I have been the caregiver for my 96 year old mom in our home for 9 months now, She is in a wheelchair and can do some things, like wash her face, dry the dishes, fold laundry, with her hands, but I need to help lift her many times a day for potty breaks, etc. Since she has lived here, I am inwardly angry because she has a way of putting me down and when I try to explain how it makes me feel, she won't answer and just says she wants to leave. Anyway, the topic is my husband. He is retired and leaves a lot to help other older people and repair work they need on their homes, but forgets when I ask him to do something. Its almost like he's glad I've got something to do everyday so he can do what he wants and not feel guilty. I know its unrelieved stress on my part and even though I do try to get away an hour or so a day when I can, the responsibility still lies heavy on my shoulders when I get back. Does this happen to anyone else? Its getting so that even when we might be able to go alone, I don;t want to go with him - and that makes me feel very guilty too. Guilt is a terrible feeling and I want it gone in my life!
Part of that overwhelmingness is also based on recently having cancer [which my parents don't know about] and a newly found heart condition. My S/O is trying to help out by driving my parents to a lot of their doctor appointments, and delivering them their groceries before he goes to work.
He feels cheated because when my parents were my age they were traveling all over the country sight-seeing, going out to dinner, going to the movies, etc. But we never do anything fun any more.... we feel like we are 100 years old with all our aches and pains, and recently memory issues of our own.... how we loved to go hiking and be out in nature, now a walk around the block has become too much :(
Today more women have careers, so it's more difficult to stay home to care for one's parents.... why can't the men quit their jobs? Why is it always the woman?
Ouch, about your fall, that must had been scary.... and I, too, try not to tell my parents if I even have a cold, otherwise they become helicopter parents calling 10 times a day to see if I am ok and asking if I have aspirin, I could borrow theirs, etc. Good grief, do they really think my pantry is empty of medical supplies?? I know they mean well, but it can drive me crazy :P