He wants to empty out my mothers' entire house within a week of her passing. i live at her home and took care of her for two years for the family and my mom. I feel bullied, overwhelmed, unable to grieve her passing. It is all about money and getting it down; I need time to sit and be and sort slowly. he is trying to make all decisions without me - we haven't seen her lawyer yet and the will hasn't been read even. what am i going to do?
What does her will read as far as the disposition of her assets? If the attorney who drew up the will is still in practice, I'd contact them for my probate attorney first.
i'd suggest you contact an estate or probate attorney ASAP to start on this and you contract with them so they are your person first & foremost. You can't be passive about all this. I know it's tough and you are still grieving but you have to be pro-active and get yourself involved in all this from the beginning. Ask how long probate can run in your state. Whatever the timeframe is for probate, you do not have to file immediately. Getting an attorney doesn't mean you have to file right then either. You can literally wait on starting probate for quite a long while and presenting the letter of testamentary which opens probate, unless there is a pressing immediate need (e.g. a house about to go to foreclosure). Then you have a while to have it open. Like in TX it's 4 years you can have probate open
Whatever you do you HAVE to go to probate hearings to state your position on what to be done with the house, present the details on whatever you may be owed by the estate for expenses you paid on the house or for your parent. You want to submit a bill to the estate for any & all expenses paid since mom died too.
Oh & if there is any"management" or administration of the estate being paid, you need to get 50% of whatever it is that your sibling is getting. So if he is getting 2% of the estate for management or $ 500 a month or whatever, then you should be getting that also as co-executor.
Perchance was Medicaid involved for paying for any of mom's care?
really sorry for you but I really dont think he can do this. Am just horrified how can you do this to someone whos grieving?? Am I totally naive or could mine do same never thought about this.
stand your ground and stay put! HUGE HUG!