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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Thanks I always offer or have made up and in refridge if I'm going out for my husbands caregivers and I'm sure he likes them to eat with him. I have found them to be very caring of my spouce
I offer meals and snacks to my mother's privately engaged respite care givers; it's the Southern farming way.
BTW: Today I offered the UPS guy some hot coffee in a large take out cup. In the summer I offer 2 bottles of water to the UPS/FedEx delivery folks - one cold and one frozen. I never have a problem getting a box set just inside the door and small packages are always placed in my storage bench when I'm away from home.
We're not really in clients' homes long enough for meals to be a common issue, but we would definitely "decline with thanks" - as we do do on the many occasions when we're offered tea or coffee and snacks. Speaking for myself I always appreciate the thought, but for one thing there IS a boundary there (I wouldn't accept tips or gifts either) and it's simplest just not to go near it, and for another if we did accept we'd spend half the shift desperately hunting for loos.
Mother's main aide brought her own lunch but was very happy to share mother's and leave hers in the fridge to take home again. She never took it for granted, though; I always had to invite her.
If the aides are there at the mealtimes of the person they're looking after, then I would say yes they should be invited to share. But you don't have to provide them with food for their breaks, they should really bring their own.
How long are their shifts? Is it practical for them to bring enough to last them?
I always offered the CGs for my dad the option to eat it if it was there.. just the same as I did my daughters friends when she was here.. it's there,, eat it! Dads CG used to BRING food she cooked for mom and dad,, like chicken soup or desserts, and she never asked for a penny for it, and she made a lot less than we did! She also never ate us out of house and home.. I think it is just polite to offer people who take care of our loved ones ( and our CG loved my folks also)some common courtesy .I would never think to make a pot of coffee and not offer it.. To me it is the same. Now if you could PROVE your CG is shopping in your pantry that would be another thing,, But we never had this happen. Jannyfa I think you sound like a careing person, and your aides probably love you
I do not have hired aides, but I always offer drinks, snacks and meals to people who do work for me.
Whether a plumber, landscaper or handiman, I will offer snacks or a meal. The handiman who looks after our cottage property is invited to dinner a few times a year too.
I used to run a babysitting agency. We requested the client provide the sitter with a meal if/when they were feeding the children. It's considered a common courtesy, in my opinion, and one that should be extended to all hired people who are coming into one's home & caring for their children, their parents, or their loved ones in general.
As human beings caring for other human beings, why not extend such a courtesy? When I worked as an aide for an elderly couple, I DID consider them friends and they DID consider me a friend as well. How do you not do that? It blows my mind to think that a relationship would not be developed between caregivers of all kinds and the people they care for. Isn't that what life is all about?
Good for you to the OP for offering meals to the aides who help you out.
FloridaDD, I am surprised that you feel so strongly about this. There may be contract requirements, or personal preferences that people really wish to follow. Otherwise there are no rules or moral issues, and the employer can choose the arrangements about food.
Many times, the client is not competent. In that situation, the client can not give informed consent. Yes, I consider immoral to take from helpless people. And I see a slippery slope. One day, making a sandwich, the next week, adding cake to the food order, and taking leftovers home.
Would you like it if your 5 year old was sitting at school, and two 10 years old came by and asked him for some of his lunch? They are in a position of power, and it is not fair.
Many on this board demand that caregivers stick to the contract when it is to THEIR advantage. To me, it is hypocritical to demand that aids be treated as employees when it is their benefit, but not treated as employees if that benefits them.
We have dealt with two agencies (as we moved my mom), and both agencies have firm rules on no eating food. Presumably, they understand that the client cannot make an informed consent.
Whenever we hire an aide, it's generally for all day, 9 hours. So yes, I do offer them food and drink. Many don't accept but I always at least make the offer.
I also tell them I'm not one of those people that thinks they have to look busy every minute they are there. It's not the nature of caregiving. As long as stuff gets done, then stuff gets done. So I actually show them to a room they can use to chill out in. There's a TV there and a selection of movies. I tell them it's their respite if they need to get away for a while.
That's how I always treated all my employees during my career. I care that work gets done. I don't care that people need to look busy because they are on "my time". Happy workers are productive workers.
I considered the aides that worked with us while helping to take care of my mother as friends! I certainly didn't treat them as the hired help! This is a whole other category, in my opinion. We certainly did tell them they were welcome to eat. We even had them make a grocery list since they were also cooking for my mother and we told them to put things down they wanted. These were people who were private caretakers. Some would stay all weekend so couldn't necessarily leave and get food. Yeah, I know, there may be labor laws on that but it is how they wanted to work and we wanted to work with them since they were life savers to us. They also ate with my mom and that was comforting to her. Funny thing, half the time they still brought their own food, but they knew they could eat what was there. Yes, it cost more, but it costs more to keep someone at home anyway.
I think there’s something about breaking bread with another person that feeds our spirit. Many of us come from a generation where everyone sat down together and shared the day’s events while they ate. I think sharing the meal gives our LO an opportunity to socialize and they’re more likely to eat better as a result. So yes, I think it can be a wonderful thing. If you prefer not, there should be no obligation to do so. Check with the agency to clarify their policies, but at the end of the day I would do what feels right. Especially, if it makes your LO happy.
