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I am visiting my parents in TN. I am taking my mom back with me and my dad wants to give me POA for both of them. I am leaving on Saturday 7/27 and can’t get an appointment with a lawyer before then. Does anyone have any recommendations on how to get this done?

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Suzie , that's a lot to take on, I'm not up today on the legal aspect, I'm sure someone else will fill you in

I just want you to be sure this is what you want to do. Because it's a lot.

I'm curious at your moms health issues? And your parents age?
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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Hi Suzie
There are forms online that some utilize.
The problem is that the form may or may not cover all the nuances a visit with an attorney might suggest.
These could be important to your parents.
The forms can easily be changed out when the time is more appropriate and you would have these in the interim. A principal can change his or her agent at any time as long as they are competent.
Important is do they want you to be able to act for them at this time or would they want two doctors to say they were no longer competent to make their own decisions?
Are they competent now to sign the form? You list your mom as having Alzheimer’s. An attorney would be able to make a determination of whether your mom understands what she is doing.
Do you have siblings?
Do the parents each want the same agent (you) to be their attorney in fact? Do they have an alternate or perhaps two who are willing to take over should something happen to where you could no longer serve?
Who will look out for dad when you are not there? if your moms condition is advanced enough that dad needed help with her, you aren’t going to have time to take on two would be my concern.
Will your state accept a POA signed in Tennessee? Might be better to take mom to an attorney in your state to make sure she is competent enough to sign. No one can sign for her.
Do you understand the responsibility of being an agent for another? The fiduciary responsibilities? Do you know how to sign under the authority of a POA document removing yourself from financial responsibility? Is your name already on their bank accounts? Many banks won’t accept a POA that doesn’t meet their regulations.
These are a few of the things that come to mind. While having someone we trust to step up is important to each of us, this is a very heavy responsibility that people take on usually without having any idea of how it will affect their lives far reaching into the future.
Know that in some families you can sacrifice your own happiness for the good of the principal and be neither rewarded nor appreciated by the entire family. It is, in many regards, a thankless job.

I am not trying to dissuade you from taking the responsibility. Rather I am wanting you to know more about what you are doing. Think unprotected sex, marriage, big mortgage with an iffy job, divorce, any big step you may have made in the past on steroids.

If the main concern is to have it done for mom, I would see an attorney in your state.

I wish you luck.
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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Beethoven13 Jul 23, 2024
I love the advice and the examples of other big decisions being POA is akin to. I naively took it on with the importance of what to order for dinner or buying a new pair of jeans. Whoa! Did I get a wake up call. Your analogy is spot on in my opinion. Thanks for your candor.
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I’d only do it with an attorney well versed on elder care. I fully admit my surprise when visiting two of these lawyers and learning far more than I expected. There were many considerations and aspects I wouldn’t have thought of with a print and check off form
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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There are many states that now require 2 witnesses. The POA part might need to be filed in probate in some states. Most elder attorneys will ask the client for copies of all assets which cannot be done in a day. If mom is to become a resident of your area and she is competent then you can do it after you establish residency. If she is not cognizant then you are out of luck. Dad also needs to be competent. He can do his own.
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Reply to MACinCT
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Suzie28, I noticed in your Profile that your Mom has dementia/Alzheimers. Is she in the beginning stage or more advanced. If more advanced, do you think she would understand the wording in a Power of Attorney? If not, the Attorney will not let your Mom sign the document.


Best to try to get an appointment with an Elder Law Attorney because they specialize in this field. My parents POA and Will were older than dirt, and was not drawn up by an Elder Law Attorney.... it would have been a financial nightmare if they passed. I quickly got them in for new legal documents.


Is your Mom going back with you for a visit or to move in with you?
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Reply to freqflyer
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Suzie28 Jul 22, 2024
They’re will and POA are very old. My sister was the executor (she passed two years ago), then my brother who is now a drug addict in jail, then me. They did it from oldest to youngest. I am terrified of not getting this done asap and going thru a nightmare. I just can’t find a lawyer in TN who has any openings any time soon. Do you know if there is people online to do this so I won’t have to wait so long for an appointment?
Thanks in advance for your help.
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Your Dad cannot give you Moms POA. POAs arecassigned by the principle. Your Mom is jo longer able to do this because she has Dementia unless in very early stages where she may understand what it means. You need a lawyer here to make sure the POA is on the up and up. Your Dad can assign you his.

Are you planning on caring for Mom? My Mom was easy but caring for her was hard. My life was not my own. Every decision had to be made with Mom in mind. And as a person who likes order and everything in its place, Dementia was too unpredictable for me. Mom did very wellbinvan AL.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Make sure you know what you're getting yourself involved in.
I was assigned POA and didn't know it. I live out of state from my aunt. Knowing this, everything was expected of me to give. Blood, included.
I gave it up. I don't ever want those three words uttered to me again.
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Reply to Tiredniece23
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I see you're already in the will/POA, so why do you need a lawyer? If you're looking for proof of legal authority, you need a death certificate for your sister and confirmation of incarceration for your brother. Make copies for future reference to others who may need them. This should give you the POA until you can get a lawyer to draw up a new contract. You say that you're taking mom,what's happening with dad? He wants you to be POA, does that mean he isn't able to care for her? That might need medical certification for both. This is hard to accomplish if dad is suffering from dementia also. If they are both incoherent, you wouldn't be able to change the will. I'M NOT AN ATTORNEY, I bought mom a CD, "attorney at law"($59?) and she made out the POA /Healthcare directive/Will and had it notarized when she was competent. I don't know why you need this so urgently? The Will/ POA and sisters death certificate and brothers incarceration papers should give you the rightful authority. Good luck!
Being a caregiver is the most thankless job ever.
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Reply to JuliaH
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Suzie ,

Am I mistaken ? Or are you the person who has a bedbound mother in an SNF that you were trying to figure out how to get both your parents to Florida ?

If so what are the plans , with that ? Is Mom going to a facility, or are you taking her home to care for her ? Maybe more info would yield some ideas from folks here. Maybe not , idk .
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Reply to waytomisery
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Suzie28 Jul 23, 2024
Yup. That was me. Plans changed and I am staying here with my parents in TN to care for them until I can find a home for them in Florida and the whole family can be together.
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