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She is getting up a couple times at night to use the bathroom. Every time I hear the buzzer I want to cry because I can't get back to sleep. I don't want to put her in a diaper because I don't want her to loose the sensation to go but something has got to give.

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If you would like your mom to be on a sleeping pill discuss it with her Dr. But if you give her medication at night it might be a good idea to put her in some Depends in case she sleeps through the urge to go.

This situation is always a fine line. You want your mom to sleep through the night so you introduce a medication but then if she does wake up in the night she's liable to be groggy and sleepy which can increase her chances of falling. Or she may not get up at all and need her linens changed in the morning. But without the medication you are up and down yourself all night and not getting the rest you need.

Talk to her Dr. I'm sure there's something mild the Dr. can try.
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I do not have dementia myself but can answer as a person who gets up to pee. I am female and I get up to pee because I have a full bladder. I empty it and then I go back to bed. This is due to biological need. In the morning, my bladder is full again. I am not upset by my own biological need. I try to be quiet should anyone be near me, however, I live by myself. When I was at conferences and had to sleep dormitory style I recall one person was bothered upon hearing me pitter-patter in the night and asked for a room change. Whose need is it to stop this behavior, yours or your mother's? I take it you are taking her to the bathroom so she will not fall, and then, you cannot get back to sleep. Who needs the pill, then, you or your mom? Maybe you should consider one of those sound wave apps you can download from Google Play or Apple completely free. These are much safer than pills and use sound to relax you. There are no dangerous side effects and no morning grogginess. You can also adjust these and control them yourself. This is different from hypnosis, no worries about "suggestions" you cannot control.

I know myself I need to pee. To not empty a full bladder means risk of infection or just plain discomfort. Or, if I had a weak sphinctor muscle, I'd wet the bed. Actually, I consider it a blessing that one of the human body's automatic alarm clocks is the full bladder, which sends signals to the brain to wake up. Many people don't even realize it but use their bladders to wake them each morning, and get to work on time. God bless nature, to keep responsible workers showing up each day.
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My mom has dementia and diabetic. Getting up 8 times a night to assist her after three years (and each time it took 15-20 minutes I was a mess. ) sleep deprivation. Talked mom into using a diaper. Prepared the bed so the change in the morning would only need the top covering. It's very important for you to smother her behind with TRIPLE PASTE SO she doesn't frail her sensitive skin. Yes she takes 7.5 mg of temazapan for sleeping. Wakes up rejuvenated and refreshed. When she gets up I wash her up immediately change clothing cup of coffee and then a bath. Ideal
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Oh forgot to say. Railings up at night. She doesn't mind it any longer. Bit of a struggle T first. So far as the diapers Te concerned. A diaper is not sufficient. You need to use a tens for maximum absorption. Is she doesn't agree with the diaper thingie I had to wear one and show her it's not a bad thing. It gives me rest and security and freedom. Once she saw this of course I didn't wear mine. Lol
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Before my mom died, i put a baby monitor in her room so she could call me. She had a bedside commode that she used. Also check w/her doctor but you might want to try Benadryl. 25 mg. It's just an antihistamine & you can buy it otc. Also, i put a chux under her in case she had an accident. I think you can find them by the depends. Good luck with your mom.
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My mom gets very agitated and her days and nights are mixed up. She gets up at night to pee and then starts wandering all over the house. I have to get up with her and talk her back into bed. This happens 6-8 times every night. I' trying Tylenol pm and it helps a little bit. I am exhausted by morning. So - I feel your pain!
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My mom was diagnosed with an overactive bladder, getting up every hour was not uncommon. The Urologist said as you lay and telax at night so does your bladder. After trying many different medications, Gelnique worked the best for mom. A couple of years later she started asking to go to bathroom quite often and this is when a very small does of seraquil was added. I explained to mom that i was not able to lift her with this medicine in her and she agreed to putting on a pair of pull ups with a oad at night. Many times I would have to say that it was ok to just pee, she had the pants on that she would get the bed wet. Was a long process but it finally worked and we both were able to get some productive sleep. I asked our doctor about Benadryl and was told that this was one drug that he does not recommend for the elderly. Good luck, this is not an easy fix , trial and error.
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I hear you trying to meet your mother's needs and your own, and wonder if you could get someone to come in at night so you can get some sleep?
