Love my mum. She is 100 and has had infection after infection. Now she’s stopped eating, it has been 12 days. We keep making her drink and have been told this is the end. I just feel I should still try make her eat something and am finding it hard to see her like this. She was always such a strong person, but I know she’s fading away. Should I just not worry about food?
At End of Life the body does not need the nourishment from food. It does not feel hunger the way you and I do.
The process of digestion has stopped.
To put food into her would mean the food will remain in her stomach or intestines and it will remain there causing discomfort.
Please offer moistened swabs to keep her lips and mouth moist.
If she sucks on the swab that is fine but do not give her fluids. Giving fluids can cause Aspiration.
Sit by her.
Hold her hand.
Tell her that you love her and that you will be fine.
Thank her for being a great mom.
Give her a kiss.
If you can lay next to her and let her know you are with her.
🙏
Your mother has been blessed with a beautiful daughter and granddaughter.
It’s obvious how much you love her. I am sure that she loves you.
My mom lived to be 95. Her appetite diminished greatly as she aged. Towards the end she stopped eating and drinking.
The hospice nurse placed dampened swabs in her mouth to keep it moist.
Please don’t force your mom to eat. It’s actually uncomfortable for a dying person to eat. She could vomit if forced to eat.
A friend of mine took care of her sister at home. She kept feeding her sister and her sister threw up shortly before she died.
However, it will make your mum's last days more comfortable if you are calm and not fretting about something you have no control over.
Help your mum to be at peace by helping yourself to just be. Be in the here and now, not worrying about what you haven't done or what you will need to do.
Make sure that you look after yourself as well as your mum. Notice each moment, each act of love in everything you do.
Your life is about to change. Give yourself time and space to adjust and, when the time comes, also to grieve.
They will be able to answer any questions you may have about the dying process as well.
But do know that the digestive system is the first to shut down when someone is actively dying, so forcing someone to eat or drink can actually cause great pain.
The body knows that it doesn't need any food or even drink as it nears its end, so I would just let your mum dictate if she wants any drinks or not.
Please just enjoy whatever time you may have left with your mum and don't leave anything left unsaid.
God bless you.
Thoughts and prayers.
Please keep us posted.
OP you must have done an amazing job to get her to 100 years old. amazing.
a hug from me to you and your mom.
🍀🍀🌼🌼🍀🍀
Sometimes, meaning well, we try to force fluids. If can prolong suffering by days, and even by weeks. Then too there is the difficulty with the swallow reflex. Food or fluid can go down the airway and into the lung, causing pneumonia and difficulty with breathing and increased secretions.
It is my fervent hope you have the support of a good Hospice.
You have my condolences, but oh, my goodness--100. No one will ever read your mom's obit and say she died too young! (Too late for that for me as well, at 81).
What an amazing long life.
My parents left me while in their early to mid 90s. I felt surprised to feel an almost complete absence of grief and to feel relief only that I never had to fear for them again, never had to stand witness to indignities and further losses for those two I held so fear, and never had myself to feel the agony of standing witness to their loss. I hope for that same peaceful release for you. Know while you are living your mom will be with you.
Heart out to you.
I hope you will update us.
we do are best but I feel now I’m trying to hard to get her to eat or drink as I’m 63 and don’t want to lose my mum but know it’s going to happen