I need some support. Mom is really weak. She either falls out of bed or falls using the potty. She doesn't walk very much and her legs are weak. Daddy is strong but when he has to pick her up, it hurts his back. Last night, she "fell out of bed" and Daddy had to pick her up with his feet. He can't afford night care. They have a caregiver during the day until 4:00 each evening. Please give me some ideas.
PT and OT would be my first thought. Second thought would be to ask one of their physicians about ordering a hospital bed with rails to prevent your mother falling out of bed. I am curious though how this happens - does she turn over and slip out of bed, or is it when she's trying to get up?
There are also various hand holds that can be added to a bed that isn't a hospital bed to provide support for someone. I'm not sure about adding side rails though.
For some with dementia, there might be an issue of becoming caught in the hand rails, so this is something that might be discussed with one of your parents doctors and/or an occupational therapist.
Another possibility is to add the kind of protection pads used by hospitals underneath sheets. I think they're primarily for incontinency accidents, but they also create enough adhesion to the mattress that it's harder to move. When I was in the hospital last year I had a lot of trouble moving around because of the pad.
Since your mother doesn't walk much, she could strengthen her legs sitting down by using one of the pedalers. They're essential bike pedals mounted on a frame and can be put on a table and used to increase arm strength or on the floor to increase leg strength - assuming a therapist would agree that it's appropriate to engage in that kind of activity.
The pedalers look like these: activeforever/pedal-exercisers. You can get them cheaper through some catalogues though.
Does your mother use a walker or rollator? Commode? Are there grab bars on the bathroom walls? Elevated toilet?
PT/OT can assess your home situation. Any physician can write a prescription for home health.
Make sure father knows not to pick her up because she could be injured, or both could be injured further. I would suggest (in the summer), he put a lightweight yoga mat near her, with bedding, have her roll onto that and rest, with a cover. He could stay with her until she could maneuver to get up.
Before we criticize, could we all just think about what is soooo very bad about sleeping on the floor awhile? Didn't our kids do just that on sleep-overs growing up? The suggestions above are very excellent if one doesn't want to try unorthodox procedures.
Then, there is always the "Lifeline" pendant alarms. A neighbor signs up to be called/signaled and comes over as the first responder. This would work if it is only occasional and they have good neighbors. Try that for awhile.
Would your Mom consider moving to assisted living? If yes, would your Dad follow her there or would he still dig in his heels?
Curious why your Mom keeps falling out of bed? Wonder if the bed is now too small... my parents still sleep in a double bed which doesn't give one much room to roll over. A king size would be perfect if there is enough room in the bedroom.
Add my parent to the list of nonbudgers.
Your dad needs to call 911 each and every time mom falls. They will come and check her out to be sure that nothing is broken or if somewhere is bleeding. Also they will get her off of the floor. They say that more often than not, the hip breaks and then they fall, not the other way around. She needs to be checked over for breaks, bruises and cuts. Their blood is usually so thin and their skin is too. And the bones are brittle. Maybe after a while of this, dad will realize that they need more help than he thinks.
At the very least, hire a night time aide.
This issue of nonparticipative siblings has been discussed so frequently here. I'm leaning toward the position of being more aggressive and asking them specifically how, not if, but HOW they can help out.
Don't your parents have Medicare? It pays for ambulance service. As many times as I've called 911 for my father, he's never had to pay a cent.
I would have to take more action. It sounds like he's not dealing with it well and isn't putting your mom's needs first. I think I would have to step and advocate on her behalf.
As to your older son, it sounds as if he's making some bad decisions; there's only so much you can do and if you don't have bail money, you just don't have it. Perhaps being incarcerated until his hearing will help him see the light and help him rethink his behavior.
Commercial links are usually deleted if posted here, so just Google "friendly beds" and you'll see examples.
I'm wondering if your parents ate dinner earlier, if there might be less need to get up at night, as that seems to be the "falling hour". I don't know of anything offhand but I'm wondering also if there's a way an alert system could be used to wake up your father at these times. Maybe something like a pressure sensor that indicates a shift in your mother's position, or battery operated sensor on the edge of the bed where she'd had to move to get up out of bed?