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I know how difficult this is. My mother has a bedside commode which helps but it still doesn't address the issue of her waking up few times a night to void. We have all agreed not to use adult diapers as that's to our advantage not her. We are trying to maintain the little dignity she has left. Because she has fallen 3 times in past few years, giving her a night sedative would make her chance of falling even greater due to grogginess. And besides medicating her to prevent her need to void is, again, for our advantage. Have you tried something natural like Melatonin at night? This helps her to naturally sleep but if she needs to void, she needs to void. Stagnant urine in the bladder will eventually cause urinary tract infection which makes her totally confused, more than her normal. I really don't know what the answer is for you to get some sleep. Only suggestion when your sleep is severely compromised is to hire someone while maybe you sleep in the other room. You can't be any good to anyone else if you're not getting your own sleep. Good luck and believe me, I know what it's like.
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Ask her doctor about Seroquel. That is the only thing that seemed to calm my mom down enough so that she could sleep, and get back to sleep once she got up from going to the bathroom.
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MIL was put on oxybutynin for over active bladder, seems to help. Although she uses a diaper she is well aware she needs to go and often makes it. Diapers should only be a last resort, leads to skin break down and bedsores. MIL is still "with it " enough that she knows she needs to clean herself after an "accident". As and the name gives aware the statement "Ibeenscammed" wrote we all have a biological need to go and a built in timer that reminds us to go but keep in mind these folks are like babies, only going in the wrong direction, they need to go they know they need to go but somewhere between the mind bladder and feet the info gets confused til its too late and accidents happen !! have you ever slept so hard that when you woke your back hurt til you were able to relieve yourself? this is what they feel !!! We all took on this mission to care for our loved one's, mine is my MIL we don't always get along get along worse when outside influences are in play but I made the CHOICE to care for her, No one else will do it and I am that kind of person !! Deal with the choices you made, get help for YOURSELF to handle difficult situations but remember YOU made the choice to do what you do, if you can't then walk away cause in the end your not only making yourself MISEABLE your making your loved one just as miserable !!
Talk to the Dr see what they say about the oxybutynin NAP when they do !! Again it's like caring for your baby, for those of you that have babies, you did what you had to do then and would never consider walking out and leaving them in a filthy diaper, alone in a bed not knowing what is happening or WHY its happening just that it IS happening. Your entire role is to make them more comfortable, more at ease with that is happening, secure and loved ...
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I use an over the counter cocktail to help my husband sleep. I think he's moving towards being a sundowner, however, he can't fall asleep or stay asleep (but naps a lot throughout the day). I give him Benadryl to fall asleep and Melatonin to stay asleep. I can always tell if he hasn't taken his night pills, even when he says he has.
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What makes you think wearing a protective garment (NEVER USE DIAPER) will make her lose her sensation of having to urinate? That is just crazy, and her bed will be protected. As far as you having a "buzzer", remove it if she is only going to the bathroom. You need your sleep and you cannot be a caregiver on zero sleep. My husband comes right back to bed and goes right to sleep wearing a "pull-up" as I call them. You do not want to drug her just because you want sleep. She must go to the bathroom otherwise her kidneys will retain fluid and lying horizontally is very bad for kidneys.
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My Mom had terrible insomnia and her doc recommended we give her 2 Sudafed or any antihistamine before bed. It's non-addictive but makes you drowsy. Worked like a charm. Much love to you and your Mom.
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The problem with an antihistamine is it blocks acetylcholine which is vital for brain connections. Will give a person even more memory issues. The biggest offender is Diphenhydramine. Read Dr. Oz's book...something that will not block anything is melatonin. Try honey and apple cider vinegar (1 tbs each) with some water and it will put you to sleep.
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I am elderly 78 and I take Trazadone, prescribed by my doctor, to help me sleep through the night. I do usually, however, have to get up at least one time to pee, but I am still rather groggy. I go back to bed and fall asleep immediately. Perhaps YOU need a sleep aid?
