My Mother's former caregiver goes to visit several times a month. She always reports back to me that my mother has no shampoo, no soap and some of her clothes are missing. I pay the pharmacy bill that includes medicine and shampoo and soap. For $11,300 a month that includes laundry, I think the Memory Care facility should be more careful with my mother's clothes. I live out of state and have no idea what goes on regarding supplies and clothes. Does anyone else have this problem of no supplies and missing clothes?
In MC, residents are bad about "wandering and plundering" each other's rooms. Other residents have probably taken her things.
I could do that with Instacart? That's an idea and I might do that, as long as they allow it. Wouldn't be much though.
I never had this problem but others have. Aides taking Depends from one resident for another. I took one pack at a time. Thats 30. Moms bathroom had a cabinet with a shelf under it. I would stuff it with Depends putting the rest in the closet. Are u sure that the toiletries u order are getting to ur Mom?
For me, this was the stressful part of having Mom in an AL and then LTC.
I complained to staff that I had to keep searching for it. They had no answers. All her clothes disappear over time so only left her a few outfits and took the rest home to launder. Then all these strange clothes started to show up in her closet. I was told it was stuff from residents who had "passed". Checking name tags I realized that wasn't true. Staff wasn't thrilled when I gathered up all the stuff that belonged to "live" residents and gave it to them to get to the correct residents. It went on and on.
Just before my MIL passed I took home the TV I had bought for her as she was no longer using it (completely bed ridden and slept all the time.) . If the staff had been more cooperative with her stuff I would have let them keep it.
She had good physical care but hoo boy! Everything she owned would grow feet and move to someone else's room.
Missing clothing? It would be wonderful if something could be figured out to keep clothing in the appropriate rooms. It could be disappearing after washing a resident wandering or even mom giving items away.
I used to work in SNF. We would grab anything we could find if we didn't have clothes for instance.
As started above, mark EVERYTHING. & unfortunately bring nothing valuable.
Patients with Alzheimer's walk unknowingly into others rooms!
I came in here to tell you that you are in a bind. Not living in the area is a def issue. So, if you know anyone, college student? Young lady, hire someone to check in her things & HER! they know who's- families aren't around believe me.
I doubt you're able to put her name on anything, but instacart or anyone who delivers will work.
Iinteresting you have her soaps etc in her pharma bill..in calif we don't do that.
Goodluck
Mom has also been claiming her clothes are missing ever since she moved in. Every time I'm there (at least weekly) I check and her clothes are in her closet or hamper. She has this thing about missing clothes, but they aren't missing....
This must be difficult to manage not living close to her. It took me a while to figure it all out living close! Between Mom's dementia, different caregivers and nurses, etc., its hard to tell what's really happening. Plus you also have a former caregiver going in who is a visitor, not an employee. Getting to know them all has helped and I would recommend getting to know the nurse in charge of the care plans via phone. They know what's going on or can look into your issues. For this kind of money, you should be able to get this service and hopefully you will find they do have your mom's best interests at heart and will probably be able to put your mind at ease.
Good luck!
Nursing Homes have had this problem for more than 40 years that I know of. Residents will wander in and out of rooms and take what they want. It's not malicious, they just don't know they are not supposed to do this. Even sewing names into all the clothing doesn't help.
My great-aunt was tall and thin and her clothing constantly disappeared 40 years ago from her nursing home. Yes, her name was in everything but it didn't help the problem.
At first I used to get very upset over every incident. My theory now is not to sweat the small stuff as long as she is safe and getting the proper care. And I recommend visiting often and being observant.
When my MIL was in a NH, I came and got her laundry every week. Three twin size comforters were lost forever. She often ran out of pants, I'm guessing some were thrown away when they got soiled.
I've never had that issue but that would seem the way to find out. First thing that came to mind.
If you trust the caregiver ask her to do it. Or report it to the head of the facility and make sure it's in writing.
That is crazy!
Despite being told that each resident's laundry is done separately, I don't believe it. During her first year there, mom gained 20# (ice cream bars + not participating in any type of exercise or walking) and they asked me to buy some larger underwear. When I checked, there were some 'stretchy' underwear in her drawer. No idea where those came from, they were NOT my mother's, she never wore any like that, mainly cotton undies, perhaps a couple of older nylon, but not stretchy. Clearly someone was missing those!
