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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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She's not disrobing during the day anymore (she was) but almost every night as soon as my father-in-law and I get her "settled" she does the big strip. What is THAT about? And what should I do?
Lol, not uncommon. Mine gets up and starts getting dressed again! Or she will try to get ready to "leave" as she needs to "go home and sleep in her own bed." Never mind the fact that they have lived in this house for 12 years now. Either redirect and get the clothes back on, or provide plenty of blankets and a incontinence pad in the bed (if that is an issue) and let her sleep in the nude....
My mom does just about the same thing at 92. I put her to bed and about an hour later she will have her pajamas off and her pants back on. Last night she got dressed in the middle of the night. I just let her sleep in her pants last night because I was too tired to put her pajamas back on. She also says she needs to go home all the time, even though she has lived with me now for more than a year. So must be a pretty common thing.
dont laugh, but have you asked her if shes too warm? maybe her blanketts make her sweat? or joke with her and tell her 'shes not you type, please dont strip for you?' she could just be playing with you... got to keep your sense of humor..
This is very common of dementia patients. My mother did the same thing for years and years. She even undressed herself..bra and all while we were sitting in the living room watching TV. She FINALLY stopped doing that but it went on for several years. I'd just REdress her and laugh ..to get her to laugh about it. She didn't realize what she was doing. Glad we're done with THAT stage!
Variations of this seem to be very common among those with dementia. For the past couple of years, my 92 year old mother-in-law has gotten up and put layers of clothing on, either taking off her nightgown or putting other clothing on over it, saying she has to go to work, or school, or home. "Going home" has been a frequent request of hers for the past few years. She has lived in this house for more than 30 years, but it isn't this home she's talking about. She also talks about her parents being sick and poor and needing her help, or her brother or sister. They have all been gone for many years, but she no longer knows that. She is living in another time and place and there is little that anyone can do, other than to reassure her that she will be with them all again "one of these days". Having to try to provide some comfort for her yearning is probably the hardest thing I've found in being her fulltime caregiver. From what I've read and heard from others, none of this behavior is uncommon.
I went through that with my Mom, she got up, stripped, peed on the floor and got back in bed, omg it was awful. I bought unstrippable pj's at buck&buck online, then made my own after that. This is a rough stage to go thru, but you'll make it!
Maybe she likes the feeling of sleeping nude. It is much more comfortable than sleeping in pajamas. She should do whatever is most comfortable for HER and not to please anyone else. As long as the house is not broiling hot or freezing cold, why not? I have always slept in the nude as does my husband. You shouldn't do anything. It's her choice.
Hi DramaMama, Is your Mom hot natured? There are lots of helpful comments here. I like Melaniemorris' the best. My Mom has not resorted to this behavior yet BUT even though she only weighs 80 pounds she is VERY hot natured due to some of her medications and will only wear the lightest weight nightgowns made and always sleeveless.
I observed the same behavior in some of my friends as your mother-in-law. I thought it was their habit. My husband sometimes does the same. I know he is either hot or uncomfortable of something. As far as he does not do in public, I usually let him does it. After all, he is a decent man. I remember that some people told me, half year or so before they passed away, that they wanted to call or visit their loved ones (who were already deceased). I had let them talk, and listened. That's all what I could do. Peace.
The comment by Reverseroles just made me think of this. My mother-in-law, too, was getting up at night on occasion, and taking off her depends or undies, whichever she was in at the time, and peeing on the floor in a nearby spot, I did a few things to try to change this, one being taking her to the toilet as late as possible at night, usually around 11p.m. right before going to bed myself. That was hard because she had become less and less keen on getting out of bed for this. Then I discovered adult diapers by Tranquility, which I purchased through the Alzheimer's Store online. When I called to inquire about them, they sent samples first to make sure that size would be right, that we liked them, etc., before actually purchasing. They even paid the shipping cost, and sent several pairs in a couple different sizes and styles. These were great!!! This source sells in quantity, so they must mostly sell to facilities, but now we have dozens and dozens of the best pants. We particularly like the pull-up ones for overnight. They have not leaked, and they wick urine away amazingly, but have a very nice feel to them, much more pleasant than the store brands we had been using. We have not had a wet bed or night clothes since then, either. Nights have become much more restful for both of us, and I'm sure much more comfortable for her. Just thought I'd pass it along to anyone else who may be going through this, too.
