to the state then IF mom were to go onto Medicaid, you submit documentation to get an ok for you to continue to live there WITHOUT paying rent. The documentation on 2 yrs prior CG role will also come into play in part 3 as an exclusion to MERP (Medicaid Estate Recovery) after her death. Documentation might be a on letterhead statement from her MD or SW as to her care needs along with the ICD-10 codes for health issues.
Realize If she goes onto Medicaid, every day she is creating tally of costs paid that state is required to attempt a recovery on. For example, if your state pays NH a daily room&board $254.00, after 1 year her tally for recovery might be $92,710.
3. After death Recovery done via MERP, & how MERP runs is very interdependent on your states property & probate laws and administrative code for Medicaid. Some states place a proactive lein on the property from day 1 of Medicaid while the elder is still alive; other states have it as an after death recovery. If there are exclusions, exemptions, it’s on the heirs to keep track on these and submit after death. Like some allow for taxes, insurance to be administrative code exemption from the tally.
But imho worrying about what happens after death is NOT something to get fixated on right now.
The big decision is..... what is best for your moms health and safety???
If your doing FT CG and PT other work, you’re going to burn out if you’re not there already. So what do you think is best for her.... like does she need extra paid CGs to come over 3 or 4 times a week to augment what you do? And does mom have the $ to pay for this? Or is she needing 24/7 oversight in a facility? Is she competent and cognitive enough to understand what needs to happen?
If not, who is moms DPOA? and can the family actually make a decision as to where to move mom & will DPOA do what is needed?
Regarding your situation, you are actually a tenant and your pretty safe in staying there for most areas even after mom moves into a NH till push comes to shove. You’d need to pay utilities (unless you can get them prepaid for a few months before mom goes into a NH) but other than those, I’d tell Sis that your not paying any other costs as you’re there as a caretaker of property. If she wants you out, she or DPOA would have to evict you & that takes time. It is not in anyone’s favor to leave a house vacant..... let Sissy mull that over.
If you cannot afford house costs & siblings won’t pay costs, then realistically the house needs to get sold.
If Medicaid involved, house needs to be sold at FMV/ Fair Market Value. All $ from house sale is totally & completely considered moms $. Sissy cannot take her “inheritance share”. $ will have to be used to private pay for NH, perhaps repay Medicaid costs to date. Mom might be able to buy a preneed funeral/ burial policy. If modest home, there might be no $ left at all after awhile of NH private pay. Sissy needs to realize that moms selling her home is NOT a windfall of $ to Sissy.
Sis probably is clueless on the costs of care, isn’t she?
Sissy needs to realize that by your living in the home and there for mom, you have enable mom to stay in the home at minimal costs for over 2 years. Don’t let Sissy discount all that you do.
Only possibly if it should sell in 450-550K range (550K is max property value allowed for most states LTC Medicaid homestead asset limit), could there might be money left after the 2.5 yr average stay (then death) in a NH.
Elder can keep old homestead, but family have to all be in agreement & committed to paying & doing whatever needed on the property for years. Avg NH stay is 2.5 yrs then 2 yrs post death to settle estate, so 4-5 yrs of house costs. I’ve been on this site a long time & what seems to happen is that mom moves into a NH and everyone is all “govmint not gonna take grannies house” for 6-9 months, then when property taxes & insurance premiums come due that all falls apart. House ends up being sold & all costs kids paid cannot be reimbursed as it could be considered gifting.
The exemptions and exclusions and cost benefit aspects of MERP only matter if you have the wallet, time and sense of humor to ride it out for possible years & years and likely to prevail in your documentation on exemptions, etc. after death. & all heirs in agreement and behave. You likely have CG exemption but if you cannot afford house, that exemption does zero good unfortunately.
If you know that’s just not possible to keep the home, it’s imo best to have mom sell now before Medicaid involved and she private pays for care as she’ll have more options.