Mom has dementia & lives alone. But she does have a tendency to be up & down all night long, so I think she will require overnight care soon. I can arrange for paid overnight aides, but to save money (I have POA), I was thinking that if each of the siblings who live local take 1-2 nights, then Mom's money would last longer. We do have other siblings that live far away, so they would be "off the hook". My question is, should I pay for family overnight stays - me included? After all, it's not like we actually have to DO anything but just be there & sleep. My sibs disagree & think we should be paid (we currently are paid for when we are with Mom during the day). I don't know what the big deal is -- after all, they will get their share of the money after Mom dies. The will is set up for all assets to be split evenly after Mom's death.
Because we are living so much longer and because that means we are so much more likely to have medical issues, very very few of us will be able to leave an estate that gets our children through their own golden years. Sorry. That is the new reality.
If you want to volunteer your time in order that you and your siblings will have a bigger estate to share some day, that is your right. But I don't think you should automatically expect your local siblings to make that same decision. If you can't convince them to volunteer, then you will either have to do it all yourself, or hire strangers to do it, probably at a rate that will deplete the estate even faster.
Of course you do not want to cash Mom's assets in if you don't have to. Looks to me like that is the best choice and that you may have to, in order to fulfill your responsibility of acting in your mother's best interest.
As POA you have to do what is best for your mother -- not what is best for her heirs.
1) Decide on a rate of pay for night duty. (I'd make it less than the market rate, unless Mom is wealthy.)
2) Decide on a schedule among local siblings. Trading and adjusting may be necessary from time to time. The one who actually works the night gets paid for the night.
3) Draw up personal care agreements that spell out the pay rate and the duties, for Mom to sign.
4) When the time comes, any remaining estate can be divided equally among all siblings (if that is Mom's wish), without regard to who did what.
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