Hi everyone,
I recently received my CNA training and began caring for an elderly resident about a month ago. I was hired by the resident's son through my CNA professor. I am having a very hard time connecting with the resident and getting her to open up to me. She does not seem to want to do much of anything and her son is very adiment about getting her to do more activities.
Does anyone have any tips for a new caregiver on how to get the resident to cooperate better and how to connect with her better? Any help would be very appreciated.
Does her son think that you are a miracle worker? Just do what you have been trained to do. You have tried to get her to engage in activities. What has been her response? How old is she?
I feel for you because of your resident’s son. He seems to be applying unnecessary pressure. Tell us more about her son.
If you know that you are doing a satisfactory job, be confident that you are doing all that you can possibly do.
Others will chime in with their feedback.
Best wishes to you and thank you for caring for our elderly.
My mother is at the late stage of Alzheimer's. She enjoys going out, car rides, arranging flowers, watching funny shows, listening to music. She can still hang her clothes, fold towels, match up socks, sweep the floor. The last one is questionable though. Haha. I have to re-sweep the floor after she does.
What is your senior capable of doing? And what does she enjoys doing? Her son might be able to tell you if she doesn't want to tell you. Once you know, you can invite her to do those activities together while telling her about yourself and your family, then ask her about herself and her family.
Thanks for weighing in. I appreciate your experiences regarding ALZ.
What about her depression? Forgive my ignorance but let me ask you, is depression common with ALZ?
My daddy had a stroke and he had depression due to losing his ability to speak, drive, etc.
It is depressing facing medical challenges, ALZ, stroke, Parkinson’s disease like my mom has or numerous other issues.
With time you will learn to speak with families, to help them understand that their LO is now very tired, and while they cannot understand, some day they will. You will be able to teach them how to accept. But as a new CNA this is a lot to take on. It's my fear it could burn you out, because graduating from any level of education on care to the level of GIVING care is the time when you run into a wall of reality that can be depressing. We all get by that wall if we keep climbing. But to start with a son in denial is asking a lot.
Just my opinion. You will now have assessed what Mom is capable of doing and what she wishes to do. You some day will be strong enough to be able to explaining gently but firmly that your duty is to the loved one. To keep them clean, comfortable, exercised whether active or passive, fed, entertained, and to the family understand their loved one's illness.
You will know if this is not going well. If not, then you may need to sit with the son and tell him that you feel that you are not the right one to help him with the care of his Mom. That his requirements of his mom are not some that in your opinion she can rise to. That certain things cannot be fixed. And that perhaps he should seek replacement.
You will, in this situation come to know what is right. Remember, you are the patient's advocate, no matter WHO HIRED YOU.
Good luck and joy. If this position doesn't work out just remember, you are on a journey. You will become stronger at each step.
Thank you so much for your response.
I think that part of the problem may be that I am new to this career and have not quite learned how to communicate effectively with the patient and especially with her family.
In the short time I've spent with the patient I have learned some of the tings she likes to do and what She doesn't seem very interested in. I am worried that our lack of connection is keeping me from giving her the best care possible. She is not willing to let me help her with basic ADL's like bathing, brushing teeth, or chaining clothing. I am mainly helping cook her meals and keeping her comfortable while trying to get her to participate in any activity.
I am going to try and continue connecting with her and see if we can build a stronger relationship. Thanks again for your help.
A music session could follow something you've done for her, something to make her comfortable and relaxed, but not necessarily something physical like bathing. Let the music relax her and see if the two of you are able to interact after the in-home concert.
If her son's willing, he could buy flowers, secretly give them to you and let you present them to her. Even picks of artificial flowers can be soothing, and no one has to worry about watering them. Hopefully she'd then think kindly of you when she sees the flowers.
I think it's also important to remember that you're someone new in her life, and perhaps in her opinion she may feel you're intruding on her privacy (as would any care person), and may need time to get used to you.
I want to thank everyone for their responses. It feel very nice knowing there is support from more exercised caregivers out there. I really like the idea of using music to connect with her. In my training we learned just how powerful music can be, especially with patients who have memory problems.
As far as my client she is in her late 70s to 80s and have very early stages of possible dementia but I don't think she has been diagnosed. She mainly suffers with short term memory loss. She was put into a nursing home by her son and then contracted covid and was in a unit for several months.
I believe her son understands that she is weaker and can't do much but wants to see her improve in her physical and mental health. I have tried to interact with her using games, cooking, doing puzzles and reading magazines. She has not expressed any interest in these activities and usually just wants to sit watching TV. I am also having a hard time getting her to take a bath or even change out of her pajamas.
I thin that this might improve as we get to know each other but Im worried she will never trust me enough to let me help her with ADL's. Thanks again to everyone for their responses.
Be honest with her son. It sounds as if he cares. This is an adjustment for all involved.
You seem to be a insightful, dedicated and caring individual; I think over time you'll begin to see changes, and how you can relate to her. And best wishes for that time!
There are different Dementias with different type of symptoms but some basic ones too. The brain is dying. Short term, not being able to reason or process what is being said. Because of short term memory loss they cannot learn something new. Not much you can do with the mental. There are meds that may help with cognitive ability but after a while they don't work. Physically he can get a doctor's order and have some in home OT/PT to help strengthen her.
Another suggestion is don't ask "Mrs. S would you like to take a bath" Because you will probably get a no. You can nicely say "Time for a bath to make you feel fresh and clean". They are like small children and when asked to do something will say No.
Your profile doesn't indicate where you are so search on Alzheimers Assn., Creating Confident Caregivers course to see if there are any branches near you.
Apparently the course is still being offered, at least in Michigan.
There was a small group of us, 6 or 8 if I remember correctly. A textbook and other resources were provided. We discussed the "lessons" as well as our own interactions, questions, solutions, coping issues, etc. It was taught by a licensed professional, but I can't remember her field right now.
One of the aspects was assessing situations, problem solving, and identifying alternate solutions.
Our group met at a conveniently located Jewish Welfare Federation, where fresh coffee and pastries awaited us each time we met.
It's well worth the time; I wish I'd taken the course twice. I still have all my notes and text though.