She wakes up in a bad mood, screaming at her boyfriend who lives here too. He does the maintenance here. Shes paid room and board and expects everybody else to do what he was hired for. She sleeps all day doesn't check on her boss. Fusses and complains if he messes in the bed and then let's him lay there for hours st a time, sometimes days. She's become very mean towards him and anyone that comes to the house. She's been asked to leave and she said she'd leave when she was ready..
2. First of all, you want to look to the safety and health of the person she is supposed to be taking care of. Try calling Adult Protective Services or any government elderly affairs office to see if there is anything that they can do.
3. If he is not being properly cared for, hire someone else to do it even if the caregiver and boyfriend are still on the premises. If the caregiver abuses the new caregiver, document it. Assure the new caregiver that you're working to get rid of the abusive caregiver as fast as you can. You may have to pay the new caregiver a bonus for putting up with this malarkey.
4. She pays rent but do you pay her for caregiving? Is any of that in writing?
5. Rules and statutes differ from place to place, but it's probable the caregiver and her boyfriend are tenants. Check this out.
6. If you have a written lease or anything in writing with either of them, locate these documents and read them carefully.
7. If you have a written employment agreement, locate it and read it carefully.
8. Check to see if your city or county has a landlord-tenant resource office. They may be helpful in guiding you through the eviction process.
9. Usually there are many legal reasons you can evict a tenant. Probably the most common is failure to pay rent. The boyfriend probably would be considered a tenant as he was to do maintenance in return for living in the house.
10. If you can find evidence he is failing to do the agreed-upon maintenance, that might be enough to evict him. This will probably be difficult if there's nothing in writing.11. Check with your city or county. Some allow eviction if you've decided that the property is no longer going to be used as rental housing.
11. Your next step is for you or whoever has the authority to start eviction proceedings. The easiest thing is to get a landlord-tenant attorney but check to see if your jurisdiction can walk you through the process. Eviction can be involved but it's not impossible to do yourself if you strictly follow the rules.
12. If either or both of them become verbally or physically abusive get a restraining order.
13. They cannot do whatever they want on the property. If the are damaging the property by omission or commission, document it. If they are abusing the person being care for and you have evidence of this and APS is not responsive, call the police.
14. Put up cameras.
15. In fact, before you do anything, including calling APS, document the state of the property and the person being cared for. Use you phone to take video and/or photos, preferably when the caregiver/boyfriend are not there. Be aware that some phones don't have a time stamp.
16. Do not get into a fight with these people. The caregiver doesn't sound stable.
17. Now, I am going to wag my finger at you: Never hire anyone without a written contract. Never rent property without a lease. Whenever you are putting together an agreement, put it in writing. Be aware that everything here is a suggestion and not legal advice.
18. Finally, you and your loved one have my sympathy. In fact, my family has sort of been there. We had a woman referred to us by an old family friend.. She turned out to be a thief, constantly handing in incorrect time sheets. One day, my sister, who handled my dad's finances, asked her about another incorrect time sheet. The woman, much larger than my sister, banged into her with her chest. She then started chasing her down the stairs and only stopped when my father came to see what was going on. My sister left and I came to the house. I told the caregiver to sit down and be quiet. She started babbling a defense and I told her I didn't want to hear it. My sister, who had the financial POA, fired her over the phone. I told her to leave immediately, and she did.
Sorry, this is complicated now by the caregiver living with you, muddied into being a tenant and not a caregiver. I wish you luck.
If she won't leave with a 'gentle' warning, you can get tough and call the police, I guess.
Why have you allowed this person to be in your home and neglecting your LO?
If she won't go without a fight, pack her stuff, change the locks and get a restraining order. The BF? Why is he even there? These two sound like a real package deal.
I have read so much the past several years about people hiring caregivers or renting rooms and it is almost impossible to get rid of them.
I would hire a gorilla to escort them off the property and make sure all their personal belongings go, as well as, being paid in full with a signed release that specifically states they are not allowed on the premises ever again and doing so would constitute trespassing.
Being grouchy every morning isn't a crime, neglecting and verbally abusing a vulnerable senior is.
Whoever hired this person is the responsible person and the caregiver, and the boyfriend should be terminated (as in fired..not "Terminator" terminated)
It is possible though that this may get into a more in depth legal doings. It is possible that this "live in caregiver and boyfriend" may have to be legally evicted from the house.
This is a case where talking to an attorney might be in order.
BUT...
If at anytime you think this caregiver or the boyfriend might harm the person they are supposed to be caring for. If there is a threat of violence call 911 and say that you are afraid for your safety or that of another member of the household.
If the caregiver is not doing what they are supposed to be doing and leaving the person they are supposed to be caring for soiled, hungry, without food or drink contact APS and report the situation.