When I worked ELder Care, I was supposed to have two 15 minutes breaks in a 6 hr shift and 1/2 hr for lunch. Never happened. My client would look at my days with her as GO-GO-GO days. But--she did have lunch with me everyday. She LOVED fast food and the daughter she lived with did not allow it in the house, so we'd go out and get a Wendy's Jr Burger--which 'A' LOVED, as her daughter also didn't want red meat in the house. I remember one day that I had bought a huge diet coke (she didn't drink caffeine at all) and 'A' took my drink and pounded down 24 ounces of DC without coming up for air. I just sat there and looked at her--and she put the cup down and said "That was fantastic. Wait, did I just drink your drink?" We laughed about that and afterwards they kept a case of DC just for me. She'd always have one with me.
A wanted to be a bigger part of the family and so once a week "she" made dinner. Which meant, I made dinner.
I think it's probably actually a LAW that you give CG's a small break during the day. It is a long time between breakfast at 7 am and dinner at 7 pm with no time set aside for lunch.
Giving a required break is NOT the same as providing food to an employee. Laws for caregivers are different in every state, and many do NOT work 7-7. Giving food that the client is not supposed to have is awful. My mom is under doctor's orders, no soda, diet or regular.
My 2 Aunties (97 + 100) in FL have had the same agency companion for many years, who they just love and she is like family. She is there over the lunch hour. My 100-yr old Aunt makes her lunch so they can eat together (Italian-American heritage, so eating ritual is a big deal). My mother (their younger sister) is completely annoyed by this because they are on a very limited budget, but I think my Aunts would feel very uncomfortable with excluding her or having her eat different food. I also think this keeps my Aunt occupied, and it is a way of expressing love and gratitude to this companion. This was a long way of saying it should be left up to the care receiver or the person making the care decision.
Wow, I think your mother's budget should be respected. The aid is putting your mom in an awful position, how can she not realize that they are on a budget?
But if you think it is so important, maybe you should chip in for the food
This is tricky. If they are making the meals, then of course they should sit down with the client and eat with them. I guess if you are making a meal for ur LO and an aide is there, then it would be rude not to invite them. These aides do not make much money and support a family usually. It would save a little money for them by u cooking for them.
I agree with Willie. What does the contract say, if using an agency.
I think if you don't mind doing it, do it. Its a nice gesture.
Totally disagree. They are employees, not friends. the agency my mom's aid works for won't even allow them to have my water (the water here is awful, and I keep an office style water cooler.). Every agency we have add does not allow them to eat our food. Might be different with live in. Aid brings her lunch, puts in frig if appropriate
Are these privately hired or from an agency? If you have hired privately that should have been part of your negotiations, if hired by an agency it should be detailed in your contract. It may be unrealistic to expect them to carry a bag lunch if they are are there for an extended period of time, but that shouldn't mean they are cleaning out your pantry.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
BTW: Today I offered the UPS guy some hot coffee in a large take out cup. In the summer I offer 2 bottles of water to the UPS/FedEx delivery folks - one cold and one frozen. I never have a problem getting a box set just inside the door and small packages are always placed in my storage bench when I'm away from home.
Mother's main aide brought her own lunch but was very happy to share mother's and leave hers in the fridge to take home again. She never took it for granted, though; I always had to invite her.
If the aides are there at the mealtimes of the person they're looking after, then I would say yes they should be invited to share. But you don't have to provide them with food for their breaks, they should really bring their own.
How long are their shifts? Is it practical for them to bring enough to last them?
Whether a plumber, landscaper or handiman, I will offer snacks or a meal. The handiman who looks after our cottage property is invited to dinner a few times a year too.
As human beings caring for other human beings, why not extend such a courtesy? When I worked as an aide for an elderly couple, I DID consider them friends and they DID consider me a friend as well. How do you not do that? It blows my mind to think that a relationship would not be developed between caregivers of all kinds and the people they care for. Isn't that what life is all about?
Good for you to the OP for offering meals to the aides who help you out.
Would you like it if your 5 year old was sitting at school, and two 10 years old came by and asked him for some of his lunch? They are in a position of power, and it is not fair.
Many on this board demand that caregivers stick to the contract when it is to THEIR advantage. To me, it is hypocritical to demand that aids be treated as employees when it is their benefit, but not treated as employees if that benefits them.
We have dealt with two agencies (as we moved my mom), and both agencies have firm rules on no eating food. Presumably, they understand that the client cannot make an informed consent.
I also tell them I'm not one of those people that thinks they have to look busy every minute they are there. It's not the nature of caregiving. As long as stuff gets done, then stuff gets done. So I actually show them to a room they can use to chill out in. There's a TV there and a selection of movies. I tell them it's their respite if they need to get away for a while.
That's how I always treated all my employees during my career. I care that work gets done. I don't care that people need to look busy because they are on "my time". Happy workers are productive workers.
It is fine to me if aid takes break, as long as work gets done
Funny thing, half the time they still brought their own food, but they knew they could eat what was there.
Yes, it cost more, but it costs more to keep someone at home anyway.
A wanted to be a bigger part of the family and so once a week "she" made dinner. Which meant, I made dinner.
I think it's probably actually a LAW that you give CG's a small break during the day. It is a long time between breakfast at 7 am and dinner at 7 pm with no time set aside for lunch.
But if you think it is so important, maybe you should chip in for the food
I agree with Willie. What does the contract say, if using an agency.
I think if you don't mind doing it, do it. Its a nice gesture.