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Yes bedside commodes help. It's a long haul to the bathroom and this makes it quicker and it's not a urinal...which is helpful but with the commode he can sit and relax. It doesn't help that he is on furosemide because of leg edema due to his chf. I know a half hour trip to bathroom doesn't help with the falling asleep part but this may shorten the time it takes. Hang in there. An overactive bladder stinks...i've had one since i was 10 and am NOT looking forward to when i'm older. Sleeping meds can help but it depends on her health issues. I've tried and it just made dads hallucinations worse so i've learned to deal with it. Having help at night a few times helps so you can get some rest and relax knowing someone is there. Try if you can..i know it's expensive but running on empty sleep won't help either of you. I learned that. Good luck! Hope we helped! :)
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I feel with you. I did not give my husband anything to drink after 3pm. All liquid was had in the morning only. This seemed to work. Ask your doc about a little melatonin.
Maybe hire a person to come in from midnight-6. Just to watch/assist the patient.
It does not have to be an aide. Just someone you trust.
We are all in this together.
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Hellodare.... we do one Trazodone 100MG (Dr. pres. and is NOT addictive) and two 3mg Melatonin caps. Mom sleeps good and sometimes has an accident but we just change things out and shes good to go the next night. We have a mattress protector, a she wears protective underpants and a liner and also has a portapotty and we put a bed pad on the floor between and under the pot. Also, this might irritate some out there but I found the bed pads are a whole lot cheaper and the very same thing over in the pet supplies in the potty pads for dogs. About $10.00 cheaper. Most synthetic drugs have side effects so check that as you go.
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Is this something new with your Ma? It was for my Ma last month, I took her to the doctor and found out it was a UTI. Ma suddenly became disorientated for about 2 weeks to the point that she was not only going to the bathroom she washing up, getting dressed, taking her morning pills and eating breakfast all by midnight. I had her change back to her night gown and put her back to bed and she would do it all again by 3am. We already had a Dr. appt for her chest congestion and I asked for a urine test then. You might want to check into this. Good Luck.
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My Mom went through the same thing as yours Smschaff34, It took me 2 hours to get her convinced that it was not the next day. That is when I started the melatonin along with the Trazodone. The melatonin helps to adjust the metabolic clock to get back on the right time track.
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My mom wears pull ups and she still knows when she needs to go to the bathroom. They are a "just in case" thing. Also if a caregiver needs to do something to make care more convenient and it does not hurt their loved one, don't get so righteous. Someone who is working and has other responsibilities may need sleep to maintain their health. A sleep aid for a loved one is better than a dead caregiver
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You are so right, I fell asleep at the wheel not 3 miles from home and Mom was with me, I drove off the road at a place where it was grassy and I could back right back out the same way I went off but it could have been worse. Mom was asleep also and I guess our Angels were keeping track. I woke up right before a concrete sign stand and put on the break. So YES it is important for the caregiver to get enough rest also.
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My Mom started with pads, then went to pull ups. She would get up in the middle of the night and fall, and it was a nightmare. I couldn't put the rails up on the hospital bed, I was afraid she would choke or get tangled in it. Anyway, we had to put her in a home, we had no other choice, Hardest thing I ever had to do.
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Rails bumpers pull ups with pads and a sleeping pill
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How's her sugar? Pull-ups wont stop her sensation or her going to the bathroom. Perhaps, melatonin, which would help her stay asleep and a pull-up. I actually use a pull-up plus a pad. If she's making it to the bathroom and back safely, maybe a sleeping pill for you is the answer. Or just no buzzer. I had a monitor in Mom's room for awhile, and used to get up every time I heard her move. I finally unplugged it.
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Any of you had kids? Newborns? remember what it was like with the first one, got up several times just to make sure they were still alive? By the 2nd and third you were just happy to get 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep !! Same goes with our "loved one's", at first your more than happy to bend over backwards to ease their way thru and 6 months into it your like Seriously, you can't get your own coffee?
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Wow some of you are super judgmental. I was just asking for a little advice not a guilt trip or lecture. Of course I want to do what's best for her and I do. I never make her feel bad. I use a buzzer because she is completely dependent on me to walk so no, I'm not going to unplug it or taking a sleeping aid myself, thanks. I just didn't know if it was normal to get up twice a night, especially when it happens randomly.
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Christina, yes it is normal. My dad takes a water pill during the day and it is not unusual for him to get up 3 or 4 times each night. With my mom I had to get up with her. My dad is ok going by himself. When my mom started getting up 6 to 8 x per night and she was exhausted the next day is when I was slowly able to convince her to use the pull up so she would be more alert the next day. Wishing you good luck on your journey with your mom .
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