Past 4 months I’ve been trying to not go out of the home. Anyone else starting to get depressed?

I have asthma, so am in the high risk group as well, but I am a full-time caregiver for my husband who is bedridden, so for my mental health's sake, I have to get out and about. I refuse to live in fear like our government would like us all to, so I do go out shopping, and meet friends for lunch or supper. The pros of doing that definitely out weigh the cons. You can still take precautions while you're out and about, and you'd be amazed how much better you would feel just to be able to get out of your house and get a change of scenery. It has worked wonders for me and my mental health. I highly recommend it. We as humans are not designed to be apart from other human beings. We need each other to survive and thrive.

Yes. I LIKE being on my own, but I had a few days' much-needed leave from work last week and I was bored out of my skull, and I haven't seen two of my children, or my granddaughters, for months. Yes, it is becoming difficult.

The thing that strikes me, though, Martz is - if you shut yourself away at home, is that any better than being alone in a hospital room?

This is perhaps more of a dilemma for much older people. It's all very well to sit out the crisis for a few more weeks/months if you then have a realistic prospect of a gradual return to a more normal way of life. But if you're 95 and in poor health the risk/benefit equation alters radically. You could spend your remaining few weeks dodging Covid successfully but what good is that if you never see the people who care about you? I'm fast losing count of the number of clients who say they might as well be dead.

I'm in semi-lockdown with DH who is WFH. ('nuff said!)

Yesterday, I simply got in the car and went for a long aimless drive. Didn't stop for food or anything, just drove.


Luckily for me, after quarantining from the grands for 2 weeks+ way back at the start of this--we have relaxed a little and do outside social distancing, but the grands always forget so they will run up and hug me and want to talk about what's going on in their lives. I have missed that love and affection so much.

2/3 of the families are going back too school...starting as soon as August 17th...one family is going to 'regular school'--one has options as to how they can join in, and one is going to homeschool until Thanksgiving break, at least. They are all 'right' in what's best for their kids and we support them.

My only problem with all of this has been that I was really looking forward to a 'normal' year after a year of cancer. My spirits are very low and I am very depressed and also anxious. If I KNEW there was definitely going to be a vaccine in, say, October, I could deal with this better. Just so much stress for so long. It's getting to everyone, really.

I personally hope that we have all learned some valuable lessons from not just the pandemic and our place in the world, but also from all the civil unrest...that has just made it all worse. I only follow as much news as I can stomach and then I do not talk about it or have the news on all day. There isn't a news station I truly trust and I'm anxious enough for one lifetime.

As far as the two 90 yo mothers in our lives--we have totally stayed away from them. As per their choice, altho it has been just fine with me.

Dear "Martz06,"

Yes, it can be depressing especially when you have underlying health issues and I have to say even those who are relatively healthy have contracted the virus and suffered greatly. I think we can see how the new year 2020 started out. For the most part like any other year and then suddenly it's pure pandemonium with this unknown virus like we've never seen before - even with the Spanish Flu of 1918.

My husband and I always use to go out to dinner to all our favorite places, not because I didn't know how to cook but, because of being a caregiver for the past 16 years and not taking any real vacations for at least the last 8-10 years so we just wanted to enjoy "something." Part of it is we all need to have something to look forward to and a lot of that has been taken away. As "funkygrandma59" alluded to, we are designed for human connection - to talk face to face with someone, give them a hug or hold a hand so this goes against the grain.

Some of us are more willing to take risks - I'm not one of them. As an only child and not having any other of my mom's family involved in her care as well as living in other states, I can't afford to get sick so I've been laying low. Also, my husband and I don't have any children and I wouldn't want him to be alone to deal with everything. That means grocery shopping every two weeks instead of once a week, doing some online shopping and having it delivered or getting it curbside. This is so not me - I'm 57 and used to running around here and there all the time plus not to mention fooling around with putting a mask on whenever I arrive somewhere!

