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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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I had PTSD before but lately it has been rearing it’s ugly head where I am scared to sleep. Mainly dreams and thoughts filled with my Mark dying and feeling responsible. I wake up crying and covered in sweat.
How can you possibly be responsible for the health issues your husband suffers from and him facing the end of his life as a result? Please see your doctor for a referral to a psychiatrist who can talk to you about all of this and also write you a prescription for depression and/or CPTSD.
So many things can "trigger" an episode of PTSD. It is not all loud noises, gunfire, backfiring cars (do cars even backfire now days?) If you are under stress, not getting adequate sleep these even not eating properly can be triggers. I presume you have talked to a therapist. If not it might be time to take some time for yourself and if it has been a while you might want to do a few sessions.
And another thought it may not PTSD again rearing it's ugly head but possibly what you might want to call "anticipatory grief". Again this is something that is worth talking to a therapist about.
I will tell you something that you already know in your head...YOU are not responsible for his condition. But knowing something in your HEAD is different than knowing it in your HEART. For this...let your Head over rule your Heart.
Yeah, I am trying to get better sleep and do take meds for PTSD. I had a sleep study (little mobile unit) and moaned the entire night so I got put on Prazozin. I see about therapy. I have had anticipatory grief for three years since the lung cancer diagnosis which is NED, for now. I think a part of me knows that it being stage III the cancer could make a comeback or I have a nagging suspicion all the pain in some parts of Mark’s body is cancer hiding out. I kind of knew this life I had here in TX would end. If Mark hadn’t gotten I’ll, our marriage was not healthy and being the sole breadwinner was way too much stress. Maybe I am just dealing with grief and lots of realizations at once.
I just feel guilt I shouldn’t. My PTSD hung around for a long time being molested at 13 from my brother-in-law and after years got better but still would yell out and have night sweats. I think I feel guilty moving back to my home state and Mark dying once I leave. I don’t know how long he will live, but I still care and feel like I should have done more. I have stress from the move to. I hate feeling like this.
HI Doggiemom - PTSD is challenging to manage and I understand how so many difficult emotions surface while trying to sleep. Sleep should be a time when one is able to rest their mind and replenish, but with PTSD and caregiving, it sometimes feels extremely hard to do - unpleasant thoughts and fears can flood one's mind. It's understandable.
Please try to be easy on yourself - remind yourself that you're doing the best that you can under a difficult situation and push yourself to switch your thoughts (however challenging that is) to something positive - you're a "doggie-mom", and there's nothing better than pet therapy...focusing on that - being kind to yourself by reminding yourself of your strength, courage and how many positive things you've done to help your husband - and to understand that you are not responsible for your husband's health - and that kind of mindset is setting yourself up for an impossible and unrealistic standard. Also, the more you can do to replenish yourself, the better - such as spending time with others or doing things that you enjoy, it can help to lift your mindset.
Wishing you peace of mind and continued strength ~
What a kind response to DoggieMom, it spoke to me, too. DoggieMom, it's so understandable how you are feeling. I think we become conditioned over time to our situations and then when it changes it takes time to adjust. (((Hugs and))) continue to take care of yourself.
Try acupuncture it saved me . My PTSD was under control But My father became very manic and OCD , temper tantrums , what Not , Odd behavior . I had gained weight . But I did really feel Like I was having a nervous breakdown and went to an acupuncture clinic for 4 years till they Moved . It helped me relax my Mind , gave myself some space to meditate and Not be in a constant state of Panic .
Or is it actually just fear coming from the thought of starting over without your Mark (yes I found it a bit odd that you referred to your soon to be ex as "my Mark"), and you just being really scared about it all? Surely you're not having second thoughts about divorcing him are you? Closing one chapter and starting a new one can be quite intimidating for some folks, and perhaps even more so for someone like you with autism. Starting over can be scary, but I can tell you first hand that it also can be very exciting and even fun. You're going to be ok, and Mark is going to be ok too. You have both made your decisions to move on and move forward without each other, so time now to start looking forward to what the future holds for you.
If I typed that, I apologize. When I use an I-Pad I make typos. Am I afraid of starting again, why lie, yes I am. I am scared, but it is a have to for my mental health and financial health. It is scary but I need to do it.
You have told us of your conditions, and this move will likely bring a lot to the fore. Give yourself time. Moving is full of shocks, and discomforts. You will, I trust, know when you need to seek counseling.
I think it's all normal doggiemom, taking care of my mom brought me back the the mentally unhealthy state I was in 20 years ago before I left me x and changed my life with help of therapy.
I was becoming the old me that I didn't like.
And remember, you are not responsible for mark. Mark is his own person .
He is gone , the stress is gone, you can finally breath!!
Little things trigger memories in people and PTSD pokes it's head into are lives again. Even a smell can be triggering. Give it some time for your life to adjust.
Accuputure has really benefited me too. It is expensive. But it helps
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Best of luck to you.
If you are under stress, not getting adequate sleep these even not eating properly can be triggers.
I presume you have talked to a therapist. If not it might be time to take some time for yourself and if it has been a while you might want to do a few sessions.
And another thought it may not PTSD again rearing it's ugly head but possibly what you might want to call "anticipatory grief".
Again this is something that is worth talking to a therapist about.
I will tell you something that you already know in your head...YOU are not responsible for his condition. But knowing something in your HEAD is different than knowing it in your HEART. For this...let your Head over rule your Heart.
Please try to be easy on yourself - remind yourself that you're doing the best that you can under a difficult situation and push yourself to switch your thoughts (however challenging that is) to something positive - you're a "doggie-mom", and there's nothing better than pet therapy...focusing on that - being kind to yourself by reminding yourself of your strength, courage and how many positive things you've done to help your husband - and to understand that you are not responsible for your husband's health - and that kind of mindset is setting yourself up for an impossible and unrealistic standard. Also, the more you can do to replenish yourself, the better - such as spending time with others or doing things that you enjoy, it can help to lift your mindset.
Wishing you peace of mind and continued strength ~
DoggieMom, it's so understandable how you are feeling. I think we become conditioned over time to our situations and then when it changes it takes time to adjust.
(((Hugs and))) continue to take care of yourself.
Closing one chapter and starting a new one can be quite intimidating for some folks, and perhaps even more so for someone like you with autism.
Starting over can be scary, but I can tell you first hand that it also can be very exciting and even fun.
You're going to be ok, and Mark is going to be ok too. You have both made your decisions to move on and move forward without each other, so time now to start looking forward to what the future holds for you.
Best Wishes.
Give yourself time. Moving is full of shocks, and discomforts. You will, I trust, know when you need to seek counseling.
I was becoming the old me that I didn't like.
And remember, you are not responsible for mark. Mark is his own person .
He is gone , the stress is gone, you can finally breath!!
Little things trigger memories in people and PTSD pokes it's head into are lives again. Even a smell can be triggering. Give it some time for your life to adjust.
Accuputure has really benefited me too. It is expensive. But it helps