I placed a pottie chair in my mom's room just so I could get some sleep at night. She uses it most of the time, but she does not like it. At first she would pee in it and then kick it over, always denying it, luckily for me I have a great carpet shampooer. She has not knocked it over in a while now, and last night I was talking to her about it, I reached over and jiggled it and said, " they make these so they don't fall over." and she looked at me and said, "I know, I have to kick it pretty hard." Oh mom, sigh.
This is not uncommon at all. My mother has been in Long term care for 4 years now. She will be sitting in the TV room with the others, and all of sudden you turn around she has he top off. Everbody on that ward does it, at one time or another. Even the men do. Part of the disease unfortunatley. They don't strip everyday. It seems they go through cycle of doing it.
My mom was stripping several times a night and then wandering. She would get lost trying to find the bathroom. She's say she she was cold (well, of course - she'd taken all of her clothes off!). She'd say her feet were cold and start a hot bath at 3 AM. She'd lie down next to the heating vent, naked, and I'd find her there in the morning. I tried sleeping in the room next to hers so I could head her off before she peed on the carpet in her room or in the family room. But I was getting up with her 10 or 12 times a night. She'd strip the bed, too, or she'd make it up,thinking it was time to get up - at 2 AM.
The stress and fatigure were really getting to me. I felt like such a failure. I'd resent my mom for being so demanding, then hate myself for resenting her. I knew intellectually that it wasn't her fault. She'd have no memory of the incidents.
We found a fine assisted living place for her. The staff is great and since the bathroom is connected to Mom's room, she has fewer incidents of getting lost. And there are people on duty all night who are used to dealing with these types of issues.
If she could have slept all night peacefully, I might have been able to care for her at home. But it just didn't work out, and I think we made the right decision. Now I can visit her with a smile on my face and we can do fun things and be daughter and mother - I don't have to be the scolding warden anymore, and she gets to talk to lots of different people every day and still see me often.
It's so helpful to hear from other people who have dealt with this frustrating behavior. Good luck to all of you!
It is such a blessing to have others who can relate to these "odd behaviors" and transform into "the normal" but which all are real problems for caregivers. I myself had the opposite problem with my Mom. She wouldn't get undressed. She slept in sneakers, coat, she was always afraid her stuff would get stolen, so if she kept them on she didn't have to worry about them. The other reason I think is because, if she got a chance to get out of the house she was ready to go!!! She never was or still isn't stupid, I was though ..... LOL!!! One day at the NH another resident was stripping with a room full of people and my 10 year old nephew was there. I politely brought it to the attention of the staff and they said "yes that's what she does." They removed her, because my Mom was enjoying my nephews visit. Instead of trying to get her to stop. That was the easier solution.
MIL likes to randomly walk around in underpants and shirt. I think it is fine to sleep that way. It is not fine to walk around the house. One funny. Shortly after she moved in, she was explaining something to me. Our teenage son was a few feet away doing his homework. Out of nowhere,she lefts up her shirt, exposing her breasts. I looked over at my son, who thankfully was engrossed in his studies. I just kept thinking that one look at naked old granny could scar him for life! I will say, she had a mischevious smirk on her face through the whole thing. I tried not to react. Mercifully, this was a one time thing. She does like to walk around in shirt and underpants. We repeatedly have told her that is not ok.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
The stress and fatigure were really getting to me. I felt like such a failure. I'd resent my mom for being so demanding, then hate myself for resenting her. I knew intellectually that it wasn't her fault. She'd have no memory of the incidents.
We found a fine assisted living place for her. The staff is great and since the bathroom is connected to Mom's room, she has fewer incidents of getting lost. And there are people on duty all night who are used to dealing with these types of issues.
If she could have slept all night peacefully, I might have been able to care for her at home. But it just didn't work out, and I think we made the right decision. Now I can visit her with a smile on my face and we can do fun things and be daughter and mother - I don't have to be the scolding warden anymore, and she gets to talk to lots of different people every day and still see me often.
It's so helpful to hear from other people who have dealt with this frustrating behavior. Good luck to all of you!
One day at the NH another resident was stripping with a room full of people and my 10 year old nephew was there. I politely brought it to the attention of the staff and they said "yes that's what she does." They removed her, because my Mom was enjoying my nephews visit. Instead of trying to get her to stop. That was the easier solution.