More recently (we took all underwear when it was time for disposables) when I have visited I see her wearing some top/shirt/sweater combo that I don't recognize. Mom doesn't really walk on her own now, so it isn't likely she took them, more likely they are mixing laundry or just putting items back in the wrong place. Hopefully these items make their way back to the proper owner(s)!
I was a bit miffed when her "Boogie Board" (LCD screen to write messages down when she can't hear/understand) disappeared. She carried that around all the time, usually in her walker basket. Since refusing to walk, she is either in her transport chair or a wheelchair, with no way to carry it. It was not in her room. I figured that was a loss, but after being missing for weeks, it has reappeared! This item is VERY hard to miss. The plastic is hot pink, as is the sleeve it is stored in, and is about 5"x8" - this should be very obvious when seen and she is the only one who has one!!
Since you are not local, having someone either mark the items, put them away in a safe place where they might not be purloined or provide a secure unit to store them in, that only the staff can access might help with toiletries. It will be more difficult to control the clothing issue. While it is a pain to have to purchase more if too many items disappear, ensure she has enough to make do and replace with inexpensive items (I had to buy more clothes because of the weight issue - shopped walmart's clearance racks!)
Clothes still went missing. I walked down to the laundry room myself and found my mother’s clothes.
You can’t do this with being out of town. Unfortunately, clothes do go missing. It’s very common.
My godmother had ALZ and was placed in a nursing home. All of her clothes went missing and she would be dressed in rags. My godmother eventually went blind due to macular degeneration so she was an easy target for theft. She had two sons but one lived out of town and the she had a strained relationship with the other one because she hated his wife. Neither were able to visit often.
I am a receptionist in a Memory Care facility and deal with the residents daily. One gal knocked on the lobby doors the other day and I went to see what she needed. She was holding 3 bathroom items; a bottle of body wash, a stick of deodorant (with a BITE taken out of it), and a bottle of shampoo. They had her name and room number written on them with black magic marker. She demanded to know WHO the items belonged to? I told her they belonged to her, and that I'd help her put them back inside her bathroom cabinet. She had a meltdown, insisting they were NOT hers but 'someone else's'. I said Okay, kept the items at the front desk for an hour, and had one of the care givers put them back in her bathroom later on that day.
The residents have no idea what's going on. This is why the administration suggests each resident have only minimal clothing and bathroom items in their room at any given time, and no items of value AT ALL.
It's important to know that there is no 'malicious intent' involved.......nothing that requires a 'police report' to be filed, nothing about 'stealing' and things of that nature. It's all to do with dementia and loss of reasoning, memory, cognitive power. In the end, the 'stuff' doesn't really matter; it's the CARE that does.
It can be frustrating to have to replace items for a loved one residing in Memory Care, I know, so I feel your pain.
How someone else's clothes get into mom's drawers/closets when they insist each resident's laundry is done separately doesn't add up, but I see no point to bringing this up again. As you say, the care is the important part... I just hope if someone sees their mom's clothes on my mother they don't think she took them!
I bought my dad dollar store products and then I knew that the lovely pampering products were not going home with staff, because that is what happens when people are not paid a living wage, they know that no one will question the products missing and it is to much temptation for some.
What irked me was having to provide TP!! Seriously? Our cost wasn't 11k, but still, it was/is enough that having to bring in TP was ridiculous ... I spent too much time buying and bringing the damn TP in! Finally I was told we didn't have to do this anymore (no notice, just found out after the fact.) They use the cheaper stuff, but I don't care, I can stop running out to buy and deliver it!
(although not top of the line, mom does have Dove soap, plenty of extra bars, and none has "walked" yet, and no other toiletries have disappeared.)
I just put a Tile locator on my mom's brand new wheelchair cushion and I plan to buy two more Tiles: one for her wheelchair itself and the second for her three wheeled rollator.
When I go to my mothers assisted living apartment now, I can't set my purse, keys or coat down for two seconds before she is picking it up or rifling through it. I have to tell her that it is mine and to leave it alone. Now imagine an entire floor of those people doing it...