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82 year old spouse taken care of by 81 year old wife at home. Just signed up for health care assistances. What should I look to/for?

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Reply to lealonnie1
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I don't know what responses on what thread you are referring to, but no, it isn't the "same" when it is a spouse.
When it is an AGED spouse.

You are 81. I am 82. So, to let you know I get it.
I am in pretty good shape, but I am in NO shape to care for a spouse with dementia. Or with much of anything else other than Hospice and a prognosis <6 months.
My partner and I, together now for 38 years, BOTH know that neither of us, if one of us fails, is going to be capable of in-home care. Period. Won't happen.
In fact, he in Oct. got a huge stroke (fine now due to very rapid response from clot busters). They wanted to do an embolectomy and he was all a garbled: "No. let me go". And I said to him "I am willing to let you go, but not willing to see you sitting in a nursing home for years with no left side functioning. And THAT is where you are headed, because this won't kill you; it will only make you wish you were dead".
Because no, unless it was coming home on Hospice (he had no function L side and no swallow) to die, I would no longer be capable of home care. I am an ex RN and I KNEW that.

IF you try this (and I highly recommend you do not) please do it with honesty to ALL that it is unlikely you can sustain what it takes to do this. EVEN with excellent help.

I am so dreadfully sorry. But this is where we of an age are headed. With certainty. SOMEthing is coming. I know that with everything I have. I hope it is sudden, one and done. We all hope for that. And it so seldom happens. I am so very sorry.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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