My father (87) was recently diagnosed with Esophogal cancer and has asked to pursue palliative care rather than surgery or chemo. I speak to him regularly but he is very discreet about his own situation. The woman from the firm that holds his POA and manages his care contacted me today with the following request:
"He is working with his attorney preparing some legal documents and needs some information. Are you able to provide the following?
Your full name
Your date of birth
Your Social Security Number"
I wanted to check first before handing over this information. I contacted my father and he confirmed that he was in touch with his attorney for his will. I contacted his attorney by email asking if I there was a time that I could speak directly to provide this information, rather than email.
The attorney responded "I can understand your wariness when asked to provide personal information. It’s unfortunate that we are living in a world where such caution is advisable." And the attorney included a detailed explanation about the POA person that made the request to me as well as a copy of the current will, testifying to that person's character, then stated "Please let me know if this addresses your concerns."
However, the attorney did not explain what my SS# and birthdate was needed for and did not provide any suggested times that I could be in touch.
Should I continue to insist on a direct contact?
You are smart to ask why the Estate Planning Attorney wants to put your personal information into your father's Estate Planning file. If the Law Office can't provide you with a specific reason, then their request must be part of a general practice of information gathering that was common in another era, but is not acceptable now.
I never ask clients to provide any information unless there is a specific reason that will help advance their case.
Asking for your date of birth could be a valid request: by learning your age the Attorney can help your father allocate assets in his Estate, and make sure that the assets pass to you without unnecessary Probate proceedings.
Asking for your Social Security number might be an unnecessary request. Unless the Law Office will have to file an Estate Tax Return or report a beneficiary distribution or transaction to the IRS, the Law Office won't need that information.
Compare the IRS requirements that must be met by the Custodian of an IRA or 401k Account: the Custodian must have both the birthdate and Taxpayer ID of the account beneficiary in order to make a distribution to the beneficiary. Maybe the Law Office just wants to do a thorough job, and be prepared to provide the information to a bank or financial custodian when the time comes. That is a reasonable.
But it is equally reasonable for you to engage with the person or firm that wants your information, and learn from them why they are asking for it.
When you get a good answer, you will be able to make a good decision about how much information you want to disclose now, and what information you may want to wait to disclose until there is a more definite reason to provide it.
If his estate is large, he may have several folks or organizations getting $. And in order to do the distribution, everybody named in the will has to get their W9 filled out & back to the firm. It’s usually a time sensitive search done, so like if 20 heirs and 2 don’t get paperwork back after 2 or 3 attempts (based on the contact info you provided), those 2 could get left out but 18 who were good on paperwork divvy up $ by 18.
when you send the info in, I’d suggest you do so via certified mail with the return registered card (duo is abt $8.00 USPO) and have a brief memo asking for them to provide you a copy of the will or it’s codicil. I’d think they would provide that to you unless your father specifically has placed in Writing the contents cannot be shared till after death. Probate I think is open records in all states, so you can see it & get a copy from the court once it’s filed after death. But sometimes it’s helpful to know what might be coming you way as often there tax implications on inherited stuff. Also you may want to include a name & contact info for whoever is your beneficiary &/or your spouse. You never know if you might be hit by a bus and predecease 87 yr old dad.
Maybe Dad is setting up a Trust. This info is not privy to u. Maybe for tax purposes the info is needed.
It makes me narrow my eyes and think uncharitable thoughts when lawyers send you long, friendly emails that don't in fact answer your questions. Bear in mind that every time you contact them or they contact you, that bill is getting longer. You can't even send them a rude message saying "of course it doesn't bloody address my concerns, you didn't answer the question, fathead" without their charging your father for 'perusal' time.
Why do you require my social security number and date of birth?
How will this information be used?
How will this information be stored?
After all this, it's probably fine. But you are dead right not to hand out information without good reason, so stick to your guns.
having your name as joint owner now prevents those assets from going through probate (you would already own it). Plus, POA ends with death...so, this would be a good way to make that money/asset available to you immediately.
My Mom did this with me. I have done this with my Daughter.