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He is currently going through chemo and has fallen at least 5 or 6 times in the house. He lost weight and is very weak from the side effects of chemo. Three to 4 days after chemo he can't stand on his feet and doesn't sleep well. He is not making rational decisions. Recently my daughter drove with him and he was weaving on the road although he got where they were going.
I'm very concerned being his POA.
Please advise.


Joe

Obviously not. Drive dad around while he goes thru chemo.
Best of luck to you.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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I think you already know he shouldn’t be driving.
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Reply to LoopyLoo
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Do you want to get in the car with him?

If that's a no , I don't think others want to be on the road with him driving either.

I know how hard this is to take someones freedom and lively hood away from the. Not to mention the difficult in explaining it to him, and the arguments. But this has to be done.
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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Yes,it's time to take the keys away and hide them or disable the vehicle. It's too bad your daughter couldn't take over the driving at the time. He's going through a rough ordeal and should be resting, not out and about. If he can't rationalize that he's endangering the people around him and himself, most definitely he shouldn't be driving. Arrangements should be made to get him to Dr appointments or shopping. You're right, as POA you have a responsibility to protect him from himself and protect the people around him. I'm surprised the Dr's treating him hasn't specified his limitations. Do you have his health care directive too? Someone should be going with him to the Dr and getting the feedback about his condition.
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Reply to JuliaH
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Would you let him take your grandchild in the car with him?
Would you ride with him?
I am guessing no.
From what you have described he does not sound safe at this time.
I say that because some of this might be caused by his current treatment. If he has not had problems previously it might be related. Meaning once he has completed treatment and regains strength he might be a safe driver. That remains to be seen. For now I would say he should not drive.
You can ask his doctor to say that for now he should not be driving.

I am not one to say that just because of a persons age they should not drive. There are ways to evaluate a driver and that should be done before he drives again.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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If he has no strength to walk, he has no stength to stop a car. Take his keys away and park the car at someone elses house,
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Def no.

First and foremost as others have suggested, you need to keep the car away from him. You can tell him a therapeutic fib, like, "The doc says no driving until you've recovered from your treatment." or something along those lines so he can't blame you.

Then make sure he has lots of rides when he needs them to lessen the impact of this loss of freedom. Otherwise he will just be calling you up and cranking about it every day.

If you have a hard time getting him to voluntarily giving up driving, ask his primary physician to order a virtual driving assessment through the OT dept (occupational therapy). This is how I got my 95-yr old to stop when she was 100% resistant. The OT, primary doc and Dept of Public Safety do all the dirty work. Can't blame you.

But then you'll have to still take away the car. My Mom went so far as to hide the keys so well even she couldn't remember where she put them. Then she also did the same with the car title to prevent me from selling it (it didn't work but made more work for me).

FYI my 90+ yr old uncle drove through a red light and was t-bone on the passenger side, killing his wife and the dog in her lap. She survived cancer twice but not the poor decision of their adult children to not deal with his impaired driving skills. Fortunately the other victims were not seriously hurt.

FYI chronological age is not what should determine whether an elder drives or not. At 92 my Mom was a good driver still (she drove me around and I also would secretly follow her to keep checking). She also knew her limitations: didn't drive after dark, didn't drive in snowy or rainy whether, didn't drive during rush hour or schoolbus time; didn't drive to unfamiliar places.
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Reply to Geaton777
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No he should not be. Driving requires snap decisions and reflexes. Even if he wasn't on chemo, it isn't wise to let am elderly person drive. I know when my late husband has chemo he was given Benadryl which made him sleepy. Chemo causes a lot of weakness and sleepy feelings so I would say either have someone take him or look into a shuttle service.


The days Mark had immunotherapy and I couldn't get off work, a shuttle took him to and from appointments. Medicare paid for nine rides a year.
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Reply to DoggieMom86
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No. Someone who cannot make rational decisions and who is this weak should not be driving at 92.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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You can contact the Department of Motor Vehicles since you have POA and have his license revoked. Explain to him that the DMV removed it so he doesn’t aim his anger towards you…he is a danger to himself and others. 🫶🏻
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Reply to Gacast70
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