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2 years ago I was able to flip a nice good sized house I'd been paying extra on for 8 years in a primary market into a small paid for house in a secondary market, make the move back to the rural area I was born in, visited all my life. This allowed my husband to work part time. I thought it was going to be awesome, finally slow things down for both of us. We've both always been "over achievers" with too much on our plates by our own choosing really, but I'd been seeing signs it was time to turn the volume down a lot, and am super glad I did see it coming and prepare. Sadly it seems he's decided this "gift" was exclusively for him, and not for me. As soon as we got moved he started sitting in his chase chair and dozing all day. Stopped helping with anything and everything. Fought the idea of working at all. He'd have been stuck full time the rest of his life if I hadn't did what I did and added my small inheritance to make this work, as he absolute crashed our finances behind my back a decade ago. He did take a slow part time job, it's right up the street, Monday-Wednesday. The days he works he seems pretty normal, animated, thinks, talks, pays attention to his 2 large dogs, moves around, lets them out, feeds them their dinner. The 4 days he doesn't work he sits and stares down in-between nodding off, ignores the doggies pleas for attention or a trip outside, says very little, only answers with one word if I try to engage him. As soon as I feed him he's out cold within 20 minutes, solidly asleep for 3 hours. Eats again, back to sleep, he does seem to wake up from about 6 to 9 p.m., then it's bedtime with no alarm set, he'll sleep 10-11 hours, and repeat for the entire 4 day string every week. (?). He's 12 years older than me, but I do have some health issues after having had a pretty tough life. I'm starting to get pretty burnt out being the only responsible adult in the house. If he's perfectly OK the 3 days, why isn't he for the 4 days off? Is he scamming me to get me to do all the work and take all the responsibility, or is this normal for his age? All my Uncles are 10 years older than him and they are all active.

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Have you tried simply telling him your feelings? I think as women we tend to take on more than our fair share, but men (no offense to the men on here) but they can’t see beyond themselves sometimes. My husband is very loving and caring, but if I don’t voice up what I need from him, he doesn’t clue in. However, once I do speak up, he’s there for me, every single time.

Just tell him your feelings.
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Ummm, have you asked HIM why he's behaving this way? And not in an accusatory tone, but rather as an "I'm really worried about you, honey...you seem so tired all the time, even when you have gotten quite a bit of sleep...I think you should go see the doctor. I'll be happy to come along with you for support".

Because with just the little you've written here, I think this has less to do with his health, and more to do with your relationship. But by all means, get his health checked first, just don't be surprised if his reasons for sleeping all day aren't health-related.
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It really stinks when life does not go the way we expect it to!

Perhaps depression? Have you asked him what the heck is going on? Tell him that you need hi to take care of the dogs, do chores, etc. You are still working and can't be doing everything for him. No thanks!

Tell him you're worried about him and want him to have a full work up done. Blood work, visit with primary care doctor, and whatever comes out of that.

Sleep apnea? But that doesn't explain how he can pull it together for 3 days a week?
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New2this Dec 2021
Yes exactly, that's what really has me confused. Supposedly he didn't want to work, (but I knew he couldn't just sit there all 7 days), but those are the 3 days a week he's happy and alert. Come Thursday morning, it's like a switch has been flipped off, and it remains so all 4 days in a row. I had been worried, because my beloved Great Grandpa did that for the last 6 months before they found he was dying of cancer. But then when he got working part time, it's only on the days he's not working. I've woke him and told him I need you to fold the towels and put them away, or got get some milk, just little things, he can and will, but I feel weird about doing that. I don't want to be mean to him if it's just age, but he seems pretty young for that. I've asked if he's sleeping well at night and he says he is. I've asked him about going to the Dr and he says we can't afford it since we don't have insurance anymore. But he does have medicare, I'm sure we could fill in the blanks to get the ball rolling. I'm at a loss. I noticed I was going into a flare and cancelled the Thanksgiving plans, quick bought a small bird and a few sides. He the dinner conversation from him was one word, "good". Decorating the tree a few days later he wouldn't help, would just say "I'm no good at that". He used to love Thanksgiving, helped peal potatoes, lift the heavy things, would want candles lit and to say grace, used to love decorating the tree, (and is actually better at the placement of the lights than me). I tried to get him to talk about it last weekend, think about what it must be like from my end, and he just completely sincerely said if it bothers you, then I will go and sleep in the bedroom, in the daytime. (?)
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Time for an updated medical evaluation, including all you’ve related here. If there’s a clean bill of health maybe time for some marriage counseling to see why this dynamic is happening
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68 is way too young to give up on life, there is either undiagnosed depression or something physical going on with him. Is there any hope you will able to get him to see a doctor about this?
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