So now usually every Sunday my husband and I go for a scenic drive, find a new coffee house and go through the drive-thru and often times go through some new housing developments (since we were supposed to be buying a house this year) which nine times out of ten has a park with a lake or waterfalls and have our coffee there. I go home make a few quick and easy snacks with a small glass of wine and we relax on the couch and rent a movie. Since my husband is still working for the company he has for the last 27 years but now is doing it all from home, I do the yardwork which gets me outside and keeps me active.

Can you set up a nice little table and chairs on your back patio and find something you like to do? Maybe work on a puzzle (that's great for taking your mind off things), read, enjoy a cup of coffee, tea or whatever you like to drink, I have some hand held games like Solitaire, Yahtzee etc. At least you could be outside and get some fresh air. Make the area real nice so it feels like something special. Maybe putting some pretty potted flowers around. I have some nice artificial trees that I put little white lights on. Those are just a few ideas/suggestions. I know they can't replace the things we've done all our lives but if that's all there is, we have to make the best of it.

Just know you aren't alone by any means in having "cabin fever" - I'm in a funk today too! Take care and I hope you are able to come up with something to help get out of the stagnation that is inevitable under such conditions as these.

Martz - The air outside isn't full of COVID virus. In fact, sun light kills the virus. Unless you're in the path of someone's breath/sneeze who happens to be infected, you're safe.

At the start of this COVID thing, officials were worried that COVID would spread among the homeless population. Hah! That didn't happen. The homeless people who got sick were the ones who stayed INSIDE a shelter, being close to other people. Those who are outside are just fine.

So, if you want to go out, go out. Just don't get close to anyone. If you do, then wear a mask, but it''s better to keep a distance, because even with a mask, you still can inhale the virus from someone who is close by that is spewing their lung's content out (like the protesters.)

Also, wash your hands. Don't touch your face, mouth, eyes, nose with unwashed hands.

One of my dear friends is 82. She lives by herself, she goes shopping, doctor's appointments, etc. just as she always does, but she wears a mask and keeps a distance, and washes hands.

It is safe to be outside. So, go out and enjoy some sunshine and fresh air.

As to dying alone in hospital try to ease your mind. If you choose no ventilator (I won't be taking one up) they will keep you under with morphine and it will go very easy; if you choose to take vent they will keep you medicated so you don't automatically "buck" the vent. You will be sedated. Many do not remember any time in ICU at all, if you talked to people. So try to ease your mind on that one if that is what is stopping you.
My partner and I speak of this. Now we mask up good and head out once every two weeks to stock up, and it is almost surreal, almost like a sci fi movie, almost otherworldly. As a young woman with babies and at home a lot I became agoraphobic with some panic attacks, and I can feel that could be a problem. I am able to force myself past these things and these feelings, but yes, we are all suffering and we are all scared of different things.
I couldn't be with my bro when he fell ill, went on hospice at his AL, and died. That was hardest for me so far.
Glad you brought up the issue.

Martz, I dont know where you live, but here, I go out, but cautiously. I walk around, wearing a mask; and stay 6 feet away from folks. I have a friend who I meet on a park bench: we sit 6 feet apart and take off our masks to talk.

Can you do something like that?

“We are all in this together”. Try to write down some nice things you are grateful for each day and make a tentative plan to get out, if only for a walk. Thinking about positive things helps chase away the “blues”.

Had to get away from bickering niece a few days ago. Left her alone for a few hours. Took mom, brother and myself for takeout and to a local ice cream farm. Very safe, double masked and ate in car. Had a wonderful time, no bickering and just nice to be alone for a change with people that are so pleasant. Did you ever notice some people get more on your nerves than others, especially confined to the house, and no where to go!! I miss my privacy!
Here is the story that led up to this. Niece keeps putting dirty towels in the back of sink, I am a clean freak and with the corona more so . Also the counter top is laminate so wet with raise up the countertop .My father put this in when we were kids, it is in great condition and I want it to stay that way. Told her this since she was 12 now 35. Love her, but some days impossible to live with her